A while ago, I had nothing to do. I made a brief thought on the subway and compared it. Which of the following makes me happier:

1. In hot summer, our company issues high temperature subsidy 100 yuan.

2. What I wrote was included in the official account of a famous magazine WeChat. I received a reward from 9 1.4 yuan after the other party reprinted it.

Why did the second activity receive less actual income than the first one, 8.6 yuan? But I tend to think that the second thing gives me a stronger sense of happiness? After reading a book called Psychology of Success, the author Dennis Vetley finally told me the answer, because "receiving a reward" was actually labeled as "success" by me subconsciously.

Second, what is success?

In the first chapter of Psychology of Success-Discovering the Meaning of Work and Life, the author clearly points out that success means personal achievements in life, and personal achievements come from a meaningful feeling created by a person in work and life.

It is worth noting that money and fame are not equal to success.

There was a man who was rich, famous and famous, accompanied by a lover, lived in a mansion and drove a famous car. He has almost all the conditions expected by the world. However, he chose to jump off a building on an April Fool's Day and ended his life. I think you have guessed that he is Leslie Cheung. He no longer has this "meaningful feeling", so he no longer loves the world and chooses to leave.

What does success have to do with goals?

There is a golden sentence: if a ship doesn't know where it is going, then any wind is against the wind.

Everyone understands the truth, but it is really difficult to put it into practice.

I have met many people around me, and their parents have given them the goal of being admitted to 985/2 1 1. Diligence, hard work, all kinds of positive energy, from the first year of high school to the third year of high school, some of them have successfully achieved this goal. The moment the list was announced, it was a moment when the family was ecstatic (there was a meaningful feeling after the goal was achieved).

However, after entering the university, they lost their sense of purpose and began to stay up late in the university-CS, Warcraft, Dota；; Others spent a month, leaving with love and hate; On the other hand, at 4: 30 in the morning, the library of Harvard University is brightly lit, and students use pizza for breakfast, reading books and taking notes.

Where time is spent, the output is there. On the surface, it seems to be a waste of vs efforts, and the bottom difference is the lack of goals.

Fourth, why must there be a personal tailor's goal?

Becoming a top pianist used to be Lang Lang's goal, but 99.99% can't be mechanically copied as my goal.

In the second chapter "self-awareness", the author points out that everyone who is eager for success and happiness must be honest with himself and clearly see his strengths and weaknesses.

Due to the differences in genetic inheritance and childhood experience, everyone's compound intelligence is different. The author emphasizes that accurately pointing out the strongest intelligence helps to find out what you are best at.

Through a lot of statistical research, compound intelligence can be divided into eight different types: word/language intelligence; Logical/mathematical intelligence; Visual/spatial intelligence; Physical/kinesthetic intelligence; Musical intelligence; Communicative intelligence; Intrinsic intelligence; Born smart.

Taking the author as an example, through the composite intelligence evaluation table of the book, the author's writing/language intelligence, communicative intelligence and logic/mathematics intelligence are higher than the other five items. This test helped the author find and firmly believe the path of self-development-PPT/writing, management/communication, model calculation/reasoning, which will be some directions with high input-output ratio for me.

It is worth mentioning that China only pays attention to writing/language intelligence and logic/mathematics intelligence in the selection of college entrance examination. Although these two kinds of compound intelligence are weak, the other six kinds of compound intelligence are high in strength, so it is inevitable to suffer losses in the college entrance examination, but it does not mean that you can't choose a suitable personal tailor-made goal according to your own advantages.

Summary: 1. What makes people happier is not money, but success. 2. Success means a lifetime of personal achievement, and personal achievement comes from a meaningful feeling created by one's own work and life. 3. Goals help people work hard and strive to succeed for people. Everyone has his own strengths and weaknesses. Find them, strive to achieve a high input-output ratio, and take developing them as our personal tailor-made goal.

There is a reason why our eyes can't see our back, because our eyes can only see the front. If we want to see the back, we can use tools such as mirrors and cameras.

There is also a reason why we can't know ourselves correctly, because emotions have risen in our hearts. With some tools and methods, we can know ourselves from multiple angles and comprehensively.

How does emotion affect our rational view of things?

For example, we are going to wear a suit to attend a very important interview. We have been preparing for this interview for half a year, which determines our development prospects in this industry in the next ten years. This is very important! When we were on the bus, suddenly a person jumped on us, and at the same time, soy milk spilled all over us, causing our suits to be in a mess. I think many people's habitual reaction at this time is anger and want to slap each other. Impatient people may curse. And if we find that this person is suddenly ill and facing life danger, maybe our emotions will disappear now.

Emotion will affect our rational view of things, and the greater the loss caused by things, the more serious our emotions will be. And many times, when the mood is high, many people will lose their minds.

This mentality is influenced by the "qi" in the heart.

Another example: when we finish a very difficult thing, an idea will rise in our hearts. I'm fine. I've finished all these difficult things. When we meet the praise of leaders and colleagues again, we will be complacent and feel very powerful. When others encounter difficulties at work, we always want to say a few words.

This mentality is influenced by arrogance.

We should understand that physical behavior, ups and downs of mind and oral behavior are just yardsticks to measure the strength of our thoughts. Just like when we are angry with someone, when we are not strong, our thoughts flash by; When the anger is stronger, we may insult him; When the anger is stronger, we may hit him. The behavior of body, mouth and mind is only a yardstick to measure our spiritual strength.

And when the emotional fluctuations in our hearts are stronger, our judgment on people, things and things will be more strongly influenced.

The heart will last for three states, just like a balance.

If Libra leans to the left is arrogant and leans to the right is angry, then the state of balance is the state of inner peace.

Be careful, when we calm down, the essence we see is the most real. When you look at things with anger or arrogance, it must be a limitation. With more and more understanding of the whole picture of things, our hearts will also have ups and downs, left and right.

Here is another answer, which explains in detail how emotions affect our lives. Is IQ the main reason why the brain is slow in reaction, poor in acceptance and often distracted (adults)? -An empty answer

When emotional interference is eliminated, we can know ourselves more accurately.

How to get rid of emotions is one of the common goals of many theories and religions. Confucianism, Taoism, Buddhism, psychology and so on all work around removing emotions. In Confucianism: don't talk about emotions, but constantly emphasize goals. How do you do it? In the process of doing it, your emotions will be purified. In Taoist thought, what is emphasized is immanence: Yin Qi. Physical and mental interaction, all emotional problems will be stored in the body in the form of Yin Qi. Removing Yin Qi is essentially dealing with emotions. In Buddhism, greed and anger are magnified, and they are arrogant and angry. Needless to say, psychology

There are two kinds of rising emotions: one is the mood of past inventory; Second, your current mood that you actively promoted because of external stimuli.

Our thinking is divided into two parts: consciousness and subconscious; There are many emotions in the past in the subconscious, and the conscious part can control and decide whether we should improve our emotions now. Many times we don't realize that when the emotions in the past inventory are triggered, our conscious part will continue to let these emotions roll and accumulate in our hearts, just like snowballing.