Children are our continuation, and everything we do is to give them a better future. However, many parents now complain that they are "unlucky" and have paid a lot for their children, but the results are not satisfactory.
The most important reason is that parents adopt inappropriate methods in educating their children. Today, I will talk about how to educate children correctly from some knowledge of psychology.
I. Matthew effect
"Anything less, even what he has will be taken away. If you have more, give it to him and tell him that the more the better. " -Matthew effect
In other words, the better the better, the worse the worse, and the more the less. Psychologically summed up as "the stronger the strong, the weaker the weak."
When educating children, we can make full use of the "Matthew effect", that is, give more positive encouragement to children, tap more places where children perform well, find the bright spots in children, and let children build up their self-confidence and make them "stronger and stronger"!
However, in fact, we always like to hold on to our children's mistakes and criticize their shortcomings. Too many shortcomings will make children lack self-confidence and thus "weaker and weaker"!
Only children who feel good about themselves and are confident can have higher requirements for themselves and face their study and life positively with a positive attitude.
Therefore, when educating children, we should "encourage more and criticize less"!
Second, the placebo effect
I believe that "placebo" is familiar to everyone. Mainly used for medical treatment. After taking the "placebo", the patient is convinced that he can be cured through some language prompts.
This is a kind of "psychological suggestion"! Positive hints can bring positive power.
When educating children, we should often use some positive "psychological hints" to help children build their self-confidence, that is, the "placebo effect".
First of all, we should give ourselves positive "psychological hints" and always believe that our children are the best.
Even if sometimes children's performance is not satisfactory, sometimes children always sing against us, and sometimes children are not as good as we expected, we still have to look at them with appreciation and still firmly believe that they are excellent.
When our hearts are firm, this "psychological suggestion" will also be passed on to our children. In addition, we can often give our children some positive language hints to convince them that they are excellent, which will make them more confident in themselves.
When parents and children believe in one thing, it is basically correct!
So, please know how to make good use of the "placebo effect" for yourself and your children!
Third, the horsefly effect.
A horsefly stung the ass of a farm cow. In order to drive away the horse flies, the cattle began to run hard, so they soon plowed the ground.
This is the "horse fly effect", that is to say, only when a person is bitten and full of pressure will he dare not relax, and he will work hard and make continuous progress.
Pressure can be a hindrance to career success or a driving force.
Therefore, when educating children, we should give them moderate pressure and not let them feel too stressed or not.
Children's learning is the focus of all parents' concern. Every parent has invested too much time and money in their children's study. However, sometimes the effect is not ideal, and even children are tired of learning.
Many parents will say to their children, "I have invested so much energy in you." If you don't do well in the exam, can you bear my contribution? " Wait, these will only make children stressed. When great pressure is overwhelming, children will only hate learning more and more.
Therefore, the most important thing is to make children fall in love with learning, not to force them to learn. Forcing will only be counterproductive.
The writer Gorky said: "When work is a kind of enjoyment, life is a kind of enjoyment; When work becomes an obligation, life becomes hard work. "
Use this sentence to encourage all parents and children!
Fourth, summary.
1, Matthew effect: more encouragement, less criticism;
2. Placebo effect: actively suggesting yourself and your child;
3. Horse fly effect: moderate pressure generates power.