Hello, I'm red bean. I'm glad to answer this question. It seems that I have never really hit a child in my mind. Maybe it has something to do with childhood, because my parents haven't played since childhood. The most serious thing is that I criticized my children. I never hit them again when I was angry, and I was often said to cry. Finally, my children will take the initiative to admit their mistakes, and sometimes they will feel that their children are sensible in an instant. Maybe every family educates their children in a different way. Then I also suggested that no matter what, try not to hit the child. This is my answer, thank you.
I did it. Just like you said, I feel distressed every time I finish playing, and I begin to regret it. It's really hard to watch the child look miserable, so I will tell myself that I won't play anymore, but I can't control it when there is a problem. I think there should be a lot of such situations. Don't care too much, just take your time, mainly to control your emotions.
Tell me about my situation. I am a hothead, but my child is a slow one. Besides, I have a big temper. This kind of situation often happens in our family. Even once, the child and I fought in bed, which was really angry and ridiculous. That's when I realized I couldn't do this anymore. I have to change. If my children remain the same, I will change. Much better now. Our children are also 12 years old this year.
Adjust slowly and stop playing. Actually, it's no use calling. Children and adults are not feeling well. Try to use some techniques. Today's children are too smart! I hope it helps you.
I'm glad to answer this question. I'm Jenny, an early education teacher.
I can't help hitting the child, but every time I finish, it feels like a knife cut, but I can't help it. I believe many parents have the same contradictory feelings.
Because today's children are ghosts and horses, and they are older, fighting with adults. My children really annoy me sometimes. I want to hit him, and he says, Mom, if you have something to say, you will get old when you get angry.
Through learning, I have a deeper understanding of the sensitive period of each child at different stages and a clearer understanding of the psychological and physiological characteristics of children. So I will also analyze the child's behavior in detail, which will reduce the number of times I get angry.
A few days ago, a 4-year-old girl was abused and scolded by her stepmother, and Jinhua parents lied to their children that the police uncle was a bad person, all of which showed the serious consequences caused by parents' lack of learning in their children's education.
4-30 is the International Day of No Child Beating. Corporal punishment may cause psychological harm to children. Listen more and be patient. Don't take "I'm doing it for the children" as a simple and rude excuse! Propose together: don't get started!
Suggestion:
1. Learn more books about children's psychology and education. "Positive discipline", "raising boys" and "raising girls" and so on, parents can only make progress with their children if they maintain the ability of lifelong learning, and there is still a long time from children to children to teenagers and adolescence.
2. When a child makes you angry, calm your mind first, knowing that this is your own, your own. .....
3. Put yourself in the child's shoes, reason with the child, or specific methods.
I believe that as long as we communicate with children more, see their advantages and understand the futility of beating and cursing, parent-child communication will get better and better.
Above, I hope to help you!
I had the same experience.
When my children were young, I had to go to work. I'm very busy, and I'm under great pressure at work. If I see my child disobedient, I will give him a beating. Like you, watching children cry makes me sad, but sometimes I can't help it. Even if I don't start, I will be scolded.
Now through studying, I know that this is a kind of kicking cat effect in psychology. We are in a bad mood and have nowhere to vent, so we can only vent it on the weaker children.
When we beat and scold children, in fact, children are very hurt, which will make them timid and afraid after a long time. Children can endure when they are young, but they will resist when they are old, and the parent-child relationship is getting worse and worse.
In children's cognition, there may be no concept of right or wrong. From his standpoint, he is right. When my children were young, they spread paper on the floor to draw pictures, which made the floor messy. Later, through conversation, he thought I would praise him for his wit, but he didn't expect to be beaten for it.
When you see a child disobedient, you should hold back for a few seconds, take a deep breath to calm yourself down, leave the scene and divert your attention. Calm down and listen to the child.
If you really can't hold back, you must apologize to your child, let the child know that although you are a parent, you will make mistakes, let the child supervise you, and slowly let the parent-child relationship move toward normal.
When children grow up, parents should also study. Controlling emotions is one of the contents of learning. Accept children unconditionally and treat them as friends, and the relationship will become closer and closer.
First of all, I admit that I hit children and yelled at them.
So I can understand your feelings, but distressed and beaten can't solve the problem. Every time I seriously reflect, what makes me can't help yelling at him and hitting him? Has the problem been finally solved? Can another method be a better solution?
To this end, I personally made the following changes for your reference.
1/ Self-study education, emotional control, communication skills with children, positive discipline, etc. This is the most important point for me. Because through the study of books or videos, I have a clearer understanding of my own needs and my own shortcomings. Many times, we adults are angry only because our children don't do what we ask, that is, we are so-called good children who listen to their parents.
2/ Take children to study together. Improve children's emotional intelligence and cognition through reading. Reading broadens their horizons.
3/ Take more children to exercise and go out more. It helps to improve children's own happiness and promote the development of good personality.
4/ You can watch meaningful videos, movies, etc. Often with children, children will learn and imitate.
5/ Be sure to spend some time with your child every day to really talk about anything. Know how to communicate, and you will be relieved when you grow up.
Most mothers will be very sad and heartbroken when they hit their children. Because it is your own child, even if the child is disobedient, in the mother's heart, your child will always be the best and the best! ! So don't be angry with mom, mom just hates iron not to produce! ! !
I've never played. The baby is only a month old, and it's not time to be beaten, hahahaha.
Hello, I'm Ma Bao Nian, and I'm glad to answer your questions. The child is 3 years old now, and I haven't really hit the child yet. It's just that children have grown up recently and their emotions are getting stronger and stronger. I dragged him into the bedroom when he started to resist. This process may be fierce, but I know a very radical mother. Let me tell you my opinion:
Boss is the kind of naughty boy. He should go to primary school today. In my sister-in-law's words, this child knows how to make trouble and deliberately makes a mess! I can't tell you how many times! Besides, my sister is also very naughty. They often make my sister-in-law mad to the point of collapse, because now I have to take care of my third child. In such an environment, emotional stability is really difficult.
At first, I told my child that I would clean up with him, but the child wouldn't move. I told him several times that the child was still indifferent, so I got angry, pulled the child to the bedroom and closed the door, leaving him crying alone. The child is so stubborn that he would rather cry than clean up. I don't care about his own business. He cried for about twenty minutes. When the child saw that I didn't respond, he came out to clean up. After cleaning up, he found himself a step: mom, look, I'm ready! I'm really angry with him, laughing! Anyway, the whole thing has been done intermittently for several times, and the children behind will clean it up by themselves.
Conclusion I am studying in Ma Bao. Welcome to pay attention to @ Danianbao and exchange parenting experiences.