Goodbye to youth, my love for you will never change.

In September 2004, I came to Beijing from a small town in the southwest to study. The first time I traveled far from home, the first time I took the train, I was still alone.

In Beijing in late spring and early summer, the sky is high and blue. The first time I set foot in Beijing, it was a rickety platform, just at Beijing West Railway Station. Trembling feeling, like the devil's footsteps. At the same time, the dry air made my whole body skin burst.

Oh, no, the west station is so big. How can it shake? It's just that my senses are shaking and I've been sitting in a hard seat for 28 hours.

The brother who picked up the station was slender, fair-skinned, handsome and warm. My brother's white T-shirt is actually the same style as our high school uniform, pure. When we first met, my brother and I actually wore "lovers' clothes".

Walking on the North Square of Beijing West Railway Station, the square was crowded with people. Under the big round pillar, a young man sat on the ground leaning against the pillar. A woman of the same age was lying on his lap. They all looked haggard and snuggled up to each other, with two big woven bags as luggage next to them.

This scene left a deep impression on me and will be like an echo in my later life.

My brother grabbed my big backpack, pulled up my big suitcase and took me on the rickety 320 bus.

When I came to the school gate, my brother asked me what I thought, and I said, it's the same as the photo on the admission notice. It just looks a little wobbly.

My senior brother took me to report, ran the stalls in every process, helped me with the bedding, took me to the dormitory, made the bed, put the mattress and covered the quilt cover. And I stood by, and the whole person was still in a state of rickety.

In Beijing in early September, it was still around 30℃ during the day, and the temperature was still high. We all wore short sleeves.

Accustomed to sleeping on a mat in the south, I was particularly surprised when I first saw the mattress. I was even more surprised when I saw my brother put a mattress on it, and finally a sheet. "It's so hot, do you need to spread one layer after another?"

The elder brother said, "You will know at night."

After cleaning up in the dormitory, it's dinner time. Big Brother took me to the West Gate for dinner. I still remember that restaurant was called "hometown restaurant". In the later period of college, the appearance rate of this restaurant was quite high, which witnessed many joys and sorrows. Today, it no longer exists.

The brother pointed to a community in Ximen and said, "Look, the house price in this community is 8,000 yuan per square meter, which is really sky-high!"

Well, it's really expensive. My family can't even afford the college tuition of 4,800 yuan a year (thanks to the student loan policy) or even the extra hard seat ticket for the train. What about now after more than ten years? We'll talk later.

After dinner, my brother took me to the supermarket to buy daily necessities. I have a shoulder bag with me, and I left it in the supermarket. When I checked out, I found my wallet in the cupboard, and my brother helped me check out. I am embarrassed.

Later, my brother took me to the bathhouse and said outside the door, upstairs is a female bathhouse, downstairs is a male bathhouse, don't go wrong.

After class at noon the next day, the seniors came to take me to the canteen for fear that I didn't know the way.

Throughout the middle school, I basically didn't say a few words to boys, just studied hard and took exams. And when I was in primary school, my interaction with boys was only fighting!

When I first arrived in Beijing, the first person I met was my brother. His considerate care and sunny and handsome appearance captured my heart in 24 hours.

I've never been in love, and I'm shouting in my heart: No matter where the ends of the earth are, even if the sun and the moon are dark, I'll pair up with my brother, and I'll mention the case of Qi Mei!

Soon, the opportunity to get close to my brother came. My heart is pounding with joy.

During the National Day holiday of my freshman year, a distant aunt of mine who lives in Tongzhou invited me to visit her home. In 2004, in the distant 2G era, mobile navigation was completely unimaginable. Since I came to Beijing, I took a bus for the first time. What about the subway? I didn't shoot it before the National Day in 2004.

Let my brother accompany me to Tongzhou. How do I know he will have time to go?

Well, because my aunt is a well-known architect, she is also famous in this industry. She is the elder brother of architectural design, sensitive and studious. She will never miss the opportunity to meet with his outstanding predecessors in this industry.

