A girl in 1997 was "broken up" and sent me a private message, crying that her boyfriend was too rude, and there were heartbreaking voices between the lines.

She said that I would wait downstairs in his dormitory every morning, and the two of us would go to the canteen to have breakfast together. If he doesn't want to go, I will pack a copy and take it back to him, or I will buy milk and bread in the small supermarket downstairs and put it in his desk. As long as he goes to the library, I will accompany him. Even if I don't like reading, I will borrow one and look around him seriously. Every summer vacation, I always want to go home, but as soon as I see him staying at school for a part-time job, I will return my train ticket and work with him wholeheartedly. I'm afraid he will be lonely alone.

She said that when I had a weekend off, I obviously wanted to go shopping. As soon as I heard that he was going to play ball, I gave up the idea of "buy buy Buy" and stood in the crowd to cheer for him. He was ill, so I asked for leave to accompany him for infusion, and even failed a final exam.

She said, I love him so much, why doesn't he love me?

Seeing this, I suddenly remembered a recent drama "The Best of Us". She was very simple and devoted to Han Xu, but obviously she wanted to be a girlfriend, but she always existed as a nanny.

I answered her because you love him so much that he doesn't love you. If you don't leave all the time, it will only suffocate him. If you give too much love, he will only treat you as air.

In a love relationship, we always want to be close, but forget to keep a proper distance. This is why most of our first love ends in lovelorn love, and the relationship between husband and wife is often not harmonious enough. 24 hours a day, we can't wait to be tied to each other every minute. We want to intervene in everything that TA handles. When TA is not around, we will start a phone bombing on the left and the right.

As a result, we abandoned love in the name of love. We hugged each other tightly, but we had to part.

02

When I was in high school, two classmates had a good relationship. In private, everyone calls them "Dabao Bauer" to show their intimacy.

In a group activity, for some reason, Bauer was bullied by a male classmate in other classes. This is bullying, but in fact, it is at best a verbal insult. In his early years, Bauer suffered from mild polio and his left leg was inconvenient to walk, which has always been a shadow in his heart. Generally speaking, children who grow up like this have high self-esteem. Bauer ran to tell Dabao and wiped his tears as he spoke.

How can Dabao stand being bullied? In middle school, the friendship between male students was more or less Jianghu. Before Bauer could finish, he rushed to the other party's classroom, pulled the boy out and gave him a good beating.

How vicious? When the boy was hospitalized, Dabao's parents paid a sum of money and apologized in public.

Afterwards, it is only natural that Dabao was reprimanded by his parents. However, to his surprise, when he returned to school, Bauer also complained that he was too impulsive. I'm just depressed and want to chat with my friends and vent,' Mr. Bauer said. Who would have thought you would hit them?

After listening to Bauer, Dabao said nothing. A relationship broke down. From then on, there were no more big treasures and two treasures in the class, and they were replaced by Super Brother and Xiaoming. We all know what Brother Chao didn't say-as a friend, I stood up for you for the first time. Am I wrong?

Can't be wrong, but it's not appropriate. No matter how close a pair of friends are, they are also two independent individuals. A friend's business is a friend's business. You can make suggestions, but you can't practice them. You think this can promote friendship, but it is actually consuming friendship.

There is a debate topic in "Qi Pa Shuo", which is "My best friend asked me to tear up my mistress, so I can't go". I wouldn't go if it were me. First of all, in my opinion, mistress doesn't deserve to be torn. Secondly, whether to tear or not is your own business. I can make suggestions, but I have no right to interfere.

Friends are not conjoined babies. Give up one, and the other can't live. Friends are, in the bustling traffic, find a cool place, we have a cup of afternoon tea, in the fragrant tea, say something irrelevant. Independent, but appreciate each other.

03

Aman is 28 years old. Like many single girls of her age, she was miserable under the strong urging of her parents to get married.

Even during the three-day Dragon Boat Festival, I was forced to kiss five times, almost twice a day. Before I know this boy, I will face the next strange boy. In Aman's words, this is not a blind date, but an interview.

We often joke with Aman, adding fuel to the flames, and strive for ten photos a day to dominate the "blind date world".

In China, urging marriage has become a basic national condition. Almost all young people, especially girls, have been urged by their parents, and they are often heckled and questioned-"You can't get married when you are older", "It's even harder to get married after taking the postgraduate entrance examination" and "Girls just want to get married".

China's parents, most of whom live by their children, regard their children's affairs as their own and criticize their lives wantonly. From middle school liberal arts to college entrance examination, from finding a job after graduation to finding an object, they want to walk for their children every step of the way, and they want to experience and feel for themselves at every stage. It can be said that this is tantamount to a spiritual kidnapping. And such kidnapping is intimacy and love in their eyes.

This intimate relationship has alienated the relationship between parents and children, and will only become more and more alienated. They don't know that staying away from children is actually a way to get close to them.

In a big way, the relationship between parents and children is the relationship between the two countries. It's serious to hold your own territory. If you don't come to me today to command soldiers, I'll come to you tomorrow to suppress the people, even the basic respect can't be achieved. How can you talk about love?

04

Living in this world, everyone should have a "38th parallel" in their hearts. Just like sitting at the same table when I was a child, don't come to me with your elbow, and I will remember not to invade your territory. Especially between close people.

The "38th parallel" seems to push away our distance, but it actually draws our hearts closer. Everyone is an independent individual, everyone has his own way of thinking and living habits, everyone has a different world outlook from others, and everyone needs to be alone sometimes. If you want to be close to someone, you should distance yourself appropriately.

In life, we generally lack a sense of distance.

You must be familiar with this sentence-he is my friend and I have an obligation to help him out. She is my daughter. I don't care who cares about her marriage. He is my husband. Of course I want to know where he went, what he was doing and who he was with.

Yes, whether intentionally or unintentionally, we always set foot in other people's world and guide other people's lives in the name of love, and in the end, we personally killed this love. We are always eager to get close to someone, and we get lost in the middle. The terrible thing is that the other party is getting closer and closer, and it is getting more and more suffocating.

Proper distance, beauty and excessive intimacy are all sins.

Perhaps, the most ideal state between people is to stand on two trees, grow up in their own soil, and take over the sunshine and rain of the world together. The sound of the breeze blowing and the leaves flying is our soul mate. Silence is the best language for each other on windless days.