Beibei, a 3-year-old, really showed obvious self-distrust. In her words, she was worried that she could not do well. Parents may be a little surprised, how can such a small baby be so insecure? In fact, the baby's feeling of self begins from the moment of birth and gradually deepens with age. Beibei, a 3-year-old, likes painting very much, so her parents signed her up for a painting class in the early education center. One day, however, her mother took Beibei to learn to draw. On the way, Beibei suddenly said that she didn't want to go. Mother wondered, "doesn't Beibei like painting very much?" Why don't you want to go? "Beibei said timidly," What if I can't draw well? What if the teacher doesn't praise me? "Listen to beibei, my mother is very unhappy. Beibei's lack of confidence is not limited to this one. For example, once Beibei wanted to play paper-cutting, so her mother showed her children how to cut gears with scissors and white paper. The child picked up the scissors cheerfully, but hesitated for a long time without cutting a knife and said, "What if I can't cut it well?" "So I decided not to cut it. It is said that Beibei's parents have always praised and encouraged Beibei, never demanding too much from their children or hitting her. Why do children have so little confidence? Why is the baby "not confident"? Beibei, a 3-year-old, really showed obvious self-distrust. In her words, she was worried that she could not do well. Parents may be a little surprised, how can such a small baby be so insecure? In fact, the baby's feeling of self begins from the moment of birth and gradually deepens with age. When a baby comes into this world and his mother faces him, he can obviously feel whether he is anxious, relaxed, angry or happy. At the same time, he gradually formed his feelings about himself through the attitudes of the people around him. For example, I am popular, I can bring happiness to others, or because my mother is unhappy. With the growth of age, the baby's skills gradually develop, such as talking, walking, eating and so on. Every baby is different, some are faster in this respect, and some are faster in that respect. At this time, parents' attitude towards the baby's development also directly affects the baby's self-feeling and self-cognition. Some babies talk late and walk late, so parents start to worry and always compare their children with others' children. At this time, even if parents don't criticize their children, the baby can feel that he is not good enough. This is a basic process of children's self-cognition. Beibei's confidence in painting and paper-cutting may come from the evaluation of people around her on the one hand, and the feeling of self-doubt in the process of growing up on the other. Combined with Beibei's story, let's talk about the reason why the baby is not confident: 1. Inappropriate praise Although Beibei's mother mentioned that they mainly praised and appreciated their children, they seldom attacked and criticized them. However, there are some things worth thinking about when appreciating children. Some parents appreciate their children with a sentence "You are great", but this kind of praise has no practical basis. Children may believe it at first, but as the baby grows older, the scope of contact gradually expands. When he finds out in his collective life that he is not as good as his parents say, he will doubt others' affirmation of himself and at the same time doubt himself. There are also some parents who praise their children with a strong sense of comparison, such as "good baby, you are better than them." This will also make the baby form a utilitarian heart. He always likes to compare with others. Once something is not done well, his heart will be hit. 2. Failing to communicate with the teacher, the baby likes to be praised by the teacher. Once it is not praised or criticized, it will lose self-confidence. This is also a very normal thing. So Beibei is worried that the painting is not good and won't be praised. It is also possible that she experienced psychological setbacks in the process of learning painting. In fact, there are many standards for children's painting. Some teachers attach importance to coloring, while others prefer to let children doodle freely. Parents also have their own standards. Therefore, in fact, whether the painting is good or not, if parents don't have standards in their hearts and don't communicate with teachers in time and fully, children will feel inferior on the one hand and confused on the other. 3. Self-distrust is the response of children's acquisition. If parents are calm and supercilious in dealing with people, they will affect their children invisibly and make them feel good about themselves. If parents are prone to self-denial, children will also acquire this self-denial way of thinking, so they cannot confirm themselves. How to cultivate a healthy and confident baby? 1. Any operation method of raising children with a happy attitude is not as good as parents' positive and happy attitude, which has a greater impact on the healthy growth of the baby. Therefore, to make the baby confident, parents should first cultivate their own minds and make themselves calm and confident. This will invisibly send a happy and confident message to children and make them feel better about themselves. 2. Learn to appreciate it reasonably. Appreciation is first and foremost the heartfelt appreciation of parents for their children. Therefore, we should break the rules and regulations in our minds and be good at discovering the bright spots of children. In addition, there is not much difference in the intelligence level of each child, but some people are good at this and others are good at that. These congenital factors are beyond the control of children. And whether a person can develop well in the end depends on hard work. Therefore, parents should appreciate their children's efforts, not their intelligence.