Humorous jokes are 20 words. In real life, when you are idle and bored, you can watch more funny jokes, which can relieve the work pressure. Then share 20 humorous jokes with you.

Humorous jokes 1 stealing fruit

The farmer visited the orchard and found a little boy climbing the apple tree. Wait and see, problem children, I'll tell your father!

The boy raised his head and shouted at the top, "Dad, someone below wants to talk to you."

branch

A man is standing on a street corner, with a hat in each hand, waiting for someone to tie his hat. A pedestrian stopped, threw a coin into one hat and asked, What's the other hat for?

Business has been expanding recently. The man replied, I decided to open a branch office.

Children joke

I'm tired from work today, and I don't want to cook dinner. ...

The girl looked at me seriously: "This is just like my homework. I have to write early and write late. Do it sooner or later, and you can't run away. Just do it quickly! Hey! "

Say that finish also solemnly patted me on the shoulder.

Alas! I can't refute it.

Careless professor

Professor Foldin is always careless. His wife asked him to throw a bag of garbage into the dustbin outside the building, but he got on the subway in a daze, went to the laboratory and finally went home with the garbage.

The wife was surprised: "What do you have?" Foldin said, "Oh, I forgot to throw out the garbage."

The wife took it and looked even more surprised: "Where did you get a pack of ham?"

The words on the back

"Director, is the writing on my back wrong?"

"No, there is nothing wrong. According to the History of Song Dynasty, the words tattooed on Yue Fei's body are not' loyal to the country' but' loyal to the country'. "

"No matter which one, in short, it's not the' loyal service to the country' I tattooed on my back now, is it? ! "

get a ride

A naval officer stood next to the driver on the bus and didn't sit down to avoid damaging his neatly ironed uniform. A drunk got on the bus, walked up to the officer, pulled his sleeve and said he wanted to buy a ticket. The officer ignored him. But the drunk insisted, so the officer turned and said, "Friend, I'm not a conductor, I'm a naval officer."

"Then," replied the drunk, "stop the boat. I want to take a bus. "

Cleverness in small things

Tom came to ask Jim for the bill, and Jim hid at home and didn't dare to show up. He saw Jim's shoes by the door, and knowing that people must be at home, he knocked on the door.

But there was no movement in the room, so he said loudly, "Jim, I know you are hiding at home, and your shoes are still by the door?"

A voice inside said, "No, I can go out barefoot."

Humorous jokes 2 1. One day, the cow gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Cow scolds: What a donkey, male left and female right!

2. Seven years after graduation, I finally accepted a big project to build a 30-meter chimney, with a construction period of two months and a cost of 300,000 yuan, but I had to pay for it myself. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. Shit! The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig wells!

3. The monitor asked: Who is the largest officer in our platoon? A: It's a platoon leader. The monitor asked again: Who's under the teacher? The recruit replied: The teacher rode the horse.

4. Some words are only for people who understand, such as English listening test.

5, money is so wronged, everyone says they love it, but they trade it with others.

Extended data:

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in plot, and often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining and have different tastes.

Other species, although they have different names, are very similar in nature.

Humorous joke 3 1, the monitor asked: Who is the largest officer in our platoon? A: It's a platoon leader. The monitor asked again: Who's under the teacher? The recruit replied: The teacher rode the horse.

At the gate of the supermarket, I saw a big brother who delivered the courier and just started the motorcycle.

In less than 3 seconds, I heard a bang, and everyone else and the car fell to the ground.

I saw him get up silently, take out the key and unlock the front wheel of the car.

After dinner, I taught my daughter to be polite to others.

I said to my daughter, "First of all, learn to say' thank you'. When you receive a gift from others, say "thank you"; When eating, people will say' thank you' when they bring you food. Mom should also say' thank you' when she dresses you. "

In order to make my daughter understand the meaning of thank you better, I took a bottle of drink and put it at hand. I said to my daughter, "You see, even if it is a bought drink, the producer will print' thank you for your patronage' on the bottle cap."

As I spoke, I unscrewed the bottle cap and showed it to my daughter.

I was dumbfounded after unscrewing the bottle cap. I saw "another bottle" printed on the cover.

At KFC in front of the railway station, a customer asked the waiter: Is there a power supply here?

The waitress said quietly, I'm a waiter.

Guest: ...

5. Two miners pull coal together. One car was behind the other and pulled to a hillside. The person behind found that the person in front didn't exert himself, so he said, "Pull hard!" "

The person in front turned around and said angrily, "Who said I didn't work hard? You see, I have bent the rope. "

6. Old man: "I am old, and now I have a poor memory. Many things are easy to forget."

Young man: "I have a way to solve this problem."

Old man: "Really?"

Young man: "of course, really, you lend me 500 yuan first, and I have to see how bad your memory is first."

7. On the train, the man was alone in the soft sleeper, and a woman pushed the door and inserted it.

Open your chest and scratch your hair and say, give me 5000 yuan, or call someone and say you are flirting with me. The man paused, took out a pen and paper from his bag and wrote, I am deaf-mute. What do you want?

The woman picked up a pen and wrote down what she had just said on the paper.

The man smiled and took the note and opened the door: You can go out.

Humor joke 4 1, a loyal party member died. God didn't want to know the soul of an atheist in heaven, so he sent him to hell. A month later, the prince came sweating and said, "Take that man away quickly. He has trained almost all my children to be young pioneers! " God understood, and after another month, the prince gloated and asked God, "What happened to that party member?" God said, "First of all, please call me * * ..."

