1. Know your own abilities correctly.

Having a clear self-awareness and insisting on doing what you are good at is the most critical first step to not become a mediocre person.

Once a person knows what he can do well and what he can't do well, he can give full play to the strategy of "fostering strengths and avoiding weaknesses" and expand his original advantages ten or even twenty times. Instead of being brave, it is better to blindly challenge the field that does not belong to you;

Not inferiority complex. We compare our shortcomings with the advantages of others.

We can fully understand ourselves from four aspects: self-understanding, others' evaluation, social feedback and self-reflection.

2. The ability to bottom out

Some people feel that they can't see the future because of temporary failures and setbacks, so they completely deny themselves and don't want to fight any more. Finally, they choose to give up their lives and spend the rest of their lives comfortably and mediocre. ...

Don't give up at any time, strengthen your heart, and have the ability and courage to stand up again even if you fall to the bottom!

You have to pay for a comfortable life in advance. The mistakes you make and the price you pay are all the tuition fees we give you for your life.

The more you are in adversity, the more you should be brave and tell yourself that the road is not over yet. Do your best, give yourself a chance to turn against the wind and bump into the life you want!

3. Self-control ability

Bernard Shaw once said, "Self-control is the instinct of the strongest".

But many people lack self-control.

Can't control the diet, and as a result, the weight soars;

You can't control your emotions, and as a result, you hurt the people who love you;

I can't control the time of playing mobile phone, which delays my study and work. ...

People who know self-discipline, that is, people who can control themselves, are terrible and worthy of respect. They have a strong sense of time, know how to improve themselves and are more likely to succeed.

If you want to improve your self-control, you can control your life by going to bed early and getting up early, changing your sleep habits, and then controlling your diet and emotions.

4. Ability to read deeply

High-value reading must be based on in-depth reading, so that concentration and thinking can be transformed into productivity.

In the era of information fragmentation, this ability has become a scarce ability, because we are used to reading online articles and stay in a paragraph for no more than 10 seconds.

When we lose this deep reading ability, it means that the most important function of our brain-thinking-is abandoned by us.

In this impetuous society, we really need to calm down, give ourselves at least 1 hour of focused time every day, take every paragraph we meet seriously and feel the power of thinking, instead of living in the "The Truman Show" built by others for you.

5. Ability to think independently and deeply

When you are young, hard work is very cheap.

More important than cheap diligence is independent and in-depth thinking.

Never use tactical diligence to make up for strategic laziness. Copying and writing every day, repeating simple labor, paralyzing myself with this low-quality diligence, manifested as meaningless overtime, staring blankly in the library, procrastinating during the day and staying up late at night to catch up with work, euphemistically saying that I am trying. It doesn't mean anything except being touched by yourself!

Give yourself a period of time every day, stay away from the mobile phone computer, calm down and save the gains and losses;

Be wary of any "authority" brainwashing you, don't easily agree with other people's views, and think independently.

6. Ability to build a knowledge system

Reading is only the first step of the Long March. It is important to establish a knowledge system later so that the brain can absorb this knowledge.

Constructing knowledge system is the ability that lifelong learners must master. That is, build your own brain system, summarize one-sided knowledge, and integrate some fragmentary, scattered and relatively independent knowledge concepts or viewpoints to form an interconnected whole.

Establish our own knowledge system, so that we can keep learning in the development of life, truly apply what we have learned and form our own wealth.

It is recommended to use mind mapping tools to build knowledge system: X-mind and curtain.

7. The ability to delay satisfaction

It's cool to stay up late playing mobile phone, but the opportunity cost is weak will, poor health, less hair and strong guilt;

Playing games before the exam is pleasant, and the opportunity cost is less review time, which brings extreme anxiety and poor exam results;

Sleeping late in the morning is comfortable, but the opportunity cost is a huge waste of energy and a loss of time control in one day. ...

People who like "instant satisfaction" always pay attention to the immediate happiness and gains, and selectively forget the long-term losses.

The future is more important than the present happiness.

Only by delaying satisfaction can we enjoy a more pleasant opportunity.

8. Ability to execute immediately

The collapse of adult life began with procrastination.

"do it tomorrow", "do it later" and "have a rest" The accumulation of one thing will make you more and more anxious, and then the whole pace of life will be completely chaotic.

In fact, the reserves of good reasons are similar, and the core is execution. Sensitivity to high-quality content and super execution are the key to widening the gap between people.

We can refine our goals and tasks, set deadlines and force ourselves to do it at once!

