Introduction to # Baby # Maybe you don't know yet! Experts say that infancy is the fastest developing period of children's nervous system and the most critical period for developing various potentials, and it is indeed a good opportunity for education. According to the theory of sensitive period and brain development, the sensitive period of human information and ability development is concentrated in the first few years of life. This period is a unique and important development stage in a person's life, and it is also a window of opportunity for children's development and an opportunity for babies to gain wisdom. Smart baby, I believe, is something that Bao's father and Ma Bao are very concerned about. Nothing! What are you waiting for? Let's watch together! Don't call children stupid.

Sometimes we are in a hurry to get angry and may say to our children, "How can you be so stupid!" " Or "Are you a wooden head? "Whenever this hurts children's self-esteem, it will hurt their self-esteem and self-confidence and cast a shadow over their psychology. If this sentence becomes the mantra of parents, then a stupid child who has no opinion, no self-confidence and is dull may really be born.

Don't intimidate children.

Sometimes, for naughty, playful or persistent children, we may say, "If you don't listen, let the wolf eat you." Or "Why don't you run when the old demon comes?" Whenever these threats are uttered, they can really have short-term effects. But the psychological shadow it has caused to children is also huge, and some of them are even irreparable. Some children are afraid of strangers, darkness and solitude, which is probably caused by parents' threatening education when they were young.

Don't bribe children.

In some families, there are contradictions between husband and wife. In order to expand their power, everyone wants to win over their children and let them stand on their side, mostly by bribery. Some families also promise and bribe their children to get good grades or achieve other goals. For example, "I'll give you a reward for your good work" as an incentive. But this is really not a good idea.

The former kind of bribe will confuse the right and wrong of children and parents, which will often lead to the confusion of children's right and wrong concepts and is not conducive to the healthy development of children's body and mind. The latter kind of bribe will trigger the motivation of children to do things from the inside out. This is not conducive to children to set good learning goals. He studies not to improve himself, but for material rewards. When he doesn't need these rewards, his motivation is gone.

Don't overprotect and supervise children.

Excessive protection and supervision of children is a common problem for many parents. They always think that children are too young to be independent. Therefore, the protection of children in all aspects is all-round and predatory. However, such over-protection will dampen children's self-concept and weaken their autonomy. Because parents overprotect their children, they are actually telling their children: "You can't take care of yourself." If this goes on, it will create a child who has no ability to live independently, depends on his parents and is timid in everything. Therefore, we should take "as long as children can do it, they will never do it" as our motto. Only in this way can we cultivate children's self-care ability and innovative spirit, and cultivate high-quality talents that meet the needs of society.

Don't nag the children.

Nagging is a common problem of more than 80% parents, and it is also a shortcoming of parents who are disgusted by almost 100% children.

The reason why parents nag is because they feel that their children's performance in some aspects does not meet their own requirements, but they are afraid that their children will not pay attention to and correct them, so they always remind them of everything, thus forming the habit of nagging. And children just don't like their parents' behavior. They think it is enough to say one thing once, and there is no need to nag all the time. Too much nagging will make children feel that their parents think they have no ability to understand things. Over time, children will feel disgusted and even have a strong rebellious mentality. They will go against their parents and make things worse. In fact, explaining things to children in an orderly way will enhance their self-confidence and self-esteem. Therefore, parents should always remind themselves: don't nag.

Don't force children to obey blindly.

Forcing children to obey blindly is also a common problem for many parents. Its root is the feudal paternalism in our soul.

We often do things that don't respect children, go against their wishes, and even hurt them for their own good. We often force children to stop what they like and do something that is painful for children but important for parents. Many times, children have no right and freedom to choose, only blind obedience.

This will not only stifle the child's personality, but also deprive him of his ability to analyze, think, judge and choose. In this way, a child with ears and no head was born. This result is definitely not what our parents want. Sometimes, if you want your child to let go of what he is doing and do something else as you say, you should remind him in advance and let him do something later. At the same time, children should be allowed to complain freely before obeying orders.

Don't cover up your child's mistakes, and don't indulge your child too much.

Making mistakes is a child's nature and right. In the process of making mistakes and then correcting them, children continue to accumulate experience, thus growing up and maturing.

When children make mistakes, parents must promptly remind and correct them. However, there are often some parents who always think that their children are still young and either turn a blind eye or treat their children's mistakes in a disguised and conniving way. I think it is possible and necessary for parents to tolerate their children's shortcomings and mistakes properly. But indulging children too much is not conducive to their growth. Because children will grow up sooner or later and go out to the society, some things that work at home are hard to say outside. Therefore, indulging a child will only deprive him of the development of his potential ability and hinder him from becoming a capable, independent and self-disciplined person.

Don't discipline children with inconsistent rules.

Disciplining children with inconsistent rules is one of the common mistakes made by some parents.

Some parents are very arbitrary in educating their children, with no principles or rules, or parents make rules at will according to their own emotions. Children's same behavior, sometimes punished, sometimes praised, sometimes let him go. This will make children feel confused and don't know what to do is right or wrong. In the long run, it will not only make parents lose their prestige in their children's hearts, but also make children develop a rogue habit that has no standard of right and wrong and everything can change with emotions.

Therefore, children need their parents to educate them with a set of consistent, credible and reliable rules. But parents should also be careful not to make rules that are not suitable for children's age. If you want a two-year-old child to behave like a five-year-old child, it is obviously unscientific. Because what you expect from him is a level of behavior that he can't reach at his age.

