Methods/steps
Method 1: cut-off type:
The effort of will is combined with cutting off contact.
Habit cultivation requires a certain amount of will effort, but it is not enough to rely solely on will control, because children's will power is limited, and it is necessary to combine will effort with separation.
Cutting off contact also includes cutting off contact with stimuli. Bad behavior exists because it is surrounded by strong chemicals. Without the stimulation of objective environment, bad behavior is difficult to happen. For example, in order to change the habit of eating snacks, we should avoid the appearance of snacks and take some measures to prevent children from taking pocket money and not buying snacks. It takes a long time to get into the habit of not eating snacks.
Many habits consist of a series of behaviors. Before a bad habit, there is often a leading event or behavior, which may not be a bad thing, but it has a direct impact on the formation of bad habits. To overcome bad habits, we need to cut off the connection between them and leadership behavior. For example, some children start watching TV as soon as they finish eating at home, and they are reluctant to leave when watching TV. When they started doing their homework, it was too late, so their homework was sloppy. To correct this bad habit of children, it is necessary to cut off the connection between this series of actions. Parents neither turn on the TV nor allow their children to turn on the TV, so as to avoid the following behavior.
In the process of educating children, breaking contact also includes breaking contact with people with bad habits. Some bad habits are sometimes influenced by children's classmates and friends, so parents should try to cut off their children's contact with them, which is conducive to correcting their bad habits.
Method 2, check type:
Combination of inspection, supervision and self-evaluation.
Just asking and not checking equals not asking. Inspection is the central link, which must be adhered to frequently. For example, in order to let children form the habit of folding their own quilts every morning, parents should check whether their children's quilts are folded well every day, and correct them in time if they find that they are unqualified, so that training plays a supervisory role in forming good habits for children. However, inspection is an external force after all, and the formation of good habits must rely on internal factors. Therefore, parents should combine inspection and supervision with self-evaluation and attach importance to children's self-evaluation. Self-evaluation is the source of strength for children's progress. Only by recognizing whether one's behavior is correct can one have a strong motivation to beautify one's behavior.
Method 3, exciting:
Combining stimulating children's interest with strict training
In training, I emphasize "hard training" and advocate not being afraid of hardship and annoyance. However, only parents' strictness without children's enthusiasm will often lead to "rebellious emotions", and children will hate habit cultivation and avoid habit cultivation in excessive restrictions.
Therefore, we must pay attention to mobilizing children's enthusiasm and subjective initiative in training. It is necessary to cultivate habits according to children's nature and personality, and combine "hard training" with "happy training".
It is necessary to increase certain playfulness in training, so that the training forms can be diversified and become a pleasant activity process. If you learn to use polite language, parents can choose the form of sketch performance; You can also combine stories, fairy tales, children's songs, music and other forms to let children receive behavior training in a pleasant, lively and interesting atmosphere, so as to achieve twice the result with half the effort.
Method 4, modification:
Combination of repeated reinforcement and active guidance
Find a good breakthrough when combing. Children are very different, so are the methods of education. Only the right one is the best. For example, some children don't like to wash their hands and pay attention to hygiene. What parents say is useless. Parents find that this child especially likes reading science fiction stories, so they use this feature to guide them and tell them some science fiction stories related to health knowledge, so that children can gradually develop the habit of talking about health while meeting their needs.
Family education is a long-term project, educating children is by no means a day's work, and correcting bad habits is not a matter of three times five divided by two, and it must be strengthened repeatedly. But simple intensive training takes a long time, and children become bored. Therefore, intensive training should be combined with active counseling, especially for children who have developed bad habits, we should seize the positive factors and patiently guide them to the right track.
In order to find a breakthrough, parents of early education centers should carefully observe their children's strengths, hot spots and excitement. Parents can hide their educational intentions and let their children receive education unconsciously.
Method five. Agreement:
The child's self-control is combined with fulfilling the agreement.
Habit cultivation needs children's self-control, but children's self-control is not strong and needs certain constraints, so parents must combine self-control with fulfilling the agreement. Conclude a parent-child agreement with your child. With the agreement, there is a certain binding force and the goal of struggle.
