First of all, the price of live-in nannies is unbearable now, and the price of some senior nannies is even higher than the salary earned by leaving children behind for one month. Secondly, I am most worried about how the nanny will treat the children. I heard from a friend next door that he met that great aunt. What if you find such an unreliable nanny?
Then we have to consider the baby's rations. What does the baby drink after mom goes to work? If you want to insist on breastfeeding, your mother should prepare all kinds of milking tools every day and hold the milk up and down hard. If you choose to let your baby drink milk powder during the day because of insufficient breast milk, you should also choose the brand of milk powder in advance to see if your baby can accept it. Some babies are used to breast milk, and once they find that the bottle tastes wrong, they refuse to take a second sip anyway. Mother's heart will be broken when she meets such a stubborn baby.
A few days ago, a mother who had just returned to the workplace told me that the baby had been breastfeeding, because when the baby was more than a month old, she tried several bottles and the baby could accept them, so she didn't take it to heart. As a result, on her first day at work, the family put breast milk in a bottle to feed the baby, and the baby didn't drink it at all. She didn't drink a drop of milk all day, until she came home at night and found a familiar nipple, and the baby began to gulp. Looking at the baby, the mother felt very guilty. In addition, after work, the baby's work and rest, eating, drinking, sleeping and other issues also require the mother to arrange everything in order to go to work with peace of mind. Even if many mothers are fully prepared, they will still have deep guilt and self-blame until the moment they go out. If a crying child is left at work, the mother will feel heartache, and when she hears the baby crying on the phone, the mother will also blame herself. Even if she hears the baby's little progress, she will feel guilty-because she can't accompany the child to witness this happy moment. If the baby has a little problem, then the mother's guilt and self-blame are basically bursting. After returning to the workplace, the biggest problem the mother has to face is that the baby is not with her. A mother told me that since she left her baby with her grandmother at work, she felt that her baby had alienated herself. Although the mother-in-law takes good care of the baby, the baby sleeps with her mother-in-law at night, but the baby sticks to her mother-in-law all day. When the mother comes home, sometimes she wants to hug the baby, but the baby will cry and shout, as long as it is grandma, it seems that grandma is the real mother. This kind of discomfort is not unique to this mother, and almost every mother who returns to the workplace will encounter such a dilemma. Because almost every baby will behave like this, he is closer to the person who takes him, but alienated from his mother. I think, I work hard to keep my children around, and I submit to humiliation in the company just to give them a better future. As a result, who would have thought that the baby would feel like a stranger when he saw his mother, and there was no intimacy at all. How can such a result not make his mother sad? And even in the hard-won leisure time, taking the baby for a walk in the community, the mother's heart must be strong enough to withstand the stimulation. Parents of children of the same age only know the baby but don't know you. The topics we chat together are all about children, ranging from children's diet, what complementary food to eat, what milk powder to drink, what brand of clothes to wear, what diapers to use, to where to take children to play, what early childhood classes to choose, and talking with other mothers Kan Kan. We know everything clearly, except ourselves. We seem to have crossed back from another era and know nothing. Under such pressure, working mothers will fall into the deep remorse of "I am not a good mother" again and again. Guilt and entanglement are like two mountains weighing me down. It's not over yet!
Another identity of a working mother is a clerk. If you want to get a salary from your boss, you must do a good job in your own account book. However, due to the adjustment of hormones after childbirth, people themselves will have problems such as decreased memory, slow brain response and low efficiency. Coupled with caring for the baby, absent-minded, there are often things that the boss tells. As soon as I turned my head, I forgot that the dead line given by my boss had not been completed for a long time. Many times, even if you try your best to make progress, you can't take care of it. Looking at the leader's face stinks worse than the toilet! Listening to the boss's various accusations, even if there is no amount of pain and injustice in my heart, I can only swallow it silently. After all, you have to get your own salary. If you don't care about wages, who would want to leave an immature baby here to enjoy leisure? ! Because of children, even if you want to change jobs, it is a dilemma. A mother told me that finding a new job recently is a good opportunity for her, because in the current company, she has reached the bottleneck of her position and it is difficult to further rise. And this opportunity can make her by going up one flight of stairs. The only thing that makes her hesitate is that her current job is close to home, relatively idle, and she can go home from work on time every day to accompany her children. After going to the new unit, the road is still long, and I have to work overtime, so I will spend much less time with my children. She wants to spend more time with her children and seize this new opportunity, so she doesn't know what to do. There used to be an article "My wife has no job", which exploded the circle of friends and wrote about the bitterness of stay-at-home mothers. But how many people can understand the bitterness of working mothers? All the pain and sadness in my heart can't be said to anyone, but swallowed silently. The saddest thing is that there is no way to share this heartache with anyone, because no one will understand your predicament. But no matter what your decision is, no matter how much guilt and remorse you have inside. When you really decide to return to the workplace, you must choose to let go, let go of all entanglements, and let go of all self-blame and guilt. Entanglement, guilt and remorse will only make you more miserable, and will only deepen your guilt and disgust for yourself. This will not only make your mood worse and worse, but also harm your children. Because the younger the baby, the closer it is to the mother's heart. Your guilt will be accepted by the child and become his remorse. He will feel that his birth ruined his mother's life. This is very harmful to your mother-child relationship. This kind of guilt will be felt by relatives around you. Your husband will also blame himself for not being able to let you leave your children and go out to work. Your mother or mother-in-law who helps you take care of your children will also blame herself, thinking that you can't work with peace of mind because she didn't take care of her children.
So instead of making everyone unhappy, let nature take its course. There is no right or wrong in life. It doesn't matter whether you are a full-time baby-sitter at home or a busy working mother. You are responsible for your choice. Who says women can't work while loving their children? Find your own value at work, accompany your children wholeheartedly and care for them after work. This is another better way to love children. Work is not an obstacle to being a good mother. On the contrary, working mothers should actively face their work, stick to their own values and let their children thrive in a more relaxed and happy atmosphere! Of course, we must grasp the degree of work. No matter how busy the work is, don't let the children become left-behind children. Don't let grandparents take their children back to their hometown for any reason before they are 2 years old. No matter how busy they are every day, they should spend some time with their children. Maybe it's just a hug, a smile and a loving gaze, which will also make children feel their mother's deep love and leave a deep mark on their subconscious.