Since I became a mother, raising and educating children has become an important topic in my life. I dare not neglect children's education. However, even so, there will always be many headaches on the road of parenting. So when I saw the book "Don't give up, just wait for the flowers to bloom", I seemed to see a glimmer of light. When I opened it, I realized that I really read a good book on parenting.
About children, how should we raise them? How to teach? How to love? It is the correct way to open the baby. The book gives the best answers to the most concerned questions of many novice parents.
This kind of problem, I believe every parent will patronize from time to time, causing more or less trouble. Before reading this book, these questions also made me confused and flustered. Until I met this book, the problems that have been bothering me were solved one by one, and my heart suddenly became clear. It turns out that there are poems and distant places on the road to raising a baby.
Don't give up, just wait for the flowers to bloom. This book was written by dear baby. Pro-baby, the first brand of parent-child service app in China, mainly aims at young families with children, and provides a private cloud hosting for young families to record and * * * enjoy the growth of families and children, so that all relatives and friends can care about the growth of children from a distance. This book is written by a number of contributing authors, telling everyone with a short story about parents and children: the core of family education is to accompany children to grow up, and it is also the process in which parents accompany children to grow up; Love is a two-way education. Only when parents know how to love can children learn to love.
This book is divided into five chapters, respectively, from five aspects of love, gestation, love, nurturing, love, freedom, love, companionship, love and besieged city, analyzing and telling how parents should correctly raise their children and accompany their children to grow up with the best love.
Chapter 1/Your flowers, let yourself bloom.
Many women often lose themselves after giving birth. In their world, there is another person who is more important than his own life-children. Everything revolves around children. A large part of family expenses is spent on children. Milk powder is the best, diapers are the most expensive and early education is the best. Clothes and toys are constantly being bought in buy buy. I hope I can't give all the best things in the world to my children. I became extremely stingy with myself. I can not buy new clothes for several years, I can push my children around the community, I can not wash my face and look in the mirror all day ... I always compromise like this, and gradually I hate myself, look down on myself and live a sloppy and embarrassing life.
To tell the truth, there is no woman who doesn't love beauty, and no woman likes her untidy and faceless life. But on the way to raising children, they are very confused. They think that as long as the children are good, they are qualified to be good mothers, and it is not that important. This idea is ridiculous, but mothers don't realize it. The book says:
Mother is not only a mother, but also herself. Although we depend on our children, we will eventually become ourselves. Moreover, it is mentioned in the book that being a mother is not an excuse to "give up on yourself", and a well-lived mother is the best example for children.
Only when mothers become confident and happy can they raise children who are equally confident and happy. Imagine a sloppy, irritable and complaining mother. How can her children be cheerful, optimistic, confident and excellent?
So love yourself first, and you can love your family better.
The second chapter/a thought of flowers, a thought of abyss.
It is difficult to have children, and it is even more difficult to raise children. I think this is a feeling that many treasure mothers have a deep understanding of. We all hope to train our children to be natural and graceful, clever and sensible, and self-reliant. However, on the actual parenting road, we often think too much about them and do too much, and hate that children can't follow their own will all their lives.
We will encounter many obstacles, many contradictions and many problems. On the one hand, we are afraid that giving our children too much love will make them arrogant and lose proper limit; On the other hand, I am worried that because I am ashamed of my exposed love, my children will have a distance from themselves and it will be difficult to get close to them in the future.
There are many situations that we often encounter in the book. For example, some parents are afraid that their children will go hungry. When their children are three years old, they will chase them and feed them spoonfuls. Some parents give their children anything they want, no matter how unreasonable and absurd it is. Over time, their children become extremely selfish, self-centered, and can't stand the slightest injustice and frustration. Many parents often encounter this situation. If a child sees something in the supermarket and you don't agree to buy it, he will roll. How to solve this embarrassing situation?
The book gives the answer to such a headache. Some questions, the author teaches us how to teach children the rules he should know through short stories, so that they can become popular and affirmed people. For some problems, the author finds out the reasons behind children's unreasonable troubles by analyzing their growth characteristics, and teaches us how to easily crack "baby splashing water".
In this chapter, you can learn how to give your children the best upbringing. Use the most effective methods and skills to make your life with your children a poem!
Chapter 3/Don't be perfect, just be happy.
In this chapter, what I want to mention most is the "fighting problem" mentioned in the book, which I believe is also a common headache for many parents. As parents, we don't want to see our children being bullied, but in life, we will inevitably meet Xiong Haizi. At this time, how can we guide children not to be bullied, but also establish correct values and outlook on life?