At that time, the subway ticket had not entered the era of 2 yuan Pass, but it had not reached today's price. There are basically only 1 line, line 2 and Batong line in Beijing.

My brother took me to Xizhimen by car first. At first, there were only two empty seats in the car, which were not connected. They are at the windows on both sides of the aisle, and we are at the lower left. After one stop, the seat next to me was empty, and my brother immediately sat down to chat with me. My heart secretly rejoiced.

The subway station was crowded with people, and my brother was worried that I would get lost and took my hand.

Oh, my heart is screaming, I'm so happy!

I was dragged on the subway by my brother, and there was a seat. He quickly asked me to sit down and let go of my hand.

I was secretly annoyed. If only I didn't have a seat, maybe my brother would always hold my hand!

Aunt Jia enjoyed this family dinner very much. She especially appreciated her brother's kindness and high emotional intelligence. My brother is also very happy.

Night is coming, happy time is fleeting and the road is long. We should go back to school.

The first time I experienced the National Day in Beijing, I only knew it was hot in summer during the day, but I didn't know it was cold in autumn at night. When I set off from school with my brother in the morning, I wondered why he was wearing a coat and I was only wearing a thin shirt.

Come out from Aunt Jia's house at night, and the night is as cold as water. Oh, no, the water is just my sneeze. The weather is as cold as ice.

When the sneeze didn't go off, my brother immediately handed me a tissue and put on my coat the next second. My body and mind warmed up instantly, and I blushed, because the body odor on my brother's coat made my heart itch.

Walking out of Xizhimen subway station, there is continuous autumn rain in the night sky. Like a robot cat, my brother took out a small sky-blue umbrella.

Two people are holding an umbrella, my brother is on the left and I am on the right, walking side by side. He was afraid that my right shoulder would get wet, so he stretched out his right index finger and middle finger and gently put them on the edge of my right shoulder, letting me lean toward the center of the umbrella.

In the drizzle, under the umbrella. My brother said that after graduation, I still want to go back to the south. The night here is empty, but in the south, even if it rains, it can't stop people's enthusiasm for the midnight snack night market.

I looked up at my brother and only smiled foolishly. In fact, I silently said, "No matter where you are, home is where you are."

In retrospect, if I can travel back to the night when the autumn rain continued, if I can stand under the umbrella with my brother again that night and listen to what he said with a touch of sadness, then I must not just laugh silly, I must speak my mind!

Love in the 2G era is the most popular to send text messages. I didn't have a mobile phone at that time.

There is no mobile phone, so I can only borrow my roommate's mobile phone to send a short message occasionally, and I have to go out of the dormitory door and walk to the balcony at the end of the corridor.

It's not that I am shy and afraid of being laughed at by other roommates. This is a solemn ceremony-"slide my phone".

The mobile phone is not a dog, why should it slip away?

This is because our dormitory is located in the inner layer of a huge zigzag high-rise building. Although it is known as the "Princess Building", the signal in the building is extremely poor. We have to secretly send and receive text messages on our mobile phones with piety.

Why is my roommate willing to lend me his mobile phone? Not only because she is generous, but also because I can help her slip her mobile phone.

What kind of message did I send to my brother? I have forgotten most of it. Of course there is no backup, because the mobile phone is not mine.

I only remember the stupidest one. On April Fool's Day, I sent a message to my seniors:

Gouemont.

My brother and I are both Zhuang people, but my mother tongue is Zhuang language, and his mother tongue is vernacular. He doesn't understand Zhuang language at all. So Zhuang's transliteration of "I love you" is probably deleted by him as a spam message.

20 1 calling cards, one by one. Work-study program is not only for survival and development, but also for calling cards! On the other end of the phone, most of the time, I miss my girlfriend who is studying in the south instead of my brother.

She listened to my melancholy silently and told me in a gentle and peaceful voice that the true meaning of study and life lies in a long stream of water, not a moment of madness.

Melancholy, melancholy is my temporary confusion, and it is an empty bell that no one answers the phone in the senior dormitory again and again. (In the era of receiving charges, I naturally won't call my brother's mobile phone easily. )

Melancholy, melancholy is the self-confidence I see on my rival's face, which is a hazy reflection in my eyes.