Parent-child agreement generally consists of five basic parts, namely, determining the goal, stipulating the supervision mode, determining the validity period of the behavior, determining the reward and punishment provisions, and signing by both parties to the contract. Pay attention to the following points when making parent-child agreement:
1. Parents should set an example, conscientiously implement the agreement by themselves, and cultivate their children's integrity.
2. The contents of the agreement should be simple and specific, and easy to implement and check.
3, the agreed standards should not be too high, and children should work hard to achieve it. That is, "I can't reach out and touch it, but I can pick it with a jump."
Once the agreement is reached, it must be implemented. The central link is inspection. Parents and children should supervise and check each other.
5. At the same time, the parent-child agreement needs "clear rewards and punishments". If you do well, you need rewards, and if you violate the agreement, you need corresponding punishment.
Method 6: Gradually:
Be strict with children and combine them step by step.
It is necessary to gradually increase the difficulty according to the child's situation. Children don't like to talk, the first stage of training: Dad is a teacher, children and mothers are "students", answer the questions raised by the "teacher", children can be rewarded with one point for raising their hands once, and a total of 20 points can be exchanged for a grand prize. The second stage: the mother is a "teacher", calling her children's school deskmate home, simulating class with the children and answering the questions raised by the "teacher". The third stage: change the "teacher" into the father's colleague. After three stages of training, the children's points have become grand prizes, and they dare to speak in class. The characteristic of step by step is to cultivate the target behavior unchanged (the habit of speaking out), but the training difficulty is gradually increasing. The child's goal behavior has been tested and challenged, and finally he dares to speak in class.
Train children to be strict, but not impatient. Don't make it in one step, haste makes waste. The best way is to combine strict requirements with gradual progress.
Method seven. Decomposition formula:
Combine clear requirements with specific guidance.
The requirements for children in training should be clear. To make children develop good hygiene habits, we should teach them how to brush their teeth, wash their faces, wash their feet, fold quilts, sweep the floor and so on. We should also combine clear requirements with specific guidance. Just asking for no guidance equals empty requirements, especially for young children.
Some behavior requirements with complex operation process can be guided by decomposition operation. For example, when learning to wash handkerchiefs and socks by hand, it is divided into five steps: soaking, wiping, scrubbing, rinsing and drying. In this way, the child can easily grasp the essentials and be impressed.
In the process of early education, parents' guidance can be extended to a wider range. Nowadays, the "life course" abroad is to teach children the knowledge of daily life, which can be carried out through decomposition.
Eight, experience:
Combine practical exercise with beautiful experience.
Parents should try their best to make their children have a correct experience at the same time. For example, children help their mothers wash dishes. In the process of washing dishes, if parents don't guide them, children may only experience greasy hands and feel uncomfortable, and may not want to wash dishes again in the future. But if parents immediately praise their children's behavior: "Oh, I am not afraid of being dirty and tired, great!" Children will experience a kind of happiness and satisfaction from the emotional expression of their mother's happiness. If this kind of happiness and satisfaction exceeds the pain in the act of washing dishes, children will continue to wash dishes for their mothers in the future, and may further develop a good habit of hard work.
Makarenko once said that there is a "gap" between students' thoughts and behaviors, which needs to be filled by practice. Only through practice can we experience and feel, cultivate feelings and promote "success" with feelings.
Nine, integral:
Usually praise and bonus points for children are combined.
Whenever children behave well, if parents can praise them in time, children will greatly enhance the probability of this behavior. However, if every time and every good behavior of a child is praised, the child will often be exhausted, and frequent praise has little effect on the child. We can use the integral system to solve this problem. Children can get a score for every good behavior, and when they accumulate to a certain amount, they can get some kind of reward. Integral method can play a long-term role and is very beneficial to cultivate habits.
There are many training methods. We should teach students in accordance with their aptitude and adopt different training methods according to their different ages and personalities. This will get twice the result with half the effort.
X. restrictive types:
The combination of discipline and self-requirement.
Developing good habits requires both internal willpower and external compulsion. Children's consciousness is not high, and it is impossible to form good habits by relying solely on consciousness. The necessary discipline is very important.
"National law, family rules", families must make family rules to restrain their children's behavior. At the same time, we should combine discipline with self-demand and advocate children's self-demand and self-education. Encourage children to write down the mistakes that are easy to make and stick them in the pencil box to remind themselves at all times, so that children can stick famous sayings and aphorisms at home to remind themselves.