People are not saints, and no couple can really respect each other for decades. If mom and dad really quarreled in front of the children, how should they make up afterwards?
Parents quarrel. No matter who wins, it is always the children who get hurt. A few days ago, I took Shunshun to participate in the parent-child activities of early education. All the children are playing games around the teacher, which is very lively. Only one little girl is leaning against the corner alone, holding a teddy bear tightly in her two small arms. It is quiet and silent, which makes people feel inexplicably distressed.
Later, I chatted with the little girl's mother: once when she was bathing her child, she had a fierce argument with her husband, and the child kept crying with a bath towel. Since then, he can't live without that teddy bear.
There was once a psychological survey of school-age children, one of which was: "What are you most afraid of?"
The one who answered the most was: I'm afraid that Mom and Dad will quarrel. They quarreled so fiercely that I was so scared!
Adults quarrel, no matter who wins, it is always innocent children who are injured.
I read such a story on the Internet: My friend Xiao Min spent his childhood arguing with his parents. Once my parents quarreled and smashed all the dishes in the kitchen. In the debris on the ground, my parents took her arm and asked her who she wanted to talk to.
Mandy cut her wrist with a piece of debris. This kind of self-harm actually allowed the family to live in peace for a while.
After a while, my parents still quarreled. Xiao Min said she was too stupid. She wants to exchange endless self-harm for the harmony of her parents.
Xiao Min still has several shallow scars on his arm, accompanied by mild depression that has not yet healed.
What children want is a normal and harmonious life. They are the crystallization of love, not the scapegoats of hatred.
When couples quarrel, they often lose their minds and basically don't care about their children's feelings. The two sides argue recklessly, and there may even be cases of starting work and throwing things.
Parents quarrel twice at a time, and when children see it, their young hearts will be hit hard and afraid.
When parents quarrel ten times and twenty times, children will not feel the love between their parents, their personality will gradually become introverted, they will often feel depressed in their hearts, and they will inexplicably feel inferior.
In the long run, children will become disliked and afraid to get along with others, which will lead to social difficulties. It slowly leads to children's psychological and physical problems, and many depression is caused by this.
When adults quarrel, children will be introverted and even autistic and depressed. A study in the United States found that children's physical and mental health will be hurt, personality defects and psychological problems will appear, and more seriously, they will have suicidal tendencies.
Parents love each other and kill each other. In a family full of smoke, the most injured child is the one with a heavy burden.
The pain in marriage will eventually be paid by the children. Don't let the ups and downs in marriage ruin the happiness of the next generation.
Cummings, an American psychologist, said: "Children will pay great attention to the emotional interaction between their parents and use it as a basis for judging whether the family environment is safe." Control your emotions before quarreling, it is better to remedy them in time after quarreling!
To err is human. Parents will inevitably lose control of their emotions, but losing control of their emotions cannot be an excuse to quarrel in front of their children. As parents, what we need to do most is to avoid hurting our children.
1, before quarreling, hold back 15 seconds. You should calm down your grumpy emotions before you solve the problem. If you really can't control your emotions for a while, try not to argue in front of the children.
When arguing, you should avoid children. Try to avoid quarreling in front of the children, and say something when the children are asleep or close the door. You should never underestimate children's observation of things, and don't think that children know nothing, but they know everything in their hearts. Don't throw things, hit people, etc. during an argument.
3. After quarreling, explain to the children in time. The child's fragile mind needs to be repaired. If parents have a quarrel when their emotions are out of control, they must explain clearly to their children as soon as they calm down afterwards, saying that their parents are just a little louder, nothing, and make a positive appearance to make up for their young hearts.
The best example parents can give their children is to love each other. Never underestimate children's observation, only loving parents can give children real happiness. Just like the marriage between Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang, a literary couple, it still has reference significance until now. Qian Zhongshu once gave Jiang Yang the highest evaluation: "The most virtuous wife, the most talented woman."
When Jiang Yang woke up on a strange morning, a small table had been set up on the bed. Qian Zhongshu boiled eggs, heated milk and toasted bread. Jiang Yang said happily, "This is the most delicious breakfast I have ever eaten."
Such a warm life makes their children know what happiness is from an early age.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: "Parents are children's greatest fate. If parents love each other, children will be full of happiness. "
Children whose parents love each other are really lucky. Because he (she) has seen what good feelings are, he (she) has a keen feeling of love and knows how to love. A harmonious and happy family is what we all expect, but even a loving couple may have an occasional dispute.
When quarreling is inevitable, how can we minimize the harm to innocent children?
● Try not to quarrel in front of children. I can't imagine how helpless a minor child will be when he screams when his parents quarrel.
Jordan chan and Cherrie Ying are both impatient, but Jordan chan said in an interview: "Cherrie Ying and I never quarrel in front of the children."
The negative emotions of husband and wife need to be vented, but don't let the quarrel develop out of control. Try to avoid children if possible. Children are for love, not for harm. May every child be treated gently by his parents.
Parents are children's first teachers! The famous educator Suhomlinski believes that parents are the dearest people of children. Only when parents respect and care for each other can children feel that there is truth and virtue in the world.
And Ms. Satya, the "master of family therapy", also said: "The best gift you can give your child is a good marriage relationship." A good marriage requires parents to love each other.
Many times, a good marriage relationship just means a harmonious and equal way of getting along between parents, a respectful communication attitude and a supportive emotional psychology.
A good marriage relationship is that dad respects mom, loves each other and respects each other as guests. This is the best gift for children!
Every child should be respected by his parents. Parents' love and family harmony belong to every child! The greatest happiness is that parents should restrain their anger and give their children the best growth atmosphere. Let's work hard from now on! A harmonious and loving home is the best gift for children. Children are for love, not for harm. May every child be treated gently by his parents.