Later, I learned that the senior's self-confidence comes not only from her tall figure, good face and excellent grades, but also from her superior family and good upbringing.

Yes, senior and senior are a natural couple, with the same talent and looks, and they are a good match.

And I, what is it?

I'm just a frustrated secret admirer.

Setbacks are setbacks. Every time I meet a senior on campus, I am always filled with joy. Even though he already has a girlfriend, it makes me happy to see him occasionally.

During the summer vacation, my best friend came to Beijing for an internship. I invited her to a restaurant in my hometown with the salary of work-study program.

We ate fried powder happily. I suddenly caught a glimpse of my brothers and sisters coming in together and almost choked.

My best friend was about to stand up and fill me with lemonade. I winked at her and motioned for her to sit down and cover me at once.

My best friend is really my best friend. When I looked at her, she got the message, and soon she couldn't sit still, which made me a blind spot in the senior's sight.

But when seniors and seniors walk together, it's like two people are firmly tied together by a halo, and the others become gray backgrounds or NPCs in RPG games.

In the halo, they naturally can't see us little NPCs in the dark.

"Before the end of the year, our family will immigrate to New Zealand. Your English test score is higher than mine, and your qualification is no problem. All you need is a birth certificate and other documents. When you go back to your hometown, we will go to the southern hemisphere pasture to raise sheep together. My dad will definitely like you more and more, don't worry. " Senior said smugly.

"Ok, I'll go back to my hometown by train next Monday." My brother's clear voice replied, and his smile was still warm. I saw the melancholy hidden in his eyes.

"It rained all night, and my love for you is like rain, a butterfly on the windowsill ..." My brother's cell phone rang, but he just kept answering "Mm-hmm" without saying anything, and his eyes were full of anxiety.

I don't know what my brother heard on the phone.

For the rest of the summer vacation, I lived in the dormitory with my best friend. She is an intern, and I am an intern+work-study program.

My best friend told me that you should be independent and strong, so that you can stand side by side with the person you love confidently and equally and become his most reliable supporter when he needs help.

After that, I lost the news of my brother. QQ sent a message but didn't reply. He called the dormitory when his cell phone stopped, and his roommate didn't know where he went.

I tried to charge my brother's mobile phone number with ten yuan, and then called him, but no one answered. After dialing several times in a row, the voice over there became "The subscriber you dialed is power off".

Didn't the senior say before the end of the year? I didn't expect them to emigrate so soon? !

In late autumn, the ginkgo trees in front of the building are brilliant, one tree is dressed up and the other is golden. When self-study passed by the library, I quietly looked forward to it, expecting my brother to come out of the little red room again and wave to me with a smile.

And this expectation has failed again and again, leaving only the feeling of freezing cold.

The north wind blew all night. The next morning, the trees in front of the little red building were bare, and the branches were exposed to cold air without shelter, just like my sadness was almost unbearable.

When the first snow fell, I saw my senior sister in front of the little red building. The snow is so heavy that I can't see her face clearly.

My heart is full of joy! Since the senior has not immigrated, the senior should still be at school.

That night, I called my brother's dormitory again. Fortunately, someone answered.

Unfortunately, it wasn't my brother who answered the phone. His roommate didn't hear from his hometown except after the summer vacation, and he still didn't know where he went. It still hurts to call my brother's mobile phone again. The subscriber you dialed is power off.

The day before New Year's Day, I came back from work-study programs outside the school and met my seniors at the school gate. I saw her carrying a backpack and pulling a big suitcase to an Audi parked on the side of the road.

I forgot my shyness and rushed forward to ask her, "Do you know where XXX is? Why isn't he with you? "

The senior smiled and made a gesture to the people in the car. She pulled me aside, corners of the mouth down, eyes dim, said:

"Are you a young man from his hometown? To tell the truth, I don't know where he is either. I'm going abroad tonight. Please add my QQ and leave me a message if you hear from him. Please, be young. "

With that, the senior took out a notebook from his bag, wrote down the QQ number, tore off the page and gave it to me. I nodded again and again.

