A student helps the teacher tidy up the library. Teacher A praised you like this: You did a good job. You are really a diligent child. You can be an excellent librarian. Teacher B put it this way: Now that all the books are sorted out, it is much more convenient for students to find books. It was not easy to organize books, but you did it. Thank you. Teacher B's praise reminds students that the teacher likes my work and I did it really well.
Positive comments may have negative effects. Judging and praising can easily cause anxiety and tension between people, and may even destroy interpersonal relationships and normal communication. Once, a student lost ten dollars. Another student found this bill on the stairs and gave it to the class teacher. The head teacher said, "You are an honest boy. I am proud of you. " The student's face turned red at once-the teacher's praise panicked him. He once had a record of stealing from his classmates. When the teacher praised his honesty, he couldn't help feeling anxious, thinking, "If the teacher knew …" From then on, the student deliberately alienated the teacher. He didn't want the class teacher to know his past. He felt that if the class teacher knew his past, he would be ashamed of him, not proud of him. The head teacher can say: Thank you for finding the money, which makes Xiaojun (a classmate who lost money) feel much better.
Therefore, one of the principles of praise should be: praise the child's behavior as much as possible, not praise the child's character.
The second principle that praise should follow: don't associate adjectives with children's personality.
A young teacher wants to encourage children to think abstractly. She showed Xiaoli an apple and then asked, "What kind of apple is this?" Xiaoli blushed and didn't know how to answer. The teacher then asked Xiao Qiang again, and Xiao Qiang immediately replied: "Apples belong to fruits." "Good boy, good boy." The teacher praised it. The teacher went on with the class, but he didn't know that he had hurt the child. If Xiao Qiang knows the answer is a good boy, what about Xiaoli? She doesn't know the answer. Is she a bad boy? In the concept of democracy, people are never judged by what they know or what they don't know. Liars are also likely to know many things. Knowledge can't determine a person's quality, and without knowledge, it doesn't necessarily degenerate.
The teacher can actually tell Xiaoli the correct answer, or repeat Xiao Qiang's answer to express her affirmation. There is absolutely no need to use adjectives to praise a child's character.
Principle 3: Don't judge children's behavior.
On June 1 day, the students in the class dressed up the classroom, did crossword puzzles, sang songs and said cross talk-the whole process went smoothly. The class teacher was so happy that he couldn't help praising them: "Oh, my God. How amazing you are, you are simply a group of lovely angels. " Before long, the classroom was in chaos, and the class teacher was surprised and angry. She praised them sincerely just now, but suddenly she changed. Are these children really worthy of praise?
When a child feels that he is not worthy of praise, he may express his resistance with bad behavior. At the class meeting on June 1 Sunday, the students didn't feel like angels, they were just doing what they liked. When the class teacher treated them as angels and wanted to correct this comment, he deliberately hit them and broke the imagination of the class teacher.
In fact, the class teacher can say, "This class meeting is really enjoyable. Thank you for making this class meeting so lively and interesting. " In this case, the class teacher did not give the child a critical praise, she just expressed her happiness and gratitude. Students can infer from the teacher's words that they are very good and popular.
Principle 4: Use less evaluative compliments.
First of all, evaluative praise actually implies a status difference. Praisers are qualified to evaluate others. They climbed to the height of value judgment, making irresponsible remarks and pointing fingers. A young teacher explained an idea to an old teacher. "That's a good idea, young man." The praise of the old teacher seems to mean that he is better than others. Evaluative praise usually makes the praised person feel inferior. If a child says to the teacher, "Teacher, you are doing very well. You're really great. I'm proud of you. Keep working hard! " Will we feel embarrassed?
If we meet Li Bai, we can't say to him, "You are a great poet. You did a good job! " We can't say to Beethoven, "You are a great musician!" These words can only make us look ignorant and tasteless. We can say, "Thank you for your poem. They filled me with love for life. " "Thank you for playing, Mr. Beethoven. That symphony of destiny is really exciting. "
Children should also receive such courtesy. What they need is appreciative praise, not comparative or derogatory praise.
Secondly, evaluative praise is often regarded as a threat. Not only unpleasant, but also uncomfortable, unhappy and even afraid. Evaluative praise puts children under great pressure and leads them to defend themselves and escape.
Once, a student lost ten dollars. Another student found this bill on the stairs and gave it to the class teacher. The head teacher said, "You are an honest boy. I am proud of you. " The student's face turned red at once-the teacher's praise panicked him. He once had a record of stealing from his classmates. When the teacher praised his honesty, he couldn't help feeling anxious and thinking, "If the teacher knew …" The student deliberately alienated the teacher. He didn't want the class teacher to know about his past. He felt that if the teacher knew about his past, he would be ashamed of him, not proud of him.
Only by not judging the praise of children's character and personality can children's anxiety be eliminated and children can make progress without worry.
Let praise be constructive, describe the child's efforts and achievements, and our feelings, and never judge the child's character and conduct. The basic principles of useful praise are: description without evaluation, narration without judgment. We should let the children make their own evaluations.
Once the teacher gives up using evaluative cliches (good, good, good, good, etc. ), they will learn to express their gratitude and affirmation more vividly and positively. Here are some creative compliments:
Your practice dialogue description is smooth and neat, and the plot is unique. I like the structural arrangement of your practice, which makes the characters in your practice more distinctive.
Your exercises can be published in Yangzi Evening News.
It's really pleasant to see your performance on the stage. I think your role is very interesting. After the performance, my ribs hurt a little because I laughed too much.