Classic case of workplace emotional intelligence
Pay attention to and ask each other's feelings.
As mentioned earlier, people with low emotional intelligence are often confused? Intention and result? Hope? Good intentions are rewarded? . But people with high emotional intelligence will have a clear consciousness, you know? Intention is not equal to result? Kindness may also make the other person uncomfortable. They will take each other's feelings as the ultimate standard, not their own ideas. But we are not worms in other people's stomachs. It is not enough to rely solely on observation. Therefore, people with high emotional intelligence will take the initiative to pay attention to and ask each other's feelings. For example, when I was working on a Porsche project, I accompanied the project leader of the German headquarters and visited the dealers in China. Everywhere he goes, he will ask people related to * * * a question: Are you happy (are you happy? )? And will find ways to help each other solve the problem. In fact, he is a person with great leadership and high emotional intelligence. Others have strong reading ability.
By the way, gossip: I find that people who look like Pisces often have a strong ability to perceive other people's emotions. Interesting things have happened: people with high emotional intelligence have stronger ability to understand each other's feelings, but they will take the initiative to ask each other's feelings; People with low emotional intelligence have poor ability to observe and interpret each other's emotions, but rarely ask each other's feelings. Of course, this is not contradictory: if you don't understand each other's feelings, then it is difficult for you to improve. In the long run, the ability is getting worse and worse.
Be good at encouraging and praising others.
Everyone likes to be affirmed and praised.
Unfortunately, in real life, most people will hit people consciously or unconsciously.
Dale. Carnegie wrote in How to Win Friends and Influence Others:
Charles. Schwab was the first American company to earn more than1000000 dollars a year (there was no income tax at that time, and a person earning $50 a week was considered rich). 192 1 The newly established American steel company was founded by Andrew? Carnegie chose a new chairman, when Schwab was only 38 years old. (Schwab later left the American Steel Company to take over the troubled Bethlehem Steel Company, and he rebuilt it into one of the most profitable companies in the United States. )
Why is Andrew Carnegie willing to pay10 million dollars a year or 3,000 dollars a day to Charles Schwab? Why? Because Schwab is a genius? That's not true. Because they still know more about steel than others? Not exactly. Charles Schwab himself told me that his workers knew more than he did.
Schwab said that he got such a huge salary because of his ability to communicate with people. I asked him how he did it. He personally said the following sentence; These words should be engraved on medals and hung in every home school, every shop and office. These words should be remembered by every child. These words will change your life and mine. I think my ability is to inspire and inspire people around me. Schwab said. For me, the best way to create, help a person develop and motivate him is to thank and encourage him.
Schwab made this, but how do ordinary people do it? On the contrary. If they don't like something, they will growl at their subordinates. If they like it, they say nothing. There is a cloud in ancient poetry: a storm of blame for not doing well. You do well every time. Calm down.
The polarization between the rich and the poor in the field of emotional intelligence
In the field of wealth, the gap in the whole society is getting bigger and bigger. An important reason why the rich get richer is that money makes money quickly. In the field of emotional intelligence, there is a similar phenomenon of polarization between the rich and the poor. People with high EQ tend to develop higher EQ, because they have enough ability to get feedback from others and get in touch with better people. People with low emotional intelligence are prone to fall into a vicious circle. It's easy to bring negative influence to others, and it's also easy to feel hurt => Others are unwilling to deal with it and give real feedback => It's difficult to make progress => Inferiority => More afraid of dealing with people =>? .
The embodiment of high emotional intelligence in the workplace
First, empathize and understand.
When observing problems, people are used to starting from their own point of view, only considering their own interests, wishes and emotions, and taking it for granted. So it is often difficult to understand others, and it is difficult to communicate with others. In real life, it can be seen everywhere that the public says that the public is right, and the old woman says that the old woman is right. The same is true between two groups and two ethnic groups. In fact, as long as you stand in an objective position, you will find that both sides of the conflict almost don't understand each other at all and don't understand each other at all. If you want to deal with your interpersonal relationship with others, the most important thing you need to do is to change your one-way observation and thinking from your own point of view, but to observe and think for each other from their own point of view, that is, to look at each other from their own point of view. On this basis, understand what others mean. In this way, there is a more reasonable way to deal with interpersonal relationships. If you can't look at each other squarely and understand each other, there will be no new interpersonal relationship.
Second, treat others equally and don't force them.
This principle is the golden rule that must be followed in dealing with interpersonal relationships. This is the true equal treatment and the spirit of equality that has been applied throughout the ages. All men are born equal, and everyone's personality and dignity should be respected. If you don't understand this, there will be so many wishful thinking and so many unreasonable people. ? Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you? This old saying makes sense. We should follow our colleagues, subordinates, friends, partners or lovers. This is the experience summed up by the ancients in the long-term social life, and it is the rule that we must follow when dealing with people.