2. The history teacher said: The order of unifying the six countries in the Qin Dynasty can be recorded as: Call Zhao Wei to action! (Zhao Han Weichu Yanqi)

Giraffe said: Rabbit, I hope you can know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat delicious, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. The rabbit looked at him blankly. In summer, rabbit, cold water slowly flows through my long neck. It's delicious. What a long neck! Rabbit, can you imagine? The rabbit said slowly, did you throw up?

It is said that the sandstorm blew to Taiwan Province province. Many old people took to the streets, spread out their hands, looked up at the sky, burst into tears, took a deep breath and said excitedly, for many years, for many years, they finally smelled the soil in their hometown.

Before getting married, I think boys are the most handsome when they play basketball. After marriage, I suddenly found that it is the most exciting thing for men to cook, wash dishes and clean up the house!

6. What is a brother? Brother, you are lying in bed when you are old. I asked you to drink water. You shake your head. Eat fruit? You still shake your head. I asked again: Find a girl for you? You open your eyes with tears in your eyes. Brother, help me up and try.

7. I had an opportunity to add clothes before, and I didn't cherish it until I caught a cold. If God gives me another chance to start over, I will not hesitate to add all my clothes.

8. The National Development and Reform Commission will raise the price of gasoline and diesel by RMB per ton from 0: 00/month 1 day. After receiving the news, people all over the country said that the price increase of oil products does not include waste oil, so it has little impact on real life.

9. On the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her, Don't you know I'm pregnant? See that person says nervously only: "the child is not mine!" "

10, Xiao Di MM has a swimming class for the first time. An hour later, she said to the coach, "I think, is today the day to practice there?" "Why?" "I really can't drink any more."

1 1, Weaver Girl went down the mountain to take a bath and got to know Cowherd, and interpreted an emotional story that made the gods cry. This tells us that there is no chance to take a bath at home, so it is necessary to take a bath outside.

12, Jing m Guo, a seven-foot man; Chris Lee, a good family; Model husband Yang Zhenning; Have a pure heart and want nothing; Wu Ailan, a chaste and heroic woman; The United States is in dire straits; Democratic and free Korea, the origin of the world is South Korea.

13, a child asked a rich man: Sir, why are you so rich? The rich man said: I had nothing like you when I was a child. My father gave me an apple, so I sold it, bought two more apples with the money I earned, and then sold it to buy four more apples. The child said thoughtfully, sir, I seem to understand. Mr. Millionaire said: You know your sister, and then my father died, and I inherited all his inheritance.

14, the soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

15. When the bull was running, he saw a cow grazing on the roadside and said to the cow eagerly, "Run, the expert is coming." Niu: "What are you afraid of when experts come? Aren't experts human? " Niu: "Experts are bragging at the moment." The cow was frightened, so Huan Zi ran to the bull and asked, "Experts brag, you are a bull. What are you afraid of? " The bull said, "You really don't know. At present, experts can not only brag but also pull eggs. "

16, the woman is ugly and can't get married, expecting to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. When the kidnapper brought it back, she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, the car is not good!

17, Judge: Why do you want to print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently: because I can't print real money!

18 patient: "doctor, you left your scissors in my stomach." "Never mind, I have another one."

19 years ago, my father held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child, and my father cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm hungry. "

20. Once upon a time, there was a cucumber. She felt that there were too many pimples on her face, so she sliced it herself and applied it to her face.

2 1. When I was a child, my teacher told me that everyone has a diligent villain and a lazy villain. You hesitate, they fight. Diligent villains often beat lazy villains out of the water in primary school, tied in junior high school, and lazy villains often win in high school. But when I got to the university, I suddenly found that they stopped playing, and that damn diligent little man was killed.

At night, a masked gangster broke into Mike's house with a knife. He shouted to Mike, "Give me all your money, or I'll kill you!" " Mike looked at the gangster and said helplessly, "I'm sorry, I've been unemployed for half a year, and I have no money to give you." The gangster was furious: "you lazy bastard, I just lost my job last month and have been robbing outside this month!" " "

23. I saw her with a shy face and a lovely expression. I couldn't help shivering and asked in a low voice, "What about you ... do you really like me?" She buried her head and said, "Guess!" "I like it ~" Her face is redder and her head is lower. "Guess again!"

24. After the Tang Priest drove Wukong away, he met the monster again, so he had to read a spell to call Wukong back for help. Soon, a new voice came from the air: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is not in service area, please redial later.

25. "Why are hurricanes usually named after women?" "It is because of the hurricane that you ran lightly, but when the hurricane left, it took away your house and car."

26, the minimum standard for college students; Peasant woman, mountain spring, a little field.

27. Woman: "As long as I have money, I will marry who." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?"

28. In order to attract business, Hot Pot City wrote the following sentence on the advertisement of the cat flapping lamp: "Self-help hot pot, each serving is RMB, and children under the height of meters are free." My aunt in kindergarten was very excited after reading it. She was pregnant with yuan and took a class 100 children to the hot pot city.

29. A man wanted to jump off a building, and his wife shouted: Husband, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go! Hearing this, the man swooped down. The policeman said, "You really shouldn't threaten him like this!"

In Chinese class, the teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer the questions. The classmate was in a daze and couldn't say anything ... The teacher said, "Is that okay?"? I won't scream either! " Classmate: "Cheep."