"Goodbye, younger." The senior smiled again and turned to Audi.

Winter goes and spring comes. After another new semester begins, spring blossoms. The ginkgo tree in front of Xiaohonglou raises handfuls of small green fans.

I'm still quietly looking forward to seeing master elder brother again.

I wrote my homework in the library computer room all day that day, and I fainted after studying by myself. When I passed the little red building, I saw a man coming out of it, much like a senior brother, but thin and not like a senior brother.

I wonder if I'm hallucinating. Rub your eyes quickly.

"Hey, how have you been recently?" I am familiar with this voice, it is my brother's voice!

"Brother, you are back at last!" I cried with joy and couldn't help rushing to hug him. "ouch!" I didn't expect to be hit by his collarbone and almost bit my tongue.

"Be careful." The big brother hit me on the head, and I didn't hurt at all.

"Playing Chopin's serenade for you to commemorate my lost love ..." When the bell rang, my brother took out his mobile phone from his trouser pocket and connected the phone.

"Mom, I told the dean today, and he said that all the credits I missed last semester can be made up. Please rest assured ... "

After this long and silent parting, I don't want to have a secret crush anymore. Next to the ginkgo tree in spring, under the dim street lamp, I said to my brother, "Brother, I like you! I want to be your girlfriend. "

"Sunseeker sunseeker, thank you for liking me. I think you are also very good. It's just that I've just been lovelorn for less than three months, and this state is unfair with you. This is not the natural development of feelings. Please give us some time, ok? We are still good friends. "

"Uh-huh, brother, don't disappear. Promise me, will you? "

"Well, never."

Because most of the professional courses disappeared, senior brother postponed graduation for one year to make up credits, which happened to be the same year as me.

When I graduated, my brother received an offer from the largest real estate company in a city in Hainan, and I was admitted to the civil service in that city.

When we went to that city to report together, just after getting off the train, the typhoon came, the palm trees were crumbling, the sky was raining heavily, and the water was gurgling outside the station.

We must take shelter from the rain at the station first. There were so many people in the railway station that I finally found a small corner where I could make do with a rest. My brother put down his suitcase, spread two newspapers on it, told me to sit down first, and then he sat down.

In the noisy crowd, this small corner forced us to snuggle together.

The mutual snuggling of life transfer stations has become the germination point of our decision to stay together for life.

It's raining heavily outside, and it's very reassuring to snuggle up to each other.

After working in Hainan for one year, my brother and I began to confirm the relationship between men and women and formally communicate.

After working for two years, I have been concentrating on writing in my spare time, paid the down payment with the saved manuscript fee, and bought a small house of my own next to the unit.

After working for three years and officially dating my brother for two years, we got married. Aunt Jia attended the wedding as our witness, and my best friend was my maid of honor.

My husband and wife bought a big house with a terrace by the sea. The most important thing is to install a whole wall of books in our dreams. In front of the book wall is my writing workbench, and behind it is my master elder brother's studio. The balcony is full of wind and rain.

Why did my brother disappear in those days? It turned out that the phone call my brother received at his hometown restaurant was from his family, saying that his twin sister had been cheated into a pyramid scheme den and asked him to rescue him. Unexpectedly, my brother was also locked up by pyramid schemes and his mobile phone was confiscated. Six months later, they were rescued by the police.

Although he was saved, the huge sum of money that my elder brother took in to save my sister under the pretence could never be recovered.

After my senior returned to school scrawny, I left a message on QQ, saying that she had returned to school, without explaining the specific reasons. After I learned from my sister, I sent back a message saying, "It is good that he is safe. I have been engaged abroad according to my parents' orders. Please take good care of him for me. Thank you, young man. "

Recently, Hainan introduced a real estate purchase restriction policy. My brother and I heard the news when we were walking by the sea, but it had nothing to do with us. When Hainan's housing prices began to soar before, we were glad that we came early and bought a house not too late.

On this island, it is really happy to snuggle up to each other and urge each other to read, write and draw.

No matter where you are, you are home.