Third, learn to share and push it to others.
When you share your happiness with others, your happiness becomes two kinds of happiness; When you share your thoughts with others, there will be more sparks of thought. Similarly, desires can also be satisfied together. Think about what you want, and what others may want. When you are eager for a sense of security, you should understand others' needs for security and even help others achieve it. If you are eager to be understood, cared for and loved, you should know how to give others understanding, care and love as much as possible. Giving others understanding and care will adjust and harmonize their relationship at a high level, and also adjust their state well. This good state comes from both the return of the other party and yourself? Pay? Result. Be kind to others and be kind to yourself at the same time. You might as well write down the attitude you most want from others and ask yourself, and then you will feel that others also have these hopes. Being generous to others in these aspects is the most correct attitude to deal with interpersonal relationships.
Fourth, appreciate others and encourage others.
Everyone wants to be appreciated and encouraged. Being appreciated and encouraged by others can give people a strong motivation for life and struggle. At a very young age, the appreciation of parents will make us develop actively and excitedly, and the appreciation of teachers will make students study hard. After entering the society, the appreciation of leaders and colleagues is one of the greatest motivations for a person's work. Being good at appreciating others is the greatest kindness to others and the most mature personality. If you appreciate it too little, genius will wither. We also need appreciation and encouragement, so why not give others appreciation and encouragement first?
Five, willing to pay, pay to return.
There is no free lunch in this world and no pie in the sky. Your income is always in direct proportion to your efforts. I don't want to provide free lunch to irrelevant people, however, when it's my turn, he doesn't understand the truth. When others achieve something, they want to share it. Others have money and want to get some light. Others have fame and status, and it seems that everyone should share a little. Throughout the ages, everyone knows that getting something for nothing and getting something for nothing are disgusting. If the idea of free lunch comes to mind, it will often make people cringe and have a bad mentality, and it will not be effective in the long run. Some people don't ask for a free lunch, but the same psychological activities continue. Jealous of others all day long, his psychology is always unbalanced, which makes him very painful. Let go of the heart of asking for a free lunch, and you will be quieter and more confident and enterprising. Learn to give generously to others, and there will be many sincere returns when you are in trouble.
Training skills of high emotional intelligence in the workplace
1, be friendly and flexible.
When you have a conflict with others, it is more egoism than the problem itself. It is essential to learn to be flexible rather than fighting in most aspects of life. There are many ways to achieve the goal. If one way is different, take another way. Building your goals on concrete and your plans on sand will help you get along with others better.
2. Show positive body language
If you are relaxed and confident, people will feel relaxed with you; If you are nervous, they have the same reaction. Therefore, the way you walk and talk is very important. We should consciously cultivate our awareness of good posture. When you send positive body signals, people will involuntarily respond better to you.
Step 3 keep a pleasant voice
No one will think that he speaks too loudly. In fact, this will make many people feel bored. If you want people to respond to you enthusiastically, you have to make your voice sound like? Smile? For example. Whether they can see your face or not, they will react.
4. Express your beliefs appropriately.
Your personal beliefs may attract some people, but not all of them. Although we hope that our lives can reflect our beliefs, and we are willing to share them with those who want to know how beliefs change our lives, we should express our beliefs appropriately. Learn to be gentle with others and never be rude and annoying. If you want to influence others, you should take them seriously and respect them, and they will respect you more.
Step 5 listen carefully
Successful people are good listeners. If you want to succeed, you must first listen to people sincerely and ask them questions sincerely. There is a proverb that goes well. ? People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care about them. ? Looking into each other's eyes and listening to each other's voice can better express your sincerity and concern.
Step 6 get ready
Sometimes, you are afraid to meet others because you are unprepared for this situation. Most people have had this experience. If you are not ready to talk or nervous, it is difficult for you to communicate with each other well. Getting ready is part of building a good interpersonal relationship.
7, true and credible
People need to feel that they can trust us and believe that we will treat them honestly and think of their interests everywhere. We must always be honest, credible and reliable. If you treat people with sincerity and really care about their situation, they will feel and react. Sincerity can win you good interpersonal relationships.
8. Find the landing site
People are like islands. You are driving on the island, trying to find a port and a boat to dock. If you want to find a docking? Port? , it is necessary to find some advantages of people and take him as the starting point. In this way, you will have a * * * sound with him.
9. Build a bridge
Wise people pay special attention to building bridges with others, no matter how insignificant they seem at the time. Never make unnecessary enemies. There are important spiritual, logical and moral principles behind this principle. Learning the art and principle of bridge building will bring you rich returns. In any case, you should open your door to as many people as possible.
10, compassionate