Only by reading Yi Shu's original novel My First Half Life can we truly understand and feel the content and value of the compulsory course for women's growth expressed by the teacher in his works. Especially for middle-aged me, I feel different every time I read it. If reading love novels is a hobby of adolescent girls, then Yi Shu's novels are a good choice for different women of all ages. Although some experiences in life can only be learned, it still does not hinder the guidance of this book on women's growth.
Tang Jing is a model of modern women.
Tang Jing is my favorite character in this novel. She has all the qualities I want to be a mature woman. She is brave, smart, generous to her friends, rational and transparent to others. It is a great blessing to have such a bosom friend in life.
Tang Jing is one of the important factors for Zijun to get out of the failed marriage, and the process of her great help to Zijun is precisely the embodiment of her rationality and wisdom: when she knew that Zijun's marriage failed, she frankly pointed out that marriage was like two people dancing tango, and it was not just one person's fault; If you can't clearly understand the past, you will be at a loss about the future; Now is not the time to pretend to be lofty. Some people want to arrest people, but no one wants money. You are not as powerful as you think.
She also spared no effort to help Zijun recover from her failed marriage: like the Gestapo, she helped Zijun sort out her resume and recommendation letters and helped her find a job that could support herself for a while; Zijun woke her up when she complained that her salary was too low. No wonder Zijun lamented that he was helping or beating Reservoir Dogs.
Tang Jing's help to Zijun is not cheap, but a little sensible and indifferent: although she helped her find a house and a job, she told her that "the poor are hard to take care of" and no one could always accompany her and recommend her to read various books. She told Zijun that if she gave herself some time, only she could help her climb mountains and overcome difficulties again and again. When Zijun was lonely and dating Chen Zongda, Tang Jing saw through Chen Zongda's meanness and told Zijun to stay away from such a man even if he divorced ten times. When Zijun knew that Tang Jing was going to marry Australia, she lost her temper and behaved badly. Tang Jing's encouragement to Zijun also hit home. "Your problem is that there will always be someone to support you. Juansheng goes away, you catch me. Now that I'm leaving, you're just as sad. Zijun, why are you so naive and adaptable? You don't need us. Look how independent you are now. You have to keep telling yourself that I don't need crutches or them. "
Tang Jing's transparency can also be seen everywhere in the workplace and the concept of marriage: she helps her son choose a big company on the grounds that the younger the boss, the more he looks at thieves. She thinks that being enemies with her partner is a taboo in the workplace and so on. Marriage and love are two different things, not that it is good for her to marry a woman like Zijun, but that some women in life have poor conditions and cannot choose, and so on.
Zijun: A Handbook of Women's Growth
The image of Zijun in Yi Shu's novels is not as gaudy and melodramatic as in TV series, but as far as the role of wife is concerned, she should be qualified: she takes good care of children and housework, so that Juansheng's life has no worries about housework except work; She is beautiful, intellectual, online in aesthetic ability and fluent in English. At the so-called gentlemen's party, she is always the most decent wife, and even in the worst marriage, she does not lose her responsibility and self-esteem for her children.
The failure of Zijun and Juansheng's marriage, I think, is more likely due to their own insensitivity to life changes. Shortly after graduating from college, I was lucky enough to marry Juansheng, a western doctor, because she was beautiful and simple. I have never met a positive game in which life is not easy. Too happy and simple life is actually a double-edged sword, which can make people comfortable or lose. I didn't realize the change of Juansheng's life. Everyone knows that marriage is in jeopardy, but I don't know yet.
It's not a bad thing for Zijun to get married. Because of this change, she reflected on the past: Tang Jing, her best friend, was pampered when she was struggling in the workplace. Now Tang Jing has enough ability to give herself a sense of security and choice, and once she loses her husband's aura, she is like being beaten back to her original shape. Even her closest relatives will mock her. As Zijun himself said, "I have tried my best". In my thirties, it goes without saying that I have to start all over again, but this is not rebirth: in order to survive, I feel the emptiness and timidity in the workplace again; Read books to relieve loneliness and try different hobbies; Re-examine yourself and your past marriage partner, find your own problems, and find that Juansheng is not suitable for your own personality; Learn to protect yourself and make yourself more interesting again. That's exactly what I said: "There is no road in life in vain, and every step counts."
