As a result, more and more women in the workplace have returned to their families, become full-time housewives, arrange various cram schools and interest classes for their children, and pin their unfinished dreams on their children.
In fact, children are not our works, let alone our "handicrafts".
In the field of education, Mr. Zhang Hua, the founder of Junior Business School, who serves parents and children in China by telling stories and consulting, has cultivated children's playful mentality by reforming and grafting international educational concepts in Europe and America, so that China children can be enlightened in thinking and ability, broaden their horizons and fall in love with learning and life. In his new book "The World is Our Classroom", he said: "Parents who are truly intelligent should uphold the concept of" Let their children second class of guangdong ". "
Disassembly has the following three meanings.
? The first is the "finish line", that is, starting from the finish line, aiming at cultivating children's ability to perceive and pursue a happy life.
? The second is "winning". Who will win? Win yourself. Win what? Win rich knowledge, improve ability and perfect personality.
? The third is to "let the children", that is, hold hands in time, let go at the right time, and dare to let the children be themselves.
From the finish line, let the child second class of guangdong.
In the past summer vacation, I took my children back to my hometown in the countryside. Children play together and let their nature go. What they see is the laughter of childhood.
I've been home for years, but I can't see my children. As soon as I know, children are now in interest classes and cram schools in the summer vacation. I won't be back until evening.
This is probably the general situation of children now.
Many parents say that the college entrance examination is a stepping stone for children to a broader future. If we seize this opportunity, we can avoid detours in life.
As a result, parents began to let their children put their grades first from an early age. Later, the country advocated quality education, and parents reported all kinds of classes to their children non-stop, from kindergarten classes to interest classes to cram schools. Children's childhood is spent in the sea of books.
This kind of education can really improve children's grades, but have you found that teenagers' depression is getting more and more serious and psychological problems are increasing? The reason is that our parents are eager for success and only pay attention to their children's achievements, while ignoring their mental growth.
If someone asks, "Do you want your child to pursue satisfactory grades or do you want him to have a happy life?"
The answer is self-evident. The ability to give children a happy life is our ultimate goal.
So what exactly should we do? In the book, the author said that children should be all-round people, with the identity of "global citizens", reading and expression skills, information technology and mathematics skills, adaptability and exploration skills, analysis and creativity, leadership and teamwork skills, psychological habits, kindness and honesty.
First of all, the author thinks that efficient use of study time is more important than "diligence". It is more important to have characteristics than to study well. All smart parents are training their children in the direction of "new T-type talents".
In "T", "-"stands for breadth and "|" stands for depth. That is, children have both the breadth of knowledge and the depth of thinking; Both interdisciplinary thinking and problem-solving ability; We can not only open cooperation, but also break through ourselves.
They are good at reading, read a lot, read a wide range, can express themselves accurately and clearly, communicate with people, have super speculative ability, have the ability of multidisciplinary integration, and practice in life.
On the evening of February 7th, 20 17, 16-year-old Wu Yishu successfully won the second season finals of CCTV's Chinese Poetry Conference. What we didn't know was that on June 23rd, 20 19, the results of Shanghai college entrance examination were announced, and Wu Yishu was admitted to Tsinghua with a score of 6 13 (660 in Shanghai college entrance examination). She is also a master of science.
Even if there are many children who meet the characteristics of T-type teenagers and fail to enter their ideal universities through the college entrance examination, if they have and maintain these qualities, these children still have a greater chance to stand out in the future society.
Lifelong growth, so that children continue to surpass themselves.
Let children second class of guangdong, but also adhere to the principle of long-term, respect children's personality, so that children have a complete childhood, a free, exploratory, lively and creative childhood.
This is a growing process, which requires parents to develop the habit of lifelong growth, and then guide and influence their children.
If parents don't have the habit of reading, but want to force their children to read and tell them the value of reading, it is obviously powerless. The best parenting rule is that parents set an example and practice, which is powerful.
For example, parent-child reading is not only about parents and children sitting together to read or parents reading to children, nor is it just about children reading to parents, or parents and children build a parent-child interaction scene and atmosphere that integrates reading, brainstorming, games, expression and even performance through a book or a theme.
