How Zeng Guofan Educates Children
One: Teach by example.
He asked his eldest son to get up before dawn every day to sweep the yard, and then went back to his room to practice calligraphy 1000. What is the first word? Frugality? . When I was eating, I once met a shell, so my son picked it out and put it on the table. Zeng Guofan saw nothing, silently picked it up, peeled off the shell and ate the rice inside. The influence of example is naturally better than words. A simple action can be understood by children without a long speech or even a word? Every grain is hard? The truth.
Accordingly, I remembered two stories about eating cakes in Tang Yulin. After the banquet of Emperor Taizong, Yuwen Shi wiped the gravy on his hands with bread. Emperor Taizong didn't speak, just looked at him with his eyes. I smell like a thorn in his body, eating bread with gravy. In the Tang Xuanzong generation, the story was staged again. This time, it was Prince Hengli who wiped his hands with bread. I don't know what Hengli is thinking. Under the gaze of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, he actually shoveled the wiped bread.
Seeing this story, I didn't feel much touched inside. Because both Emperor Taizong and Emperor Xuanzong used Emperor Wei Long to deter officials and make them eat cakes with soup, but why didn't the emperor think about it? Why do officials and sons wipe their hands with cakes? Is it because no one served them to wash their hands at the banquet in the palace of the Tang Dynasty, or because eunuchs and maids have no eyes and don't know whether to hand towels to their masters? It is because they don't care, don't cherish, and naturally act subconsciously. Just because you were frightened by the dragon face, you changed your original intention and barely ate it? Towels? Cake, I'm not happy. What's more, the emperor Xuanzong himself was extravagant. In Wan Li, not far from BMW Liangju, it cost more than 1000 yuan to transport litchi to Guifei. How much is bread worth? How much food and clothes do people have?
Therefore, superficial efforts to make a show will not really play an educational role. ? It is better to suffer less than to be old and poor. ? Be a man and cherish your blessings. This is? Cherish happiness? Two words? Fu? In ancient times, it was used to refer to wine and meat sacrificed to gods, and also to food. Cherishing blessings begins with cherishing food. Thinking every day is better than thinking all the time. Therefore, educating children to appreciate hardships, know how to endure hardships and be diligent is the most important part of character education.
Two: Keep your word, improper behavior should not only be criticized in time, but also corrected immediately.
? The son is poor and the daughter is rich; The son is thick and the daughter is thin? This is a very popular view now. One hundred years ago, Zeng Guofan not only strictly educated his son, but also severely disciplined his daughter. One year, my little daughter followed her mother to visit her father in the Governor's Office of Liangjiang and entered the Governor's Office for the first time. The youngest daughter felt that it should not be too shabby, so she put on a blue silk jacket and green lace pants. When Zeng Guofan saw it, he felt that the lace embroidered on the corner of trousers was exquisite and complicated, and he was very unhappy. He criticized his daughter? Too luxurious and too bright? And immediately let her daughter change a pair of trousers without lace. Not to mention, in fact, in those days, it was a common thing for ladies of bureaucratic families to wear some lace dresses, which was not a luxury. Let's say that parents think that their children have done something wrong, and they should not only correct it in time, but also let them correct it immediately. We may not have noticed this. We are more? Pay attention next time? ,? Don't do it again? Even if we all know? Timely rectification? It is more effective to establish a correct view on children and develop good habits.
Three: check whether there are requirements.
When he was transferred to another city, Zeng Guofan personally booked a schedule for his daughter-in-law and daughters, which was divided into four things. One thing to eat: make side dishes, snacks, wine sauce and the like after breakfast; Two clothes: at noon, spinning flowers or making hemp; Three seiko: do needle embroidery and the like after lunch; Four rough jobs: make shoes or sew clothes after one-time engraving until the end of the second shift. He was afraid that after he left home, his daughters and daughters-in-law could not effectively implement it, so he wrote a paragraph after his homework: Men in my family are indispensable for reading and writing, and women are indispensable for food, clothing, housing and transportation. I have been teaching for many years, but I have never made certain rules. I'm going to the north to hold my breath, so I'm going to take this day shift, so I asked my wife to supervise me and test my work myself. Food is inspected once a day, clothing is inspected once every three days, and rough workers are inspected once a month. ? Besides, the daughter-in-law and daughter also want it? A pair of men's shoes and a pair of women's shoes must be made every month. After I returned to Jiangning, I took it as a big inspection. ? There are requirements, inspections, words, and words. This is the way Zeng Guofan taught his son. Later, his son Ceng Jize was good at poetry, calligraphy and painting, and taught himself English, becoming a famous diplomat in the late Qing Dynasty. He also made considerable achievements in the study of ancient mathematics. His grandchildren also produced poets like Zeng Guangjun. Great-grandchildren have produced scholars and educators like Zeng Zhaolun and Yuenong Zeng.
Many times, after we have children, we really realize the great responsibility of being parents. Naturally, I will work harder in the workplace and business wars and try my best to accumulate a solid economic foundation for my children. Our diligent maintenance of personal communication and social relations also paves the way for the growth of our children. We hope that if we pay more, our children will experience less ups and downs and grow up more smoothly.
However, sometimes ideas and results are often the opposite. The more you give, the more you think, but the space for children to grow up is limited and their abilities are in the hands of their parents? Overprotection? The bottom is weakened.
Compare Zeng Guofan's famous words about parenting: All aristocratic children have the same food, clothing, housing and transportation as the poor, and a few ordinary people can achieve great things. ?
Zeng Guofan, a very humane minister, asked his children to be as basic as a poor scholar. In our opinion, it is harsh and even inhuman, but it is the most precious for the growth of children. Zeng Guofan left a 16-character famous saying about running a family:? If you are frugal, you will prosper; If you are diligent, you will be healthy; If you can be thrifty, you will never be poor. ? That's what he said, even more so. When it comes to children? Early education? The problem is that everyone is used to looking abroad and learning advanced theories from Europe and America. In fact, in ancient China, there are many classic and effective educational cases and viewpoints, which are worthy of our profound reflection and reference.