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Parents "work without a license", how to light up their children's talents?
Then discuss parenting together.

A few days ago, we pushed "Do you want to go to early education and interest classes?" This is the most touching answer I have ever heard. On WeChat, I received news about my children's interests from friends for several days. In addition to agreeing with the view that "don't solidify children's interests in a hurry", many friends are anxious about not finding children's interests-what if children are not interested in anything?

Before answering this question, let's take a look at what happened to Niu Niu's mother.

My daughter suddenly refused to go to dance class.

Shortly after Christmas, Niu Niu's mother told me in distress: "Niu Niu refuses to go to dance class anyway."

I'm a little puzzled. Look at the pictures of children's Christmas performances posted in her circle of friends, and the live effect is very good. I didn't know the problem was in that performance until I talked in detail.

Niu Niu is four and a half years old now. She started working five months ago. Every Tuesday and Thursday, after school, she will go to a training institution not far from home for two dance classes.

Many mothers are similar to Niu Niu's mother:

I don't expect to learn anything, but it is good for girls to learn dancing from primary school to shape their bodies. It is enough that they dare to do anything at school in the future.

With her mother's open attitude, Niu Niu doesn't like going to dance classes very much, but she has never rebelled.

Before Christmas, training institutions will prepare for the Christmas show. Niu Niu and some friends who are in class together rehearse the program under the organization of the teacher.

It is not easy for several children as young as 4 years old to finish a dance harmoniously. It is often difficult for several children to dance at the rehearsal scene.

In order to achieve the effect of "dancing together", the dance teacher gave birth to a small stove for several children the night before the performance, and rehearsed until almost ten o'clock in the evening.

Before the performance the next day, the dance teacher called several children who had been in high spirits for the festival together to continue rehearsing, and strictly required the children to behave themselves and perform seriously.

The performance went well that day, but Niu Niu's interest in dancing plummeted, and she sighed when she mentioned dance lessons.

Niu Niu's mother originally understood the dance teacher in this way: this kind of performance, training institutions will generally invite some parents who have not reported to work to bring their children to watch, and the performance effect may affect the teacher's "performance", so they will pursue the effect.

But seeing Niu Niu's resistance to the dance class, Niu Niu's mother began to doubt her support for the dance teacher and began to be complacent and annoyed about her child's "successful performance":

Is it worthwhile to influence children's interest for a performance?

What Niu Niu encounters is the problem that many children may encounter in the interest cultivation stage:

Adults, for their own purposes, ignore children's development level and endurance, and excessively demand children to achieve certain academic achievements. On the contrary, children will soon lose interest because they can't enjoy the fun of trying independently at the beginning of exploration.

A three-and-a-half-year-old girl fell in love with Lego.

My friend's daughter is three and a half years old. Recently, she is addicted to playing with tall building blocks, and they are small particles.

When she told me this, I didn't believe it at first. First, I watched my friend's daughter grow up. The little girl has good reading habits and strong language skills. But also because I always stay at home, pestering adults to read books and tell stories, my body's great sports ability and fine finger movements are average.

In addition, small particles of Lego can only be mastered by children aged six or seven, while children aged three or four have limited finger muscle strength, so it is very unlikely to play with small particles of educational toys.

But after listening to a friend's story about her daughter's contact with Lego and the way she played with her children, I was more sure:

A good environment and companionship can really create a miracle of interest.

My friend's daughter is not even interested in the big Lego at home. Two months ago, she enrolled her children in a training institution for a weekly audio-visual children's art enlightenment course.

Children who come to Lego classes are three or four years old to six or seven years old. In the activity room, my friend's daughter especially likes to join in the fun behind her brother and sister. When she saw the older children sitting there, she sat by and did it.

My friend didn't take it seriously at first, until one day I sat by and watched my daughter and a little sister have fun and helped her find the parts she needed in a pile of small particles. It is fast and accurate, and some parts can tell them exactly where they are inserted.

She has keenly captured her daughter's detailed ability (the importance of not playing with her child's mobile phone is obvious, otherwise she would not notice the appearance of her child's ability at all). After returning home, she immediately ordered a set of small granule building blocks with relatively simple shapes and tried to play with her children at home.

In the process of playing with children, she reflected on why children are not interested in big particles at home:

At first, she was willing to play, but the tireless baby father kept nagging, "Oh, you're not right, you have to do this …" After being beaten several times, the child stopped playing.

This time, playing with small particles directly, she carefully analyzed the actual situation of the child first-

My daughter's finger muscles have no ability to insert small particles, so she can't concentrate on insertion; My daughter's sense of accomplishment mainly comes from her ability to find the needed particles according to the drawings and tell where these particles should be inserted, which is the main motivation for children to play with this.

In order to understand this, she is having fun with her daughter and will first guide the children to look at the drawings together. "Let's see what parts we need to find in the first step, and we'll find them together ..."

Of course, she usually waits for the child to find it herself, and only takes action when the child can't find it. Knowing when to let children win and when to let them lose is particularly important.

