Comments on the composition of primary school writers-my good friend
Mention my good friend, a feeling of admiration arises spontaneously. She is Li Hong. Speaking of her. Three characteristics? I should introduce you. Don't believe me, look!
Speaking of this first feature, that is? A tweeter? As long as you walk into the noisy classroom, the first voice you hear is her. So? Publicity Committee? The laurel will be hers! When talking in class, you can hear her voice no matter where you are in the classroom.
What is the second characteristic? Helpful? . Remember once, organized by the school? Gold coast? Play, because we went by bus. On the way, Yujie got carsick and threw up all over the floor. I thought to myself, Shit, I just sat in front of him and it stinks! ? Who can change seats with Yujie? Teacher Chen said. But everyone looked at you, you looked at me, and no one answered. Suddenly, a clear voice? Me? ! Students look inside, ah! It's Li Hong. Li Hong went to Yu Jie's seat and sat down, as if he didn't smell the bad smell, but he still sat casually. ? Yan Lihong, find your own pain! ? Suddenly, there was a lot of talk in the crowd, but I was moved by her.
? The fair Commissioner is here! ? Yes, Li Hong has always been impartial. Take the last time I borrowed a book for example! One sunny afternoon, I went to the library to borrow books, ah! What a coincidence! Li Hong is on duty today. When I borrowed books, Li Hong kept saying: Be careful, don't break it All right, all right! I'm bored to death! ? I said impatiently. But when my cousin came to my house to play at night, he accidentally tore several pages of the book. ? Oh, no, it's nine o'clock. It's too late to make up now. By the way, maybe Li Hong will forgive me tomorrow! ? I comforted myself. The next day, I went to the library to return books. Li Hong smiled and talked to me when he saw me coming. Suddenly, she frowned. Why is it broken so much? Shh, keep your voice down. I accidentally tore up the book. Nobody saw it anyway. Besides, do we need more? Iron sisters? So what! What? No, you can't pay it back until it is repaired. Go back and mend it! Hmm! Fix it, we'll see! ? When I finished, I muttered: I am not a friend. I broke a few pages and made such a fuss. Shi Xiao? Li Hong, did you catch up? We should cherish public property. If everyone is like this, then ... ok, I'll make it up! ? I bowed my head in shame, but I admired her in my heart!
Look! This is my friend Li Hong. Do you like her?
Comments:
1.？ Me? My good friend is a very distinctive person. What is the article introducing my friend? Three characteristics? At the beginning, the narrative is centered around these three characteristics.
2. The article created a pair of jeans? Me? The image of a good friend who is moved and admired. The description is vivid and rich in content, which fully embodies the characteristics of friends' loud voice, helping others and selfless dedication.
3. The language is fluent and clear, which reflects the personality characteristics of different characters through language description.
Comments on the composition of primary school writers Part II My deskmate
Hey, teacher, what a nuisance. Let me follow this? Ugly? Sitting together, you see: she is tall and thin, with dark skin, a little freckles on her face, yellow and forked hair, and her yellow teeth are exposed when she smiles, which makes people very uncomfortable. She has a bad temper. Yes, a male classmate bullied her the other day. She flew into a rage and started fighting. This is the first time in my life that I saw a girl fighting with a boy, and it was still very? Intense? Unbelievable. Ugly? Won.
I hate it when I think about it In a rage, I drew a line on the table? 38th parallel? Tell her: Don't call me, don't cross my line and don't take my things in the future. I'll do mine and you do yours. Doesn't matter. ? She buried herself in her homework without losing her temper. ? Hey! Did you hear that? This time, she may be angry. She just stared at me. I was so scared that I stuck out my tongue and started doing my homework at once.
Once in physical education class, the students were running in groups. I accidentally tripped over a harmful stone and fell on my back in public. It's embarrassing. ? Ugly? After reading it, she quickly helped me up. I stood up, pushed her hand away and said loudly, Go away, ugly, I am unlucky to be with you? Ugly? Gave me a strange look and walked away. Now, I am afraid that she will hit me, and I think to myself: get an ambulance ready. But that day, nothing happened.
