Wang Tao, the author of Rules and Love, opened a course called parenting in the United States. This sounds a bit funny. We have never studied this course. There is an old saying in China, "I have crossed more bridges than you, and I have eaten more salt than you." Some parents always use this kind of thinking to educate their children, but they don't know that being a parent requires not only modesty, but also learning.
In fact, there is no shortage of parenting classes now. The internet is full of all kinds of parenting content. Young parents will learn a lot of parenting experiences and methods as long as they search. But this only stays at the level of parenting. Parents have more important tasks, that is, educating their children, telling them how to behave, shaping their character through education, and guiding their hearts, which directly determine what kind of people their children will become and what kind of life they will lead in the future.
Learn to be a good parent, because parents who don't study don't know how to give their children this wealth at all. What should parents learn?
Learn to be a man first
Although our young parents or prospective parents are in their thirties, sometimes our thoughts don't grow with age. When we encounter difficulties, we will complain and shrink back. When we encounter difficulties, we will be angry and irritable. When we encounter a choice, we will hesitate and struggle. Even sometimes, we don't know the nature of life. We blindly think that we can feel happy if we earn a lot of money, live in a big house and drive a famous car. We see that others earn more than themselves and live better than themselves. We are jealous. We are afraid that our child will lose at the starting line, so we send him to an expensive early education class to stifle his childhood. We also don't know how to help our spouse grow old together, arguing about family chores in front of the children and hurting his fragile heart.
Our souls are dragged around by this anxious world, unable to find their place, unable to know who they are, what they can and can't do, and what they really want. They always regard what they don't have as what they want, pursue what they can never pursue, and lose the ability to perceive happiness.
I often see many people make a mess of their lives. I saw people around me in newspapers and on TV programs, so I deeply understand that our behavior determines what kind of life we live and what kind of children we can teach.
To learn to be a parent, you must first learn to be a man. If we miss the lesson of being a man since childhood, the arrival of our children will help us make up this lesson and learn to be a real adult who is rational, sober, kind to ourselves, open-minded and tolerant of others. Then we can teach our children well without learning too many parenting methods, because role models are often more influential than words.
Learn to be a parent and understand the essence of raising children.
Once I watched the bird flying among reeds on TV, and I was very moved. When the bird was a chicken, mom and dad flew into the cage with food in their mouths every day and fed the chicken mouth to mouth. When the chicks grow up, they begin to jump out of their cages, learn to slide among reeds, and stumble from one reed to another. The bird's parents are nearby, encouraging it with their eyes and flying in the face of danger.
I think this is the essence of raising children. The greatest thing about calf love is to let the child leave you one day. When he has wings and learns to fly, his parents will let him live his own life. If we just want to keep our children around, control their lives and use them to realize our unfulfilled dreams, then we are really worse than a bird.
Brain coffee point of view:
Now more and more parents are paying attention to the correct ways to raise their children. There are also many parents who learn to participate in parent-child classes to understand their children's psychology and prescribe the right medicine. However, are parents in a poor psychological state? Parents themselves are also angered by their children's temporary playfulness, which makes their mood worse and even punishes their children.
It doesn't mean that children can't fight or scold. We don't advocate the kind of education that is only gentle and loving, especially for preschool children, who need to be punished when they can't reflect on themselves.
But I hope that in the process of education, parents will adjust their mentality, otherwise it will easily form unreasonable oppression on their children. If parents are psychologically unhealthy, how can children be healthy?