Once upon a time, a group of hedgehogs got together in winter, hoping to keep each other warm so as not to freeze to death in winter. Hedgehogs get together when the cold wind blows, but because they have thorns, they will stab each other every time they get too close. When they are not hurt, they will spread out again.
They kept getting together, but they dispersed because of the stabbing pain. Until the end, they found the most suitable distance from each other, so that they would not be stabbed by each other's thorns, nor would they freeze to death because they were too far away.
Later, some people called keeping a perfect distance from others "hedgehog effect"
When you face someone you don't need, you will naturally keep a different distance from her. When you talk to the people closest to you, you will keep the closest distance to communicate, and when you play with your good friends, you will keep the farther distance than those close to you. Talking to strangers may be a meter away. This is the distance that human beings are born to keep.
A psychologist once did an experiment. He came to a very quiet library. Many people in the library are reading books, and most of them are nearly one meter apart. At this time, the psychologist deliberately sat next to a person who was absorbed in reading. As expected, the person who was reading a book took a look at the psychologist and left quietly to find another place to read. The psychiatrist tried to sit next to the others again. Everyone looked at him strangely and left.
It can be seen that it is the instinct of most people that a person does not want to get too close to another stranger in a quiet environment.
The hardest thing for people to find is to find the most suitable distance with the closest people. Because, in the shortest distance, it is difficult for people to control a degree, and it is easy for them to feel disrespected.
My mother is a typical example. When I was young, my mother was strict with me. She often controls me to do many things, which makes me unable to decide my own life and makes me very painful. I gradually lost my sense of independence. Therefore, my rebellious time lasted for a long time. Fortunately, my mother is also a very fond of learning. Through learning, she gradually knows to keep up with me. From then on, I gradually began to have more space. Therefore, I am also very grateful to my mother.
Of course, the distance between you and your lover should also be carefully maintained.
Once upon a time, there was a man who prepared a romantic proposal at a long western-style dining table in a western-style restaurant. When the boy and the girl proposed, it was surprising that the girl turned him down. When the boy asked the girl why, the girl replied, "You proposed to me so far away, can we promise you?"
The distance between everyone and others is different. Finding the most suitable distance between you is the most important thing. Although you may not be able to avoid hurting each other in this process, how can you know if you refuse to try!