Don't abuse the rewards for children.

Abuse of rewards is also a common problem for some parents. Adults often say, "I will reward you for what you have done." "I will reward you for what you have scored in the exam." This method of correcting children's mistakes with rewards or encouraging children's progress with rewards is actually a bribe to children and a very wrong educational method. As a result, lazy and incorrect values are often cultivated in children.

I once read a cartoon: a child holds a test paper with a score of 100, and his father rewards him with 100 yuan; The second time, the child got a 90-point test paper, and his mother rewarded him with 90 yuan money; The third time the child got an 88-point test paper, grandma rewarded him with 88 yuan money; The fourth time, the child took a 50-point test paper and asked his grandfather for 50 yuan money. As a result, he was scolded by the whole family. This cartoon satirizes the consequences of abusing rewards.

I think there should be a standard when we ask children to do something. Praise well, not criticize well. Sometimes you can give a symbolic material stimulus, but you can't abuse it, and you can't use rewards as a way to correct your child's mistakes. For example, learning is a child's bounden duty, and doing well in the exam should be praised and affirmed, but it is a big mistake to reward as much as possible. Therefore, in the process of educating children, remember that rewards cannot be abused.

Don't quarrel in front of the children.

In some families, family relations are not harmonious, and husband and wife are often noisy. If you cultivate well, you can also take care of your children and try to avoid them; And those who have poor self-cultivation have no scruples, and even pick children to make noise when they are around them. This noisy result not only destroys the happy and harmonious atmosphere of the family, affects the normal psychological development of children, but also makes children look down on their parents.

There are also some families where parents quarrel openly because of different methods of educating their children, which will make their children at a loss and don't know who to listen to. In the end, they often act according to one side's opinion. If this goes on, it will not only fail to achieve the due educational effect, but also make the position of the concession party decline in the eyes of children. Therefore, parents are consistent in front of their children. If there are really big differences, children should also be avoided to discuss them. Don't let children feel that only one person has the final say, lest one party is not present and the other party can't.

Don't cling to the child's shortcomings.

In life, there are always some parents who demand too much from their children and are too strict, clinging to their shortcomings and faults.

Perhaps their starting point is to remind and educate children, but the consequence of doing so is precisely to bruise and hit children, and constantly strengthen their sense of identity with their own shortcomings, which is not conducive to the healthy growth of children. Sometimes it may cause children's disgust and produce negative thoughts of "broken cans and broken falls".

For example, a timid child doesn't like to talk when he meets strangers. Instead of praising his generosity and courage, his parents say, "I am a timid child and don't like to talk." Parents have given their children a conclusion, how can they make them talk? In addition, some parents keep saying that their children are playful, naughty and don't like learning. After a long time, children really don't like learning. Why? Because you labeled your child as not interested in learning.

In my teaching practice for more than 20 years, I found that every student has advantages and disadvantages of one kind or another. If you can constantly discover and praise his advantages and deliberately dilute his shortcomings, over time, his advantages will become more prominent and his shortcomings will gradually disappear. In the same way, it is the same for us to carry out family education. Be good at discovering children's advantages and deliberately downplaying their shortcomings, which may lead to unexpected good results. Here, I want to send you a sentence: "For children, the benefits are great, and the disadvantages are getting less and less." You can try if you don't believe me.

Don't dampen children's curiosity.

Curiosity is the basic feature of children, the internal motivation for children to know things and acquire knowledge, and the spiritual source of children's innovative thinking.

They are curious and fresh about the colorful world outside, so they often have some strange questions, strange ideas and unreasonable actions. For these valuable performances, some parents can take advantage of the situation to cultivate their children's good habits of asking questions, thinking and exploring, and then step by step towards success. However, there are also some parents who are annoyed and afraid of their children's questions, and often respond coldly or mercilessly to their precious curiosity. They often criticize children: "Why do you talk so much and ask so many questions?" Or "What a silly question you ask", "What a ridiculous idea you have" and "Come on, people will laugh at you if they know". In this way, a child who is eager and curious about the outside world has gradually become a calm and mediocre person who is not interested in anything, does not strive for progress, follows the rules, lacks enthusiasm and lacks innovative spirit. And all this stems from the loss of his curiosity.

Therefore, when we carry out family education, we must protect our children's thirst for knowledge and curiosity, and never dampen their curiosity, never!

Don't expect too much from your children.

Children have hope, which is the same feeling for every family. However, the expectations for children are too high. When they are out of the threshold of children's practical ability, expectations will become bondage, pressure and even disaster.

We often see and hear that parents have high expectations and strict requirements for their children, which leads to the tragedy of children's mental disorder or suicide. We often expect too much from our children. If our children work hard, we will work hard ourselves. When the goal is not achieved, the child is very painful and disappointed. We often ask our children to be the first in every exam, and all subjects are above 90 points, which is a perfect score. We often ask our children to be excellent in this and that, but think about it carefully. Can a child bear so many expectations? Besides, everyone wants to be the first, so who will be the second? After all, there is only one first, what's more, children can't get the first place and get good grades. In addition to their own efforts, there are also factors such as school, family atmosphere, teacher level and parents' inheritance. How can you keep asking children regardless of reality? Therefore, we should treat all children with a normal heart. Proper hope for children is possible and necessary, but too high hope is counterproductive. Everyone must remember this sentence: "The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment".