Why doesn't Han Han want to live with his parents? You know, he was only 17 years old. It is still difficult for teenagers of that age to take care of themselves completely.
Judging from various signs, Han Han's strong rebellious character, which was shown in his youth and I'm afraid it will not disappear completely in his life, is closely related to family education. Although today, from the utilitarian point of view, some people may think that Han Han can become today's Han Han largely because of his strong personality, but from the general law of the personality growth of ordinary teenagers, it is obvious that we can not easily give full affirmation to Han Han's parents' parenting style.
Judging from the situation reflected in Son Han Han, the main reason why Han Han once left home and lived alone after dropping out of school was that Han Han and his parents could not "adapt to the new life" in time. [1] But this statement also reflects that Han Han does not recognize the strict discipline of his parents. Han Han's parents have high requirements for Han Han's moral personality since childhood. For example, when Han Han was 3 years old, he once went to a neighbor's strawberry field to eat some strawberries without permission and was fined for a long time. [2] "Since junior high school, due to academic problems, the relationship between Han Han and his family has gradually revealed a tense side." At that time, the Han family often staged such a drama: "He failed in the exam and fled in front, Han Ren chased behind, and his neighbors pulled behind." [3] Han Han's prose "From the Sea" and Han Fu's "Son Han Han" both recorded his second senior year from different angles. After quarreling with the Chinese teacher, Han Han went home and was reprimanded by his parents, so that he ran away from home and slept at the petrochemical seaside. In Zhou Libo's talk show, Han Han admitted that his parents often beat him when he was a child: "Dad beat him, but his mother also beat him. ..... Actually, my parents still love me very much. At first, they hit me on the head ... then they thought they might be stupid and twisted their hips. " [4]
Although the old saying that "a stick kills a dutiful son" was once again verified by Han Han, objectively speaking, Han Han's parents lacked strategies for Han Han's stick education at that time, and Han Han's rebellious character was more or less related to his parents' improper discipline in adolescence. Researchers believe: "It is human nature to hope for success, and it is understandable to have high hopes. However, it is undoubtedly harmful to exert intense pressure on children. It not only makes children live in a horrible and depressing atmosphere for a long time, but also seriously affects their normal study. It will also make children's personality develop abnormally, and make them either become Nuo Nuo-style imbeciles under high pressure or be as cruel and rebellious as their parents. [5]
Han Han seldom mentioned his parents on various occasions, which is obviously not explained by avoiding hurting his parents. The parents of characters in Han Han's novels are rarely seen, which can't be explained by the unnecessary plot. Art comes from life and is higher than life. Interpersonal relationship plays an important role in the author's life experience, but it is often unconsciously transplanted into novels by the author to varying degrees. This is inevitable. The Jia family in Cao Xueqin's Dream of Red Mansions, the Li and Gao families of Ba Jin's family in Family Spring and Autumn Annals, the relationship between Lawrence and his mother, and the mother-child relationship of the characters in Sons and Lovers all have different degrees of corresponding transplantation. The rarity of parents' images in Han Han's novels not only reflects his background of living independently from home since childhood, but also reflects his own avoidance of parents' relationship. Praising parents and elders is not in line with his own experience and psychology, and irony or accusation will hurt parents. In order to avoid being seated in the right place, Han Han rarely wrote about his parents behind the triple gate, and even created a free and rootless image without father or mother in Chang 'an Luan.
However, before continuing to analyze related issues, three premises need to be clarified: First, Han Han should not be responsible for the disharmony between parents and teenagers. At that time, Han Han was still a child who could not be fully responsible for his thoughts and actions. Even when he gained considerable personal independence, his thoughts and behavior patterns were the products of past experience, and he still could not be responsible for some behaviors. Second, it is also unsympathetic to accuse Han Han's parents of neglecting Han Han's education. Any personal tragedy is a social tragedy to some extent. Even if Han Han's parents are not properly brought up, it is not groundless. They also live in society and tradition and are influenced by social culture. The purpose of trying to restore the real history here is only to enhance everyone's understanding of Han Han. Third, although Han Han's parents have problems with Han Han's upbringing in adolescence, it doesn't mean that they don't love Han Han. There are too many things that love turns into harm. Han Han's rebellion and dissatisfaction with his parents, and even the satire and ridicule of his parents in Triple Door, do not mean that Han Han is unfilial, disrespectful and incomprehensible.
