In fact, after reading Hu Ma's book, you will know that Hu Ma's harsh methods are all used by her before. A year and a half ago, her little daughter started a fierce rebellion against her mother: screaming loudly, smashing cups in public and scolding in public. After countless mother-daughter struggles comparable to "nuclear war", Tiger Mother finally gave in and said, "Lulu, you won."
She allowed her little daughter to give up the violin, and she and her daughter made countless efforts for it. She allowed her daughter to play her favorite tennis, and she even allowed her eldest daughter in high school to fall in love. The time spent practicing piano every day has been reduced from six hours to one and a half hours. ...
I think this is a place where Tiger Mother is worth learning. When she realized that her methods didn't work for her little daughter, she gave in and didn't continue to push the child to the wall. She reflected on her own gains and losses in educating children and her own growth process, and wrote the book "Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother".
Many Americans focus on Tiger Mother's harsh treatment of her children when she was a child, but ignore her later changes. China's parents only focus on her children's grades, but they don't see how Tiger Mother treated her children with Chinese and western education.
An editor in China told me that Time magazine published the story of Tiger Mother, which China people thought showed that mainstream American society recognized the way of tiger mother's education. This understanding is very one-sided. The article in Time magazine deeply analyzes the deep-seated reasons for the hot discussion about Tiger Mother, because it touches two nerves of Americans: fear of American decline and worry about children's future. This paper comprehensively expounds the ins and outs of this matter, and tiger mother's views, including the support and negative opinions of psychologists, show the facts to readers, so that everyone can look at this phenomenon more deeply and comprehensively and think further.
An American once commented on the forum: Please don't use the word tiger to describe yourself. Tigers will let their cubs be themselves, just be cubs, but you won't let them be themselves. You can't compete with tigers.
To tell the truth, the tiger mother will not affect the number of children in the United States. The middle class in the United States is very strict with their children-in their own way: encouraging them to make progress and respecting their individual differences. They are very involved in children's sports, study, social activities, club activities, various competitions and so on. Many women who have received the best education and are all-powerful in the workplace will quit their jobs and go home to take care of their children after becoming mothers. How can they let the children go with the flow! Most of the white children in famous American schools are brought up by American parents in the American way. Let the children go with the flow, regardless of education, which can't be compared with parents in China. In fact, farmers account for the majority of the population in China, but we don't think those left-behind children represent the situation of children in China. Instead, children whose parents receive early education in cities are regarded as representatives of children in China, and so is the United States. Middle-class children are expected to become elites.
We in China have never lacked a tiger mother and a wolf father. Many people are even worse than tiger mom. Tiger mothers at least don't beat their children. We even met fathers who slapped their daughters on the piano platform hundreds of times.
If parents in China think it's right to treat their children severely and deprive them of all choices because of the Tiger Mother incident, it's a disaster for them to abuse their children on the grounds of education.
When it comes to children's success, where are the standards? In the United States, countless children are straight A's, and hundreds of children go to Carnegie to perform every year. Can these be defined as children's success? The vast majority of China children around me are top students, which is really not difficult to do in the United States. There are many talented classes, award-winning piano players, who hold their own concerts every year, serve as the chief of the Youth Symphony Orchestra, form their own bands in their spare time, and be admitted to the best major of Ivy League University. China's parents of these children have devoted a lot of efforts to accompany their children to grow up, but they are not as extreme as Tiger Mother. The children have achieved what the tiger mothers have not achieved.
Is it successful to be admitted to a first-class university and become a professor like a tiger mother? It should be said that it is just a success. There are thousands of professors in America, all of whom come from different ways of raising.
Tiger mother's original practice may bring lifelong scars to her children.
Many psychologists have analyzed that Tiger Mother's heart is scarred, at least her self is incomplete. She may realize this, but she refuses to face it and is unwilling to admit it in public. The way she treats her children reflects this.
I translated two articles written by children raised by "tiger mother" parents after their tiger mother came out. In North America, these two articles are widely circulated, hoping to be used for reference by domestic parents.