"You don't hit the baby now?"

Friend Han Han said:

"Don't mention it, it seems a bit broken. He hid as soon as he saw me. This is also a kindergarten. I don't think it is necessary to play. But then I found that I couldn't play, because if I thought he could understand, he didn't seem to understand. "

Han Han's friend Dabao is very naughty. When he was a child, he could only rely on "beating" to maintain harmony at home.

But what he said finally made him realize the reason why he couldn't hit the baby. Someone asked, "What do you mean the child really doesn't understand?" He said: "When you say to the baby,' Don't touch this, it's very hot', then the baby will touch it as soon as you turn around."

I believe that every family has encountered this situation, and we generally think that the baby is disobedient. But in fact, it is the problem of children's lack of discrimination, which belongs to the category of "intellectual development"

Baby's discrimination ability

The psychology that mothers must understand before their children 13 years old: Babies' ability to distinguish sarcastic words from insulting words will appear quite late, and they often regard adult irony as positive words.

Just like a friend's cognitive ability to a baby, he finally comes to the conclusion that he knows nothing. I think when he said "I don't understand", he was actually expressing the baby's "I don't understand" the words of adults. When children don't act according to the wishes of adults, we often say, "Why are you so disobedient?" "Don't you understand what I'm saying?" But what is the real idea in the baby's heart?

1. "Mom, what did you say?"

The 3-year-old baby is in a sensitive stage of language development, and he is accepting a lot of new words and expressions. When a baby's behavior annoys his parents, he will also understand our feelings from adults' reactions, expressions and body movements.

When parents raised their voices to reprimand their children because they were angry, he was actually thinking, "Why? What does mother want to express? " When parents see indifferent children at this time, they can't suppress their inner anger, make a hullabaloo about and even beat up their children.

(2) said "irony" useful?

Bauer has been fascinated by cartoons recently. Although he has a certain sense of time, he always cries after watching cartoons. Dad simply dared to say, "Then you can watch. Dad says you can stay up until midnight, okay? " Eva immediately nodded, stopped crying, sat on the sofa and began to watch. My husband thinks that by saying this, the child can feel his anger. Unexpectedly, Bauer thought it was his permission, so he watched TV happily.

Great, there is no reason to turn off the TV at all. Looking at Bao Dad scratching his head and Bauer watching TV with great interest, I realized that it was useless for a child to "say irony" because he didn't understand it at all.

The baby's discrimination ability needs a certain period of time to cultivate and accumulate, in order to achieve what parents expect. Even adults sometimes confuse the consciousness in others' words, don't they?

The book "Education in calvert" mentions that Karl should be trained to distinguish between truth and evil from a very young age, because without this ability, knowledge will look pale and powerless.

Therefore, children's discrimination ability belongs to the category of intellectual development. If children want to understand their parents better and faster, they need to pay attention to their intellectual development.

On the intellectual development of infants

Through research, it is found that the exploitable proportion of children's intelligence is 56% at 0-3 years old, 24% at 4-6 years old and 20% at 7- 12 years old.

As we all know, at the age of three, a baby's brain has reached 80% of that of an adult. The perfection of baby's cranial nerve development is actually what we often call "cleverness".

However, in children's intellectual development, adults always want to make decisions for children. For example, parents want their children to achieve something in painting, but children just like music. Parents will think that their children are ignorant and willful, but what is the correct way?

First of all, what needs to be done is to respect the baby's subjectivity. What is subjectivity? That is, every child is his own master, and their cognition of the world is different from that of adults. There used to be a program in "Qi Pa Shuo" about whether to tell children that the fairy tale world is fake. In the eyes of adults, the fairy tale world is naturally false, but in the eyes of babies, it is true and normal. This is also the difference between children and adults in their perception of the outside world.

Secondly, after confirming the children's subjectivity, parents should put their children and themselves on an equal footing. It is not recommended to use parental authority to suppress children at will. For example, when adults mix flour and wrap jiaozi, they always put their children in other places, for fear that the baby will make flour everywhere. This is depriving children of their right to participate, which is unequal. How do you know how great a child is if you don't participate?

Finally, correctly guide, inspire and tap children's interests.

Shakespeare said: knowledge must be in line with their own interests in order to benefit.

Only by discovering the child's talent and making use of the situation can we get twice the result with half the effort and make the baby smarter day by day in a relaxed and happy atmosphere.

Someone said, "Everything was in harmony before having a baby. After having a baby, the sky will collapse. " The biggest contradiction in the family is often caused by children, and in the training stage of children's intellectual development, it is not completely helpless to want family harmony.

Parents do this to make their children understand.

The greatness of Athens Greek civilization is the result of free education, and the poverty of Byzantine Greek civilization is the result of discipline.

The performance of a child can usually show the literacy of the whole family. If the baby grows up in a harmonious and friendly family atmosphere, he will be gentle and tolerant; If you grow up in a family atmosphere full of frequent family conflicts and cold war or shouting all day, your baby will be grumpy and impatient.

If you want your child to have a good growth environment during the critical period of intellectual development, parents can try to do so.

1、? Control dad.

In children's education, mothers who are usually close to their children will play a role in disciplining their children. Because dad's "anger" is often more terrible in the baby's eyes. If the strength is not well mastered, the baby's mind will be blank, let alone understand the meaning of adults, and even dare not put things down.

What children can learn from their father should be strong, brave and responsible, rather than being scared by his severity. Therefore, after the parent-child conflict, dad should learn to control himself.

2、? Neglect children.

This method of "ignoring" is used at the right time and has certain disciplinary power. When a child suddenly gets angry and breaks a toy, it is not correct to reprimand or appease the child's emotions at this time. We can ignore him for a while, but we must put away his toys and forbid him to play in the future.

The purpose of doing this is to let the child bear the consequences of natural punishment and let the baby think. Maybe he doesn't understand your words, but your actions will make him understand.

3、? "* * * love" mom.

When the child's mood is slightly stable, the mother should take the initiative to chat with the baby. As long as the child does not refuse, it is a good start. Babies are always more likely to accept their mothers' understanding and comfort. No matter what reason he is angry, the appearance of his mother is a "step that can be stepped on."

Parents said they understood their children's feelings, but they needed to be clear about their baby's misconduct. In this way, the child not only learned the vocabulary to describe this emotion, but also understood how to vent it correctly.