Encourage children to perform the core plot in the book together through gamification, and guide children to output ideas through family debate. If the children are older, they can also get twice the result with half the effort through exploratory reading methods such as parent-child travel and family planning.
If children want their parents to accompany them in reading, they should cultivate their interest in the theme of the book. No matter what the theme is, in fact, in addition to reading, other interests, including sports and parent-child companionship, also follow this principle.
Every child's personality and hobbies are different, and the books he chooses, as well as the methods and behaviors of inquiry reading will be different.
In this case, our parents must be patient, create a family reading atmosphere and cultivate children's reading habits.
Although Mr. Zhang is usually very busy, he takes his time and guides the children step by step. Firstly, analyze this demand, and then start with the child's zodiac rabbit and ask the child what the rabbit looks like. His children said the rabbit was crazy, so they decided on the theme of crazy rabbit.
Next, after determining the protagonist of the story, Mr. Zhang guided the children to describe the protagonist's appearance, personality, strengths, weaknesses, dreams and so on. And tell him that different characteristics will lead to different plots.
But the child was stuck at this level, so the teacher and the child closed their eyes together, described a scene and led him to explore together, so the child had a series of characteristics of crazy rabbits.
Finally, when talking about raving rabbids's dream, he once again chose to close his eyes with his children and continue to explore in the scene just described. When the child said that raving rabbids's dream was that the teacher did not deny the child's imagination with the eyes of adults, but encouraged him and told him that his dream was great.
When the child asked him if his dream for raving rabbids was a little crazy, the teacher told the child that the dream was to be crazy, not to mention its name was raving rabbids.
At the same time, tell children that dreams are something that may be laughed at by others, incredible and out of reach, but you just believe that you can do it.
Everyone and every animal may have dreams. What a great dream it is for a rabbit to become a Hercules and lift a big tree. You can also have this crazy dream. Maybe many years later, the story of raving rabbids you created today and the cartoon of raving rabbids you drew may be adapted into a movie. Maybe today is the beginning of your dream.
In this way, his children wrote seven stories on the theme of crazy rabbits, and the seventh story actually wrote more than 10000 words. The children also attached cartoons to his story to inspire them to make movies in the future.
The communication between a teacher and his son has actually gone beyond the scope of teaching him to write a composition, but has become an opportunity for parent-child communication and a creative journey to see the world from a child's perspective. Facts have proved that this has a good effect.
This is probably the so-called planting a seed, it will sprout and it will grow.
Therefore, the book says that the world is children's classroom, and a compulsory course for parents is to encourage and guide children to bravely open their hearts, express their ideas boldly, always be curious, have dreams in their hearts, have light in their eyes, explore, discover and create, which is the greatest help for children!
Let children be true to themselves.
"Hurry up, why are you so slow!" "Why did you desert to do other things again!" Why are you watching cartoons again? I haven't finished my homework yet. I just know how to play games. I haven't finished reading after class today! "Are these scenes familiar?
Some people say that parents have enough "complaints" about their children's self-discipline and can declare Guinness World Records.
In the book, Teacher Zhang said that frequent urging and scolding may make children learn to be helpless. Many parents have reversed the cause and effect. In most cases, it is not that children are too slow to cause parents' anxiety. On the contrary, it is the parents who are too anxious that cause the children to react too slowly.
Quality education enlightens people, not controls them.
Anxious parents always pass this emotion on to their children and force them to do things they don't like with practical actions, so the children's rebellious psychology makes them feel that it is a pleasant thing to fight against their parents, because who doesn't want to break free from the cage? Who wants to grow up in an almost suffocating environment?
So after 10 years of practice, the teacher summed up a set of "3D reverse self-discipline rules".
? Delay: Slow is fast.
? Danger: Dangerous safety.
? Direction: It is better to point out the direction than to give the method.
Among them, "slow is fast" is about fun, "danger is safety" is about boundaries, and "giving methods is better than pointing in the direction" is about confidence. The "3D reverse self-discipline rule" is not so much helping to cultivate children's self-discipline habits as breaking the misunderstanding of cultivating habits and reconstructing common sense.
