Similarly, have you ever had such an experience:
Their children are not enterprising.
My other half is a nag.
Colleagues in the company have low quality.
The company leaders are emotional.
Even thought he was an idiot.
Indeed, in life or work, when we get into some difficulties or encounter some setbacks, we can't help labeling ourselves, such as: I'm an idiot, I'm unlucky, I'm really bad, and so on.
Is that really the case? What is the reason for labeling yourself? How to tear off the negative label attached to your body?
Today, I brought you a book. The contents of the book may help us tear off the label quickly.
Book introduction: book: having a solution-the key to solving problems efficiently.
This book takes KSME's seven-step method as the core, helping readers sort out problems, find allies, analyze the current situation, see the direction clearly, make plans and implement actions. With the help of more than 30 gadgets, this book accurately solves readers' common problems such as "confused goal", "difficult choice", "procrastination", "self-denial", "unable to find the key because of trivial matters" and "going it alone", and helps readers turn inevitable problems into unexpected opportunities.
Although the "appearance" of the problem is ever-changing, the core remains the same. The theme of this book has been applied to the personnel training of more than 0/00 enterprises, schools or institutions such as China Mobile, Ping An of China, People's Bank of China and Renmin University of China, affecting hundreds of thousands of people. After 10 years and more than 30,000 real cases, this problem-solving system is suitable for many fields such as workplace, family, parent-child and personal growth.
The harmfulness of negative suggestion
I remember when I was at school, there was a female classmate in my class, because she had a brown birthmark on her face, and she was very withdrawn and inferior. Whether walking or attending class, she always keeps her head down. The hair is also thick and long, covering half of the face tightly. Since childhood, parents often look at her face and sigh:
How ugly it is for a girl to have a birthmark on her face. It is really worrying!
What's wrong with this birthmark? Why does it grow on your face?
If this birthmark is not cured for life, how can I get married in the future!
Later, this female classmate had an operation in a plastic surgery hospital, and the birthmark on her face was removed by seven or eight points. With makeup on, you can hardly see it. But she still has a low self-esteem, and she habitually walks with her head down. From the moment she was born, her family always hinted that it was ugly to have a birthmark on her face. If it is not cured, no one will like her in the future. This "ugly suggestion" has been deeply rooted in her heart. Even if the birthmark on her face is removed later, the psychological "birthmark" will always be branded in her heart.
Negative suggestion is a common mistake we make in life, such as in the workplace:
It's careless of you to make mistakes in such a simple form!
It's no use not recruiting this position for so long!
These people are not well managed. What else can you do?
If we often hear this from our superiors, we will unconsciously hint to ourselves: I'm so careless, I'm so stupid, I'm really useless ~, I'm sure I can't do it well this time, and I'll be criticized again! Over time, you really become a person with no confidence.
Too many negative hints will stick to us like labels.
How to tear off the negative label attached to yourself?
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First, vigilance: the harm of subconscious high generalization
High generalization is a rare ability, and it is a process in which the brain summarizes the similarities and differences of things on the basis of comparison and abstraction.
Generally speaking, it is not easy to generalize the problem, which requires special training, otherwise it is easy to generalize.
In daily life and work, everyone is generalizing, and many times, people don't realize this. This means that our generalization is very casual. However, this casual generalization has unconsciously brought harm to others, and even added many obstacles to the development of their relationship with important stakeholders and the solution of the king of problems.
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Second, expose the truth behind negative labels and deny yourself or others.
Many opinions in life are often highly generalized. When repeated, some ideas become labels, tightly attached to people, like a cage.
When we are labeled (sometimes others, sometimes ourselves): I am stupid, have a bad attitude and emotional, we can't find ourselves, and we will abuse ourselves or others through these negative labels; Thus losing infinite possibilities.
For example, when you post "I'm so stupid" for yourself, you won't notice that you are a smart person, and you can have unlimited room for improvement;
When you post "bad mentality" for yourself, you will not notice how you face difficulties and forget that you were originally a sunny person.
Each of us has a beautiful name, and behind everyone's name, there are infinite blessings, expectations and hopes. Therefore, when we are labeled with some negative labels or ourselves, we should re-examine the name of our life, the beauty and expectation behind it, and then bravely tear off the negative labels attached to our bodies. After all, no one can label you as long as you don't label yourself negatively!
Third, change your thinking and pay attention to what you want.
It is not easy to tear off negative labels. Many times, we try to tear it up, and soon it will come back.
How to crack it?
1. Focus on what you want.
Instead of spending time and energy resisting existing labels, focus on what you want now and label yourself positively.
2. Appreciative feedback or (positive attention)
For example, you used to be labeled as "careless" by others. Whenever you go out with something, praise yourself. Wow, everything is done. I am a thoughtful little genius. This kind of beautiful behavior can be continuously strengthened through repetition.
Fourth, affirm yourself from a beautiful label.
Pay attention to good behavior and commonness from the heart, and the negative label will really be torn off by yourself. We can try the following methods:
1. Prepare a piece of paper you like and draw a table (two columns and multiple rows).
2. Think carefully about what beautiful labels you want to put on yourself and fill them on the left side of the form;
3. Choose an important person in your heart and fill in the label you want to label Ta on the right side of the form.