As far as Han Ren-jun, Han Han's father, is concerned, his negative influence on Han Han is more realized through words and deeds. We mentioned the difficulties of Han Han's family when he was a teenager. In the existing social environment where men are mainly responsible for supporting the family, this difficulty will be considered to be the result of Han's father's incompetence to a great extent, thus greatly weakening his prestige in the family.
In family education, the father's lack of prestige has a serious impact on children. First of all, children mistakenly believe that resistance and rebellion are always correct and will inevitably win, and they lack a sense of identity with authority and rules; Secondly, when they apply this experience to society, they are likely to encounter setbacks because they can no longer enjoy the love given by their parents, which may lead to psychological problems; Third, when he enters the society, he often assumes that he is a person, and he is different from others. Lack of backing and support will also cause negative psychological problems such as insecurity. Finally, there is an additional influence on boys, that is, they can't learn how to be a man and how to maintain masculinity from family life.
Of course, we should also pay attention to the fact that a father does not have enough authority, which does not mean that he must be a sheep. Compared with teenagers, adults are always relatively powerful. In fact, fathers who lack enough prestige are more inclined to use violence to control their wives and families in the family. Lu Xun's father was deprived of the right to be an official because his grandfather cheated in the examination room. He had no fame and was unhappy all his life. He was extremely tyrannical at home from time to time and was extremely strict with young Lu Xun. Naturally, the tyranny of a father who lacks actual power, with the gradual growth of his son, can only lead to the deterioration of the relationship between father and son, especially when a relatively strong mother participates in the romance of the Three Kingdoms from time to time.
Compared with Han Han's father's lack of prestige, Han Han's mother Zhou is a woman with strong personality. For example, Han Han's mother especially likes cleanliness, and Han Han's children in adolescence are very casual about it, so the mother and son often have some contradictions. [6] Han Han once said that he is a neat person at heart, which is probably the influence of his mother. Han Han, a sophomore in high school, ran away from home and slept at the petrochemical seaside, mainly because he was scolded by his mother. [7] Lin Yuxiang has the shadow of Han Han everywhere in the triple gate. By analogy, Lin Yuxiang's mother should also have the shadow of Han Han's mother. This, Han Han himself admitted. [8] The humorous description of Lin's mother in Triple Door can provide a reference for us to understand Han Han's mother:
Mother Lin studied liberal arts in junior college before, so she should have a bright future. She accidentally made the most common mistake of a talented woman and married a man who was more talented than her. Family is like a mountain, both sides have to climb hard, and only one person can stand on the top. More importantly, home is like a mountain, and it is difficult to accommodate two tigers in one mountain. Once two tigers face each other, they must be divided by fierce fighting. Usually, men will use non-academic things such as fists to solve disputes. Therefore, behind a failed woman, there will always be a successful man. Fu Lin and Lin Mu once had conflicts and wanted a divorce. Thanks for the birth of Song Wu. Xiang is cute and smart. They turned their hatred for each other into love for their children. In addition, Lin's interests have also changed. After fulfilling a woman's noblest mission, God gave her the talent to play mahjong. She goes out late and comes back late to play mahjong every day. It's okay. Couples fight less. [9]
In addition, Lin Yuxiang spent money to enter Nansan No.3 Middle School through relationships, which also depended on her mother's interpersonal relationship.
According to psychologist Adler, "if the father is very grumpy and wants to control other members of the family, boys will have a wrong view of the style that men should have." ..... If mother had more authority and nagged the rest of the family all day, this situation would be reversed. ..... Boys are always on the defensive, afraid of being criticized, and try their best to find opportunities to show their obedience and formality. " [10] This discussion actually provides clues for us to understand Han Han's dual personality. The dual particularity of Han Han's adolescent family growth environment, her father lacks prestige but is the head of the family after all, and her mother is a weak woman despite her dominant position in the family.
