When I was just with EX, I felt that I had met an ideal object. We have endless words and the same dream. Praise from the other side makes my self-confidence grow infinitely, and friends around me also say that I have become more cheerful and confident.
But soon, things became different. One day two months later, EX told me that he would take part in the competition and let me go to the library alone. I didn't go to the library, but I found him holding hands with another girl by the school lake.
I didn't question him on the spot. When I met him in the evening, I asked him carefully about the afternoon, and he suddenly changed his face:
Didn't you go to the library? How could you lie to me?
This is a weakness of human nature, so is every man. I thought you were a generous person, different from other girls, but I didn't expect you to be so stingy.
Do you want to control me? You are too emotional. I think you should see a psychiatrist.
You used to be different. What's wrong with you?
After that, this conversation often happened. He even told my friend that I was "nervous". Say how considerate you are to me and how selfish and unreasonable I am.
Unconsciously, I became the person who was "acting" in the eyes of others.
And whenever I meet his requirements, he will become gentle and considerate and praise me for being considerate. It was not until later that he found out that he was cheating again, with more than one object. ...
We finally broke up.
After breaking up, I heard from my friend that he told his new girlfriend how unreasonable I was and how good she was.
It suddenly occurred to me that he said the same thing to me when we were together.
Now I finally realize that he is a "bad lover". All his kindness to me is to control me. When his attitude suddenly changed, what was once beautiful became "bait", which made me deeply involved and unwilling to let go. Even every conflict, I suspect it's my own fault. As long as I meet his requirements, the once perfect object will come back.
After realizing this, I found that all my friends around me had met such people. However, it is not our fault to meet a bad lover. Discover the true face of a bad lover as soon as possible, let's get rid of his control and enter the next better relationship.
0 1 How to identify a bad lover
Have you ever had such a love experience?
At first, he is perfect in your eyes, but you will gradually find that some of his behaviors are like this:
If you encounter such a situation in an intimate relationship, you may need to think about whether the other person really loves you or just uses you to satisfy yourself.
What effect can a bad lover have?
Bad lovers don't show their true colors at first, but they will gradually test your bottom line. Once you make concessions, they will get worse.
My predecessor did the same thing. At first, he praised me without hesitation, and often showed his desire to start a family with me. He will chat with me every day and share his life. Sometimes I was busy and didn't reply in time. He will be very wronged and ask me if I don't love him enough. Is he not as important to me as I am to him?
But after a while, he suddenly stopped contacting me. If I asked him about it, he would say:
Everyone has his own life. Didn't you understand before? I like you only because you are not as clingy as other girls.
How did you become like this now? Won't you give me some space? More annoying than my predecessor
Forget it, I don't want to argue with you all the time. I don't want to argue about it anymore.
However, it is obvious that he hasn't contacted me for several days.
After a long time, I gradually dared not confess to him. Every time his attitude suddenly changes, I feel that I have done something wrong. And his bad attitude towards me was all "forced" by me, which was a last resort punishment for me.
After breaking up, he soon went public with an unfaithful partner. Of course, he told everyone that it was my fault that we broke up.
The most terrible thing is that even I suspected it was my fault.
This relationship will gradually erode your self-confidence and boundaries, and make you feel self-doubt and self-loathing. Even long after breaking up, it is difficult to get rid of this influence and enter a new life.
How to get rid of the influence of evil lovers
If you are unfortunate enough to meet such a person, it will have a great influence on you. Please tell yourself that you are only the victim of a bad intimate relationship, and what happened to you is not your fault.
At first, you may feel useless. However, when you get out of this shadow, you will find that the accusation made by that person is simply ridiculous.
Even if you are depressed, you should ask yourself to eat well, do more exercise and keep a regular life. Contact as many people as possible. Being alone all the time will aggravate your depression.
Maybe you will see EX show off his new life, but don't try to save it, so that he can continue to control you. It may be difficult, but you must give it a try and don't contact EX.
When you have self-doubt, please observe your thoughts and ask yourself, if your friend does this, do you think she did something wrong? If not, there is absolutely no need for you to feel wrong.
After a period of observation, self-pity may turn into anger. You don't know why you were fooled by the other party. You are very angry with yourself. However, please try not to blame yourself for this, but pay attention to your feelings and forgive yourself.
If there is really no way to get rid of such emotions, you can also seek outside help and help yourself through psychological counseling.
We can't guarantee that we will never meet bad lovers, but we can try to avoid letting them do harm to ourselves. I hope everyone can respect their true feelings and bravely stand up and defend their rights.