Also, when you see your progress, you can reward yourself appropriately and let yourself have the motivation to continue ~

9. The ability of continuous learning

Learning is a way for everyone to complete self-transformation.

Education represents the past, and learning ability represents the future.

It doesn't matter where you are today, what matters is how you will continue to iterate in the next few years.

People who know how to constantly empower themselves through persistent learning, even ordinary people, will eventually have the hope and possibility to turn over against the wind.

No matter ordinary people or cattle people, as long as they keep learning, only by keeping learning can they run farther and farther in their track life.

10. The ability to review and reflect

Socrates once said: "Life without reflection is not worth living".

The reason why many people work hard but never make progress is actually because they keep repeating their mistakes and fall into the same "pit".

Reflection is one of the skills we should master in life, and it is also the core of our deliberate practice in work and life. Summing up the successful experience and finding the lessons of failure from what we have done can help us understand the essence of the problem and correct our mistakes, so as to truly and effectively improve ourselves.

Specifically, the four-step method can be used for rewinding:

Review objectives-comparison of results-analysis of reasons-summary of laws.

1 1. Independent ability of others.

At any time, we should take our destiny into our own hands. Even a girl, after marriage, you are no one's accessory. You have your own value and life.

No one can live without him. You should always love yourself.

Have an enterprising heart, do not rely on others, and maintain economic independence, ideological independence and spiritual independence. Slowly, I don't need to return, I don't have too much timidity, I'm not afraid of losing, I don't depend on others, I can rely on myself very well, and I can make my life wonderful by myself.

May you and I be strong, independent and warm inside.

The ability to love yourself.

Don't pin your love on others, loving yourself is the beginning of a romantic life.

People who love themselves get rid of the fear of not being loved, so they allow themselves to be themselves.

People who have the ability to please themselves will not pin their emotions on those of others, but will be responsible for their emotions and feelings. However, most people please others every day, but they are not happy.

In fact, happiness is very simple, such as watching a movie, eating a big meal, buying a favorite dress, decorating a comfortable room, singing birds and flowers in the morning and setting the sun at night. ...

As long as you stop and wait for your soul, everything is profound.

13. The ability to calm down quickly

Many troubles and problems in life are the result of our emotions. When you are confused, you will say everything. When your brain is hot, you will resign, and impulsively you will hit people. ...

Born as a human being, there are bound to be many things that make you angry, sad and anxious. However, you should learn not to have a hard time with yourself and make your life easier, because the rules of this society require us to deal with problems in a rational way.

14. Ability to persist

Ordinary people without background and resources, insisting on doing one thing will make you surpass 90% of your peers, and even leave behind those who have a higher starting point than you.

Singing, photography, painting, design ... find a hobby that you can stick to for more than 10 years, stick to it and continue to cultivate deeply. After 5 years, you will get huge returns;

10 years later, you can do the ultimate thing with this, surpassing the life and achievements of 90% of your peers.

15. Ability to maintain high concentration

Li Xiaolai once said, "Attention is the most precious wealth you have."

All your value creation activities are in exchange for your attention.

People with high concentration are also efficient and often get twice the result with half the effort. Whether studying or working, they can walk faster than others. Meditation, deep breathing, planning in advance and a quiet and comfortable environment are all conducive to improving your concentration.

16. Ability to express correctly

In life, we often encounter this embarrassing situation: praise others, but the other party thinks we are telling lies: a word, the other party may think we are accusing him. Finally, the more you explain, the more chaotic and embarrassing the situation and the rigid relationship.

Modesty has become hypocrisy, concern has become ingratiation, and confidence has become narcissism. ...

It's all because we can't express it.

If you want to express your views correctly, first of all, you should dare to express and speak.

At the same time, we should constantly learn knowledge, exercise our expressive ability, and learn more about the expression of various problems at ordinary times.

17. The ability to dare to refuse others

Refuse to understand on the wine table, and finally get drunk; I was embarrassed to refuse my colleague's request at work, and finally I didn't finish the task and worked overtime until the early hours of the morning. ...

People who don't know how to refuse are "good people" in the eyes of others. Others take advantage of you, not only do not thank you, but also take it for granted, and they will be blamed for not doing well.

Life is so precious, shouldn't we spend our time and energy on something more valuable?

Just like there is a saying: not being responsible for other people's emotions is your highest self-discipline.

We need to have "the courage to be hated", and we need to have the courage to refuse unfair demands, because we have our own lives to live!

Recommended books: the courage to be hated and your kindness must be sharp.