This graduation thesis has been prepared for a long time, and I have been concentrating on writing it for some time. Now I have finally written the second draft, which has been handed over to my tutor. I really should write my postscript. I've been thinking about how to write this postscript for a long time. Finally, I think I might as well be a little maverick and write about my growth over the years, my search mood and my gratitude to those who have helped me and treated me well.

My fate with Yanyuan has been nearly seven years now, among which three years as a graduate student is particularly memorable. Remember what? First of all, my tutor, Mr. Jiang Tao. He taught me more than just academic knowledge. I got so much from him that I can't say what he taught me at the moment. I handed in my manuscript these days, and I am reading a book introducing the history of sociology in China, and I have gained a lot. As I read it, I thought, as a poet, why did Mr. Jiang spend so much effort to integrate sociology into his knowledge structure and thinking method? I think this answer is very important and related to the settlement of humanists. Based on my shallow understanding of sociology, I think the most important thing is to teach me to return to human life from the perspective of sociology. History may still be centered on great men, while sociology really pays attention to daily life and ordinary people. When a person is too thoughtful in his research, when he opens his sociological works, he will immediately see how ordinary people live. This complex world is presented to us. I'm still thinking, and I'm not thinking thoroughly, but I think I'm very excited to be exposed to such an idea during my graduate school, and I really benefited a lot. In my childish adolescence, I used to be a person who was full of tension about this era and its public life for a long time. When I was in middle school, I only learned to take the exam. My private reading and self-education turned me into a typical unsociable literary youth. At that time, although my belief in good things was sincere, I was keen and blind. The limitation of living environment and childish love in personality go to extremes, which makes me trust loneliness rather than communication, and fantasize about detachment rather than participation. I chose loneliness, but my loneliness is not the answer I gave to the world, it just shows that I hope but there is no answer. At that time, I had no one to talk to, but I identified countless companions in history, such as Ruan Ji and Ji Kang, such as Lu Xun who wrote Weeds, such as Baudelaire and Nietzsche ... I loved these people with the impulse of young people, but I couldn't love the world I lived in. I believe that all beautiful souls are painful, pure and lonely. I can't see these in this era, at least not in my narrow life circle. I think I was born at an inopportune time, and I am very pessimistic. I believe I will take a bitter road.

After four years of undergraduate study, I suffered from my familiarity with Peking University and my critical reflection on myself. At the same time, something very unfortunate happened to me personally. After I had a long-term exaggerated premonition of suffering, I finally ushered in suffering. This is the malice of fate, and it is also a logical fate. But with difficulties, pessimism and doubts, Peking University began to give me a possibility of growth. I still remember, and I will always remember something. For example, the contemporary literature class in Han Yuhai in my sophomore year was the biggest ideological shock I experienced during my undergraduate course. I began to understand the true leftist position bred by Peking University. They are never lonely or sad. They know how to be human, not just for themselves. As I heard in Dai Jinhua's class many years later, the criterion for judging a real leftist is whether he speaks from the standpoint of the weak. When I heard that, I suddenly understood. Lu Xun's pity for the weak is really more lovely than Lu Xun's resistance and despair. There is always love for suffering in Lu Xun's world. I thought of myself from Lu Xun, and the pain and struggle of my soul must return to the crowd and others, so that I can truly cherish myself and save myself.

Later, I started to study as a graduate student and began to learn from Mr. Jiang Tao. I still remember the first time I took teacher Jiang's class before. I was a junior at that time and I had never seen him. I only heard that he is a handsome poet. He was dressed in black when he stepped onto the platform. Before I spoke, I somehow thought of Mu Dan. I don't know how to describe it when I speak. In a word, Teacher Jiang's humor is wisdom, and wisdom is humor, which is inseparable. Later, I understood that profundity must experience pain, but profundity must transcend pain when it develops to an advanced stage. An advanced, calm and mature mind should be humorous. At first, I didn't think Mr. Jiang was like the poets I liked before, and his poems were not like those I read well. I once asked him why he didn't mention the other side at all in his mature spiritual structure, not because Nietzsche strongly opposed the other side of the world, but because he didn't pay attention to it at all. Teacher Jiang's poems and attitudes are based on the world, refusing to be melodramatic and sentimental: in his early years, he wrote about the feelings of frustration, gloom and struggle in urban life, but he used humorous and ironic techniques in his performance; In recent years, he has become more ambitious and painted a portrait of the life of the times. He once said that his goal is to write down the complex levels in the imperfect life of the world. This attitude makes me think deeply. Open to the world, calmly face and talk to all the sinister and tender feelings, richness and scarcity of the times. This is the true courage and wisdom, yearning for the other side. People are weak in comparison. Although they can get sympathy for their feelings of escaping from the world, it is by no means the determination that thinkers should follow. So I gradually pay attention to sociology as a resource. This knowledge is extreme, and it can really sort out the complex levels of people's lives in the world in detail. As a person who studies thoughts, we should know that thoughts are all human thoughts, so it is of great significance to pay attention to secular humanity. These days, I read the statistical analysis of the living conditions of urban and rural people in sociology books, which is very enlightening. I finally have a real and detailed understanding of the world where the literature I studied came from, and I can better know the position of new literature in it. I feel that I have come into contact with people with flesh and blood, and our work should be meaningful to them, just like those sociologists.