One of the reasons why novels are better than TV series is that novels are more grounded and more real, except for the unique concept of women. The story of a divorced woman's counterattack is certainly impressive enough, but life is really cruel and more exciting than drama romance. Even if the injured person heals, staring at the scar in the dead of night will still have shocking pain. The lingering loneliness of being alone still makes people so eager for a sense of security and belonging. The novel ends with Zijun meeting Zhai Youdao and remarriing. Some people think it is the limitation of Yi Shu's values, but I think it should be the limitation of Hong Kong's living time at that time. As far as the sixties and seventies are concerned, Yi Shu's view on marriage and love has not been lost. Yi Shu expressed his view on marriage through the mouth of Tang Jing, the son of Jun: marriage is just a way of life, which has nothing to do with love, but the key is his ability to choose; Whether a marriage is good or not depends on your ability to control the situation. It is difficult for a marriage with palm up and economic independence to have a safe and stable ownership.
Chen Zongda, Juan Sheng, Zhai Youdao: All sentient beings in women's love stories.
Chen Zongda's body is a bit like the epitome of the so-called "credulous person", which always makes people see a lot of mediocre and even obscene things: his background, qualifications and even hard work are unremarkable. After more than 20 years in career life, he still hasn't made any decent achievements, but he is a "tout" for trifles outside of work. Obviously, he is a low-level person in life and has the ambition of "one wife and one concubine are blessed". Because of a salary increase of several hundred yuan, he will give in psychologically. I think Zijun is a middle-aged divorced woman, so I can use it. No wonder Tang Jing hit the nail on the head. "Such a man should stay away even if he is divorced ten times."
Although Juansheng betrayed his marriage, he is really not love rat, and even he is better than many men in life. A successful career can provide a rich life for his wife and children, take up the responsibility of raising children after divorce, send his daughter to study in Canada, and give alimony to his ex-wife during the transition period of divorce. After getting out of marriage and seeing all kinds of men in society, Zijun also admitted Juansheng's character and demeanor. Think about the news of all kinds of wonderful men in reality: this is a poor couple, raising a mistress when they live well, and defrauding property in the name of fake divorce. As for domestic violence, it is by no means a story to kill his wife to cheat insurance and throw his youngest son downstairs to cater to mistress. Judging from the low standards of men in today's society, it is not wrong to say that Juansheng is a good man.
However, Juansheng is not a suitable marriage partner for independent women. He has the ability to work, but his ability to live is not strong. He can't cope with all kinds of trifles such as decoration, moving, traveling and relatives. He is dull and tired of the monotony of life, but he can't find a suitable solution to the problem, and he can't even see through the true colors of life. The life he spurned is exactly the same as the life he will live in the future, and his regret is inevitable. Zijun, who was reborn, also felt that if he was afraid to live again, he would not choose Juansheng. A man like Juan Sheng can provide a temporary material guarantee for a woman's life, but he can't give a spiritual vibration of the same frequency. He may be Gu Lingling's good husband, but he is not the right choice for Tang Jing and her newborn Zijun.
Diyou island
Zhai Youdao should be regarded as a truly mature man. He not only has the same career achievements as Juansheng, but more importantly, he has a rare spiritual maturity: he doesn't like the ineffective social interaction of drinking and socializing after work, he always thinks more than expressing, he understands his own needs and the division of roles in marriage, and treats Zijun only in the present, regardless of the past. Modern marriage mode is more like a partnership. Perhaps only such a man is suitable for marriage. Only by mutual trust and respect can we cooperate with each other and win-win.
Reading Yi Shu's story, you may shed tears in her story, but you should learn to grow up in her story.