In life, in order to avoid children's losses, many parents will instill such an idea in their children over and over again: "If others hit you, you will not hesitate to fight back." Some children fight back when they are bullied; There are also some children who are born timid and dare not pick up their fists no matter how their parents teach them. No matter what kind of children, their thoughts will become contradictory. When they beat their parents because they are unhappy, their parents will tell them: "It's wrong to hit people, and hitting people is not a good boy." When facing an outsider, he will tell him, "If someone hits you, you must fight back." In the child's small heart, there will be such a question. Is hitting people a good thing or a bad thing?
The author of the book wrote: Come, have a fight with my son! She hopes that her children would rather be rough-skinned than lose the blood, courage, responsibility and responsibility that boys should have. However, she doesn't want to raise her son into a violent bully. She hopes that when a child has a dispute with a friend, he can face the contradiction directly, not avoid it. She hopes that he will learn to weigh what can become friendship and what must be done. She wants to see a "man's heart" under her son's gentle appearance.
And isn't that what every parent wants to see? An upright, brave and responsible child.
Chapter 4/I grow up with you and you grow old with me.
The best love for children is companionship. As long as you are a parent, you probably know this. But, how to accompany? The author of the book mentioned "invalid companionship". Let me also have to reflect on my so-called companionship over the years. In the years of accompanying my son, there are also low-quality or even ineffective companionship.
Many parents believe that companionship is to accompany their children. To put it simply, it is enough to see that your children are not in danger. Nowadays, most parents are children playing with children's toys, and parents look at their parents' mobile phones. So the tragedy happened again and again, parents only looked down at the mobile phone, and the child fell from the balcony and died; Parents cross the street to look at their mobile phones, and the child is hit by a sudden car. ...
When such a tragedy happens, we always feel that we are as far away from ourselves as listening to the gobbledygook, and we simply can't pay enough attention to it. It was not until the moment when misfortune happened to me that I suddenly woke up and wanted to cry, but what was done was too late.
The opinion mentioned in the book "Are you sure you are raising a child, not a mobile phone?" "Low-quality companionship is better than no companionship." The author wrote: I hope we all have such patience and determination, accompany our children, look forward to the red sunset, walk slowly on the stone road under your feet, wait for the breeze to blow through the treetops, listen to Xia Chan, see a flower, and shuttle through every spring, summer, autumn and winter. ...
The real companionship is that you devote yourself to the parent-child activities with your child, build blocks with him, watch the sunrise and tell stories together, so that he can feel your warm and delicate love and become a loving person.
Accompanying children's growth is like walking with snails. Only when we slow down, calm down and feel the snail's eyes can we appreciate the beauty in the children's world.
Chapter 5/Marriage is a long-term practice.
When it comes to marriage, it is these three relationships that appear in our minds: husband and wife, mother-in-law and parent-child. We can't escape from these three relationships, nor can we escape. They are well maintained and everything at home is prosperous. If you don't take good care of it, your home will become a besieged city, you will become a bird imprisoned in it, and you will miss happiness.
Some ideas in the book are novel and practical, which have taught us many ways to get along with each other between husband and wife and between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. For example, "Respect is the greatest equality in marriage." "The family raises together and the money is open." "Knowing how to accept his flattery is also an emotional intelligence." "Mother-in-law is not a mother, so enlarge her heart." "It is an obligation for the elderly to help you with your children, and it is an obligation not to help." ……
Many times, as the authorities, we are often involved in it, unconsciously being stupid, and taking family ties for granted. It backfired, and it was just the two of us. For example, many new wives think that I am as good to my mother-in-law as my mother. If I am good to my mother-in-law, she should help me with my children.
This is one-sided. It is wrong to treat mother-in-law as mother first. Of course, it is right to be filial to your mother-in-law, but you can't ask your mother-in-law to treat you as a mother. After all, the mother-in-law is not a mother, so get along with her politely. Secondly, it is not easy for a mother-in-law to raise a child. It is understandable that she is old and wants to have her own life. If she helps you with the children, we should thank her. It makes sense if she doesn't help. As a daughter-in-law, don't get entangled in this matter, just annoying.
Every child is the heart of his parents. Children's education is what parents are most concerned about. However, as parents, the process of educating their children is also the process of their own growth. Only when parents know how to love can children learn to love.
The book "Don't let go, just wait for the flowers to bloom" has written all kinds of problems on the road to parenting, with unique insights, full of dry goods and easy to practice. It is a must-read book for parents and children. What are you waiting for? Come and have a look, I believe you will benefit a lot!