The first thing parents should do is to accept their children's "slowness" and allow them to "delay" moderately. You can try to think of some ways to make work and study exude a rich atmosphere of entertainment and games. In this way, once children are immersed in the current "game", it is difficult to be inefficient.
For homework that children don't understand or often make mistakes, parents can also find a breakthrough from the perspective of "gamification". If children don't want their parents around, they must "hide" far away.
In the book, the teacher said that if he could be an invisible tutor, he would not be an on-site assistant. As long as there is adult command, it is not a game.
Secondly, the concept of "danger is safety" may make some parents and friends feel uncomfortable-I don't care about children, can children be self-disciplined?
During the lecture, the teacher told a story. There is a columnist named Lucy cavendish in the British Daily Mail. She is a mother, facing the same dilemma.
One day, she decided to do a "dangerous" thing: in a week, these four children can do whatever they want, and they don't have to listen to the discipline of adults-especially the noisy voices demanding their self-discipline. Not only that, adults should also try their best to meet and cooperate with children's requirements. She wants to see what will happen in the end.
As a result, in the first four days, the children tested their mothers in various ways. There were more and more unreasonable demands in the unrecognizable kitchen and messy home, but she agreed. It was not until the fifth day that the children really realized that their parents really allowed them to do whatever they wanted.
Then, the door of "hell" opened. "Can we stay up late if we like?" "Can we go to a bar for dinner?" "Can we have another puppy?" Endless demands followed.
Lucy agreed to all the requirements except those that might endanger their safety, including staying up late.
But Lucy will remind the children that if they are late the next morning, it is their own responsibility. Even when they get to school, they will be very, very sleepy.
Nevertheless, the children suggested that they should stay up late to watch movies. As a result, one child fell asleep on the sofa at night 1 1:30, and the other slept a little longer because he forced himself to stay awake until midnight.
On the sixth day, there was a magical phenomenon-autonomy. At first, after the alarm clock rang in the morning, the children were still very sleepy and could not stand. "I feel sick." The second son half opened his eyes and said in a daze.
"I warned you," Lucy said. "You got what you wanted, but you must know the consequences."
In order to get rid of drowsiness, the children decided to play video games! But they quarreled about the controller, and finally the third son beat his sister and got the controller. When the elder sister decided to fight back, the eldest son grabbed the controller and announced to his younger brothers and sisters that he would not play games.
On the seventh night, 10:00, the children sat in a circle and played puzzles together. Lucy announced that the family's week-long experiment was over.
"Are you? So soon, can we stay up late today? " The younger son asked. "no!" Lucy said. This is the first time she said "no" after seven days. So, they put away the puzzles and got up to wash and get ready for bed. Miraculously, after that, Lucy said "no" very slowly, but the children gradually became self-disciplined, without warning or even reminding.
When the mother resumed the experiment, she said with emotion, "When I stopped saying' no' to every request of the children, they had more fun and laughed more. I finally understand that I have set too many rules in their lives, which makes it more difficult for them to be self-disciplined and self-reliant, and also makes them not care enough about each other. They are used to finding loopholes in the rules. "
Therefore, for adults, self-discipline is free; For children, freedom is self-discipline.
When we give children more freedom and space and less demands and criticisms, children will be able to make wise decisions, become self-disciplined and take responsibility for their actions.
Smart parents will retreat and use their children's love to help their children establish and improve other relatively weak mental habits. Self-motivation and self-confidence are the engines of children's academic performance and innovation ability, and also the core of developing self-discipline habits.
In this process, parents can get on and off in time, control the boundaries, and let children and parents form benign communication and interaction.
Don't covet to reform children. Good parenting methods all point to one thing-dare to let children be themselves.
I hope all parents in the world can regard raising children as their own growth experience, learn more and practice more, so that their children can grow up freely and happily and become people who can face the future calmly in the future! # Let's study # # Reading # # National book recommender # # Education # # Parenting #