According to scholars' research, the fathers of Lu Xun, Wang Zengqi and Yu Hua were all very talented when they were young, but they failed to display their ambitions for various reasons. Later, with the growth of age, they gradually focused on training their sons, hoping that their sons could interpret dreams instead of themselves, so that they put forward very strict requirements for their children without exception. [1 1] Han Han's father was admitted to East China Normal University in his early years, but he missed it for various reasons. Studying in East China Normal University in the 1980s means that the dragon is worth a hundred times! It is not difficult to imagine that Mr. Han Renjun, who is so close to success, would like his son to dream of a university! To understand Han Han's strict early education, we can refer to Xiao Xiang's early education in Triple Door.
For the success of Han Han, Han Han's father supervised his study very strictly in primary school. This situation began to change after Han Han's junior high school. On the one hand, Han Han's self-awareness gradually formed and began to get out of control. On the other hand, it may be related to Han's father's limited educational experience and his inability to teach Han Han. On the one hand, strict early education may create conditions for the birth of gifted teenagers, on the other hand, it may also make children have some rebellious psychology towards education and authority; Especially when children spend more time with books, their social skills may be affected, or at least they will appear more introverted.
In a word, unhealthy interpersonal relationships in the family, inappropriate early education, regional strangeness and interpersonal estrangement brought about by relocation experience, and anxiety brought about by poor family background all work together to form the personality foundation of Han Han's relative insecurity in adolescence. Han Han's complex personality, which is both modest and shy and full of femininity, arrogant and fierce and full of masculinity, is the result of these factors. Paradoxically, however, this multifaceted and even contradictory personality may be the origin of talented artists and writers.
Nick MacDonald, an American writer, once said in his novel Brothers Who Don't Exist that the unfortunate family life in adolescence is the best environment for cultivating writers. In this sense, Han Han is indeed a born writer. Han Han's complex personality, sometimes introverted and thoughtful, sometimes sentimental, sometimes laughing and cursing, and sometimes cynical, is generally not suitable for making a living and living, but it is very beneficial for him to become a writer who takes writing his heart as his responsibility. He has many feelings to say.
★ Han Han Tips:
Being an amateur parent is bound to mislead people's children and unconsciously set an example, which has a great influence on their character growth. So one day, as parents, we must pay attention to each other and the way we interact with our children. First of all, we should meet their material needs as much as possible, and try not to let them bear the financial pressure of their families too early, so that they will not feel that their families are inferior to others, nor will they feel that they are inferior to others among teenagers of the same age; At the same time, parents should maintain each other's prestige in family life, don't quarrel and fight in front of teenagers, and let teenagers learn to respect authority and rules and learn the correct way of communication; Moreover, in particular, we can't replace education with simple and rude beatings, which makes children more and more relaxed and produces rebellious and unruly characters.
[1] Han: It's my first time out of town. My son Han, Wanjuan Publishing Company, 2008, p. 69-7 1.
[2] Dolly: "Han Han H Files", Wanjuan Publishing Company, 20 10 edition, p. 3.
[3] Chen Ming: The witness remembers Han Han: He walked through the trough and glory of high school in this way, Southern Weekend, February 12, 17.
[4]: "One Korea", Oriental TV 20 10 February 16.
[5] Li Zhenbin, Li: A Survey of Problem Children in China, beijing institute of technology press, 2006, pp. 14 1, 142.
[6] Han: "My first time out of town", "My son Han Han", Wanjuan Publishing Company, 2008, p. 70.
[7] Han: "From Repetition to Dropout", "Son of Han Han", Wanjuan Publishing Company, 2008, p. 60.
[8] Meng: "Han Han", Huayi Publishing House, 200 1 Edition, p. 62.
[9] Han Han: "Triple Gate", Wanjuan Publishing Company, 20 10 edition, p. 5.
[10] Adler: Beyond inferiority complex, International Culture Publishing Company, 2005, p. 13 1 p.
[1 1] Xia Yongwei: An Unfinished Mission —— A Study of Revenge Novels by Lu Xun, Wang Zengqi and Yu Hua, Anhui Literature (second half of 2009),No. 1.
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