Fortunately, after listening to this book, this sentence is not only a change in my attitude towards children's education, but also a healing of my mind for more than ten years.
Have a wrong attribution of one's failure.
I always feel that everything I do today is because my parents are not strict with me, so I need to be strict with my children so that they can have more choices in their later lives.
Friends around me know that I am very diligent and strict in educating my children. From 1 year-old, I will take my children to early education, learn English at 2 years old, and do official mathematics at 2 and a half years old. From then on, the nightmare era between me and my children began.
Why am I so strict with children? Shouldn't 2 years old be the age to play?
1, playing is a waste of time.
I bought many toys for my children, but each toy has certain educational significance. When a toy is endowed with educational significance, every time a child plays with a toy, I let the child play according to the meaning of the teaching aid, ignoring the opportunity to explore and explore the toy. Children's creativity and imagination are also limited, and their enthusiasm for playing with toys is also weakened.
For me, in my memory, I didn't have much companionship in my childhood, just watching TV and cartoons, so when I became a mother, I wanted to play with my children, but I didn't know what to say or do. I can only guide children mechanically with the help of teaching AIDS, without using the language that children know. I am more divergent in thinking, broadening their thinking angle, trying more and gaining more.
2. Learn and win at the starting line.
Learning is a lifetime thing. The earlier you start learning, the better for your child. In order to let children develop the habit of concentration and practice concentration, they signed up for early education courses. In order to let children learn English well and make English their mother tongue, they began to take their children to learn English at the age of 2. In order to let children learn mathematics and exercise their computing ability, we take them to learn official document mathematics. Everything, well-intentioned, even if I can't teach, but at least I signed up for the training class. Compared with children in big cities, our educational resources are relatively backward and the requirements are low, so we often implement children according to the training methods and standards in big cities, hoping that children will not fall behind the starting line.
Self-analysis, which actually has a very big relationship with myself. In my growing environment, my brothers and sisters are excellent. After studying, I was admitted to a good university and took root in a big city. I used to want to go to a big city, just like the big city elite in TV series. They work hard every day, but they can enrich, learn, grow and have an unknown life. However, due to my parents' arrangement, I have to stay in my hometown to work. My job is stable and my income is relatively abundant. I am very reluctant, but I can't deny that I can't live in such a big city. I know I am not good enough, so I have high hopes for my children. I hope that children are capable, good enough, have the ability to work hard in big cities, and have the right to choose to return to their hometown. Of course, there is another important point. My work in my hometown benefited from my parents, but I didn't give my children the ability to work stably, so I infinitely magnified my fears, leading to extreme paranoia about children's study.
I wonder how many parents are like me. Impose failures and erroneous summaries that you dare not face on your children under the guise of learning lessons?
A good life is a life with a strong sense of inner self and goal motivation!
I am very grateful to Mr. Fan Deng for inviting Mr. An Xin to explain "the leader who is far behind". Because of this sentence, I decided to change the child's parenting style. Fortunately, it was early enough, and I didn't continue to hurt them. I hope I can better accompany my children to grow up happily!