After finding out the parts, "Let's see how to spell these two ..." The child will try to spell it by herself, so she will pay close attention to the child's state and sometimes spell it, but because the strength is not strong enough, she will quietly help to pinch it;

Sometimes children can't press it several times, which is a bit annoying. She guided the child to the next part and inserted the particle into the child's hand.

She felt that the child was a little tired, so she let the child have a rest and do something else, and then continue when she wanted to continue.

In this way, every night, two girls will sit at the table and play for a while. Up to now, six have been released, and my daughter likes it more and more, and she can't sit still for longer and longer.

In this process, she found that her daughter's observation ability is getting stronger and stronger, and the fine movements of her fingers have also made remarkable progress. In many cases, she has been able to put the particles in place by herself.

At the same time, my daughter has made remarkable progress in holding pens and chopsticks. It should be because her finger muscles have been fully exercised, and painting is like hanging up, trees, flowers, little people …

Things that were not shaped before can now draw a little meaning.

This friend gave me a vivid lesson on how to stimulate and protect children's interest.

Provide children with a richer learning and social environment, so that children have the opportunity to touch things that they can't touch at ordinary times, and don't complain about children because there are idle toys at home;

Discover children's interests in time, and guide exploration and attempt in a way suitable for children according to their actual situation;

Insist on letting children do what they are good at and help them enjoy it;

Understand and respect the original intention of children to like something, and don't ask children to use the methodology and outcome theory of adults.

By doing these things right, every child can have a wide range of interests.

Curiosity is the innate ability of children, and it is also the original motivation for children to explore the unknown. Many children's interests sprout from curiosity.

If we want our child to have a wide range of interests, we must protect his curiosity when he first sees the world. Digging sand, playing with stones, picking up leaves, treading water, doodling everywhere … these "naughty" things, every child has been crazy about them.

It is gratifying that more and more parents are beginning to accept their children's behavior, and are willing to regard this behavior as their exploration of nature, and allow their children to do something that adults find boring, boring or even unreasonable within a certain range. (In "Mom has a stupid habit, children's lives are very different", we shared the importance of boring and boring things. )

Before the child is two years old, the higher we accept these "hobbies" of children, the more fully they explore and try the environment and themselves.

When a child picks up a brush for the first time and tries to pile up the building blocks high, do you applaud him and let him do it to his heart's content, or do you teach him "don't do this or that" responsibly? If it is the former, children's interest in what they have will last longer.

Most children are sensitive and fragile, no matter how careless they seem.

Many times, children don't need us to behave badly. We can do anything, which may make children fall into frustration and self-denial. In severe cases, I don't even want to try something I'm not good at.

Respect the result of every attempt of the child. Even if his painting is a mess, don't rush to correct it. Listen to him first. Even if the shape he created with the magnetic film is wrong, don't rush to teach him how to do it. Appreciate his ideas first.

Quick success and instant benefit are the greatest enemies of interests. Don't lose your child's lining because of the face of an adult.

Young children, especially those before the age of two or three, are encouraged, tolerated and cared for, which will make him meet the ups and downs of future life with full warmth.

Han Yan's mother said-

The article was pushed on Friday, and I took a leave of absence due to illness. The backstage and WeChat received the attention of many friends. I want to thank everyone here. It's much better now, otherwise I wouldn't have the energy to share new articles with you.

We talked about interest classes before. So far, I have only enrolled my children in English classes and basketball classes. I have observed them for a long time, and I am basically sure that he can persist until he makes up his mind.

Up to now, when asked if he liked most of the courses he auditioned for, his answer was yes, including painting, but he and I haven't decided whether to enroll in art interest classes.

This is the work that Zhe brought back one day. My first impression is that individual elements, such as dogs, rainbows and kennels, are understandable, but the whole thing is a bit messy and I don't know what to express.

Before going to bed at night, I was his audience and asked him to tell me about the painting. Then I heard a story-

When it rains, the little spider's mother won't let it out. It was so naughty that it had to run out to play and get wet. The rain stopped, the sun came out and colorful rainbows appeared in the sky. The puppy saw a bone and ran out to eat the bone without eating the dog food on his plate. Then the dark clouds came and the sun was dark; Small basin friends can come out and look at the white pagoda in the distance along the road paved with pebbles. ...

In the middle, he told me that dogs love to eat bones, so he bought a house with bones for dogs.

After he fell asleep, I chatted with her father and said that I was glad that I didn't directly say that I didn't understand when the child painted me, otherwise I might not have heard his dynamic expression.

In art, I am a failed mother. When I was a child, I hardly had art classes or music classes, so I could only keep singing out of tune. Therefore, for children, my requirements for myself are: encourage more, evaluate less, and respect children's expressions and interests.

For the vast majority of children, their interests will not become specialties, and there will be no results that we adults think. However, as children grow older, their self-control will become stronger and stronger, and they will also improve their requirements under our guidance.

Children will gradually learn to use goals to motivate their efforts and reward their efforts with results.

Knowing how to use the power of internalization to motivate yourself to learn to stick to it is one of the best gifts we can give our children.