In today's society, the relationship between men and women is quietly changing under the rapid economic development, and women play the dual roles of family and workplace at the same time. How men and women get along in this situation is a big proposition. In addition, men and women are originally "from different planets". It has been said that "men can't understand women 100%, and women can't understand men 100%", so it is a very important proposition whether men and women can live in harmony in the presence of many differences.
First of all, we should understand the difference between Martians and Venusians. Martians' values are "career is like life, and only when the career is successful can we feel that we have realized our self-worth". It is very important for them to reach and achieve their goals, so in the eyes of men, women point fingers and look down on him, thinking that he is weak and incompetent, just like a "bucket" that can't help; Men won't ask for help unless they have to. On Mars, it is very important to talk to others about your difficulties, not to vent your emotions, but to ask others for advice. The values of Venusians are: "Only by helping others, can one's own existence be considered valuable;" Only when the interpersonal relationship is handled perfectly can it be considered successful. "Therefore, Venusians pay special attention to love, communication, beauty and interpersonal relationships, not aiming at achieving goals, but paying more attention to improving emotional relationships; In the Venusian concept, helping others without asking for anything in return is the most selfless and greatest love. It is precisely because of this difference in goal orientation that he and she become "problem experts" and "transformation experts" respectively. Therefore, when a woman tries to transform a man and make him better, the subtext that the man reads is that he must have made a mistake and she wants to come up and fix him. In view of the differences listed above, the book gives suggestions: from now on, women should restrain themselves, give up any unsolicited help and critical criticism, and accept, respect and trust him; From this moment on, men should listen to what women are saying and respond with empathy and relief.
Men and women deal with stress differently. When the pressure comes, Martians tend to walk away quietly and think about their troubles quietly, while Venusians instinctively need to talk about their troubles to others. Faced with this contradiction, men and women should first respect each other's differences, so men should learn to listen and women should learn to accept and trust.
How to stimulate the enthusiasm of the opposite sex? Men's motivation is to feel needed by others, while women's motivation is to feel cherished by others. Therefore, men should overcome their inner resistance and take the initiative to give love; Women should eliminate inner barriers and actively accept love. This is especially important in family life. In real life, many women have paid too much for their families but have not received the same love and care. Therefore, smart women should learn to set a boundary for themselves, within which they can pay without regrets. If you exceed this line, you must be able to say "no" and grasp the scale of your own efforts in order to better accept each other's love and help.