My graduation thesis on Fei Ming is my experience in reporting three years' study and thinking of graduate students. Paying attention to "After Mr. Xu Fei flies away" started from the third year of senior high school. Because I am a person who has been desperately looking for ideological support, reading this novel for the first time gave me great joy. Mr. Xu's attitude towards life, his enthusiasm for the fate of the country, his understanding of ordinary people, his sincerity in persuading the world and his poetic attitude towards hard life all excite me. I want to be like him. Later, I overheard Mr. Jiang's lecture on literature in the 1940s, and also talked about After Mr. Jiang flew, so I reread this work and became interested in research. In the research, my final idea is to start with the identity problem, which is my new understanding in the process of graduate study, that is, to examine the social relationship between people in a work, in which people establish themselves and practice themselves. In Fei Ming's After Flying, Fei Ming really participated in the rural society because of his reaction to himself in the 1930s and the new development of returning to the world. So at this time, it is necessary to find out Fei Ming, not what life he is involved in. What excites me about this novel is that it has already overflowed literature, extended to thinking about the whole life world, and found a conversion for people in this world (saving the secular Confucianism), but this kind of writing containing the whole life history has a more thorough poetic spirit. Of course, this poem should be understood in the broadest sense. In the process of designing and writing this paper, Mr. Jiang made a lot of efforts and discussed it back and forth with me. In this process, I also exercised my academic understanding and writing ability, and under the guidance of Mr. Jiang, I linked Fei Ming's case with his time, society, nationality and tradition, broadened my research horizons, and learned the truth of "seeing the big from the small". Teacher Jiang's patient guidance on my poetry creation in the past three years has also made me grateful. Although my poem is still immature, I have a good teacher to teach it, so I can watch myself make a little progress. The progress of this poem is behind the progress of my psychological structure. I really hope that this life of talking about poetry and enlightenment with teacher Jiang will never end. I also thank Mr. Wen Rumin for his concern and guidance. At the warm invitation of teacher Wen, I once brought my brothers and sisters to my home as guests. Teacher Wen also gave me some suggestions on designing my thesis. His encouragement and expectation to our younger generation inspired me. Jiangmen includes scholars and friends, which is also a precious fate for me. Sister Li, Sister Jin Juanxiu, Sister Liu Lu, Sister Zheng Shumin, Sister Liu, Sister Gao Youfeng, Sister Yang all accompanied me in my master's career, thanking them for giving me a warm teacher!

After writing my thesis, I will graduate. I would also like to thank Mr. Chen Pingyuan, not only because of the teaching I have gained through attending lectures and auditing his courses in the past three years, but also because he gave me the opportunity to continue studying in Yanyuan. Teacher Chen has always been a famous strict teacher. He is so strict and kind. His gentle style and elegant learning environment are admirable. I will be more strict with myself in the future study, and strive to hand in an academic paper that is recognized by the teacher and worthy of myself. At the same time, I would like to thank Chenmen's classmates, especially my brothers. During my PhD, Brother Ocean Lee gave me a lot of care and advice. I admire his enthusiasm and academic achievements very much. In addition, brother Zhang Yifan is also doing a fake name in the 1940s this year, and he collided with me. But fortunately, we forged a friendship on the same topic. Zhang Yifan's research is an inspiration to me. I hope I can also have the honor to learn from him in this paper. Because of Chen Nan's Excellence and enthusiasm, I have a hunch that my future doctoral life will be full and happy.

During my three-year study career, I would also like to thank all the teachers in the Modern Literature Teaching and Research Section for their help and teaching. Thanks to Wu Xiaodong, Feng Wang and Zhang Lihua, all three teachers have studied Fei Ming and discussed it with me. Teacher Wu gave me his research articles and made some good suggestions for my opening report. I was deeply impressed by his persistence in literature and his attitude towards life. He always seems to say, "literature can and should be loved", which makes people burned by literature insist on finding new ways to connect with literature in repeated self-adjustment. Teacher Wang selflessly guided me with his hard-working experience in compiling Fei Ming Ji, and discussed with me the initial "realism" and other issues. I like listening to Mr. Wang guiding students to write papers, and I feel that I have learned a lot about articles and academics every time. I also want to thank Mr. Wang for introducing Mr. Chen Jianjun to me. Mr. Chen Jianjun kindly gave me the letter he compiled. He was so enthusiastic to help unfamiliar students, which made me feel the honest character of scholars. When I first came into contact with Fei Ming, Teacher Zhang also discussed her Fei Ming thesis with me, and pointed out my design problems at the beginning. Thank you for her kind help! At the same time, I also thank Mr. Kong and Mr. Gao Yuandong for their guidance in opening the topic. Now, I present this imperfect paper to the teachers with anxiety and accept their criticism.

At the same time, I also want to thank many brothers and sisters majoring in modern literature, and even brothers and sisters of the Chinese Department of Peking University. Dong Yahui and Qu Nan chose to take the exam with me. We stayed together all the way, and now we have all passed the exam. We will work together in the academic field during the doctoral period. I hope we can continue to love each other and work together. My roommates,, and Hu are also my thanks. We helped each other and worked together to finally become a harmonious dormitory. All three of them have something to learn, and I am constantly improving myself in the process of getting along with them. Although, as I said before, I was unable to be a cheerful, positive and gregarious person because of the long-term inner entanglement in my youth and the direction of my life later, in fact, I was troubled by it, but I have changed a lot by getting along with so many outstanding peers. I hope I can do better and wish them all the best.

Finally, I want to thank my parents who have always loved me and unconditionally supported my academic pursuit. The road of life is not easy, but it is the greatest favor of God to stay with me all the time, comfort me when I am sad, and share my happiness with my parents when I am happy. They are not experts in the humanities, but they believe that my pursuit has its own value. This is an impetuous era of quick success and instant benefit. I sometimes feel lonely and doubt myself as a loner in an ivory tower. If the big waves of the times come, how can I persist? Although I have reached some kind of compromise with the world more and more. However, my parents, with their integrity and kindness, taught me the most important lesson in my life, letting me know that no matter where the waves of future times and destiny wrap me, I will never give up love, kindness and patience, which is the most important and difficult thing in my life.

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