The mid-term exam came in a blink of an eye. Take the math exam before taking the Chinese exam. Unfortunately, when I was writing a book, the ballpoint pen suddenly broke down, which worried me to death. How to do this mid-term exam, but with parents? Say hello? Yes, I borrowed it from Wang Li, but I didn't. On weekdays, this cheapskate can't even borrow paper towels, let alone ballpoint pens. Borrow it from Guo Lin. No, he wants it more than me? Poor? So what! Don't let me ask? Ugly? Excuse me. I'm usually so hard on her. She must be ... I'm anxious like an ant on hot bricks. Right now? Ugly? He seemed to find me out of the corner of his eye, and when he saw me in a hurry, he immediately understood and handed me a blue ballpoint pen. ......
? Ugly? Actually, it's not ugly, it's beautiful. Let me tell you a little secret. Ugly? You don't hit girls.
Comments:
1. Is the article about the beginning? Me? I was a little dissatisfied with my deskmate's looks and temperament, so I disagreed with my deskmate everywhere, and finally got through one thing. Me? I really realized the beauty of my deskmate's mind. The reference to nicknames not only highlights the characteristics of the characters, but also reflects the emotional color of the article.
2. The description of the article is meticulous and vivid, and the language of the characters is personalized, which conforms to the characteristics of the characters and depicts the vivid images of the characters.
3. The content is concrete and substantial, the structure is complete, the language is fluent and clear, and the true feelings of the little author are revealed between the lines.
The composition evaluation of primary school writers 1 is accurate in language, vivid in image and extremely rich and specific in content.
2, the end of the article is unconventional, giving people the feeling of wanting to rest.
Through vivid language description, readers seem to be in a dream.
4. Focus on expressing emotions at the end, give consideration to the beginning and summarize the full text. Coherent from beginning to end, in one go.
5. Delicate description of the characters' language, manner and movements is a major feature.
6, the beginning is extraordinary, attracting readers.
7. The beginning of the article is novel and serves as a warning. Let readers produce characters as soon as they meet? In my mind.
8, with a complete * * *, describes the
9. The narrative is natural and vivid, with compact structure, coherent connection with nature and prominent center.
10, focused, detailed and appropriate, with specific contents.
1 1. Is this article an introduction? Me? This painting depicts his father and mother, and the opening is very novel. The author described the parents' appearance and clothes in concise and accurate language, and what is more commendable is to highlight the characteristics of the characters. What is the description and imagination of the characters' appearance in the article? Strange, let's go. Wow, shall we go to the seaside? Be reasonable and bring more surprises to readers.
12, with feeling switch and feeling at the end. In this way, the article is coordinated from beginning to end, and the theme of the article is repeated, which is very infectious.
13, this article is a masterpiece. At first, I used action description and language description to describe my mother's laziness at home. Later, I changed a pen to describe my mother's responsibility for work at school. It was really to promote first and then restrain. At the end, I thought of my teacher Liu, which caused readers to think.
14, the teacher's hard work, in exchange for your beautiful writing, how worthwhile. From your rich and beautiful vocabulary, we can feel your solid language skills, and you can have a complete structure and clear conditioning. This is a good article.
15, the details are quite clever. Extremely rich in skills.
16, practicing vivid language, focusing on describing a smiling, polite and enthusiastic meat stall owner. After reading it, admiration comes from leisurely, which is in sharp contrast with the following nasty things and highlights the hatred behind the smile. Use at the end of the exercise? Behind that smile, right? Stick to the theme? Behind the smile? It has an infinite effect.
17, the article is novel in material selection, which arouses readers' desire to read.
18, for the description of the scenery, the language is concise and accurate, while the association is touching the scene and the scene blends naturally.
19, the use of some subtle words adds a lot of interest to the article.
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