What about FAI BEI SOGNI?
By Massimo Gramellini, the book I wrote belongs to the kind that can change my life. In fact, I was admitted to the hospital the day after I introduced this book on TV. I have a fever of 40℃, my stomach antrum is inflamed and I want to cry. The night before, I was fine. Even on the set of What's the Weather *, I met my idol, the director of the tax bureau, a sensitive good man hiding under the mask of bad guys. The broadcast plan is to interview him on the tax issue first and then interview me on the orphan issue-this is to cheer people up. After chewing the pain of childhood again in the live broadcast, I walked out of the studio, shivering, but there were a group of big policemen in the aisle in front. They all came to me, and my situation was really worse than I expected. When I was looking for a way out, the thugs evaded in two directions like the Red Sea, revealing him, the tax collector Moses. He wears a pair of blurred glasses. Please believe me, it is a sad experience to look at someone who always makes others cry. He came up to me and pointed at me and said, "Remember, I've been staring at you!" " "In order to calm him down, I swore to him with everything I loved most that I would pay the sacred property tax and comprehensive tax return on time, and soon I spent the last penny to pay the copyright tax. I was as distressed as others. The next day, in the street, people gave me a generous wry smile. I smiled back, but I don't understand why. When a lady approached me and touched me affectionately, I realized what had happened, but I was admitted to the hospital in the afternoon before I figured it out. The doctor looked at me and said, "TV is really bad for people." "He allowed me to leave the hospital, but he prescribed a lot of antibiotics and asked me to go to the pharmacy to buy them. I reluctantly followed the doctor's advice-I am a homeopathic enthusiast and treat all chemicals as foreign invaders. I ordered the medicine and paid for it with a 50 euro ticket. The pharmacist didn't give me change, but glanced at me sideways, picked up the ticket and looked at it in the backlight. Then he said in a blunt tone, "Are you Gramellini? "It's hard to avoid answering such questions." Can you come with me to the back? "I dragged my bad legs to the back, and there were members of the fraternity lined up all the way. They scanned me carefully. An old lady whispered: "When they were on TV, they told others that they were sincere, and then they paid for the medicine with fake tickets!" "God, what a world this is! ..... "Behind the drugstore, the pharmacist's expression changed and he became a sad person. She looked at me as if we were complementary: she was the lamb put in the oven at Easter, and I was the baked potato. She stroked my beard and gave me a mint. My trench coat was wet with tears-it didn't need to be like this. Then, she ignored my pain and began to tell her family story. An overly sensitive daughter ended her life with half a bottle of bleach, leaving a little granddaughter, who was deceived by a lie from an early age: "Your mother ate poisonous fish by mistake." Now, the child is fifteen years old and hates food, because she regards food as a poison that kills people. The pharmacist handed me another mint. "What should I do? If you tell her the truth, will you be in danger of making things worse? You give me a correct suggestion, Gramellini ... "This is just the beginning. From that day on, I was bombarded by hundreds of reports on life problems. For their heart disease, I am a pharmacy. It's like this is misery loves company. People see themselves in the true stories told in novels and feel capable of telling their secrets without being filtered by shame. Not to the person closest to you, but to a friend on paper, treat this friend as a suffering friend and a noble person who helps you change the status quo. I've been exposed to this situation too much. Some are even funny. A young friend wrote to me and said, "Like you, I found the secret of our family from an article in the newspaper." He went to the court to investigate an unknown case, but he came across a file with his name on it, so he told me about it. In the file, he found a yellow book with his father's name on it. We all remember him as an extremely honest moralist. When he was young, he was actually in prison for theft. No one has the courage to reveal the secret to this friend. He wrote: "My subconscious knows. Now I can tell you the truth. Massimo, I've been a thief since I was a child. Speaking of which, do you remember your disappearing skis? " I remember! When I am in a hurry to pee, I put my skis in a small house on the mountain. After a while, I came back and found my skis missing. "I stole it." Thirty years later, until recently, he confessed to me, "Then I sold my skis. But I must let you know that I have used the proceeds for charity. " There is also a letter stamped with the postmark of a resort. Many years ago, there was a black news, because a restaurant caught fire and the owner was killed. The author of that letter said that the shopkeeper who was burned to death was his father. He found an excuse to let customers and employees go out, then lit the wooden wall and hid in the top floor waiting for the end of the matter. A few months later, his mother was devastated, and my paper friend found a complete life in the ashes after the fire. He rebuilt a restaurant in his hometown with all his father's savings. In the new project, he got not only a building, but also a girl. However, when everything became normal, Belphegor appeared. In my novels, Belphegor is the name I gave to the devil in my heart. A good bad soul is actually harmful, because although it keeps people away from pain, it keeps itself in a cage that is afraid of everything. Fear of life, fear of love, fear of believing in your dreams. My interlocutor avoided his girl and took a typical man to get rid of a woman but didn't have the courage to leave her cowardice. So, he tried his best to leave her, and after great efforts, he finally succeeded When I gave him Lonely Dreamer, he left the book on the bedside table for a month without opening it. "But one night," he wrote in the last paragraph of the letter, "I tossed and turned in bed like a shark falling into a net, so I turned on the lamp and began to read. I saw the last chapter, which is the chapter where Eliza taught you to forgive and accept everything that life has given you. I see, that's me. It's starting to turn white outside. So, I closed the book, covered my pajamas with a sweater and went to the window of my ex-girlfriend. I called her in the hall and she looked through the window. Do you still want me? I shouted. Instead of answering, she opened the door. "With Lonely Dream Man, I opened a door to caress, confess and appreciate. Through letters, emails, short messages on mobile phones and messages on social networks, thousands of thank-you letters keep pouring in. It is warm and sweet to lean against this grateful wall when it is dark. Because it's not just caressing that comes in through that door, but also slapping. This is to be expected. When you lift the veil of inner pain, you are under the criticism of those who can't tolerate sincerity for fear of being infected. As a result, some people wrote that I used the trauma of my family to speculate, and some people said that I used the public's curiosity about my private secrets. I am neither a football star nor a lover of a big shot. However, from the beginning, I knew exactly what risks my novel would bring me. What prompted me to publish it? It's simple. When a person accepts a story and the tools to tell it, it is wrong to just keep it. For a long time, I have always wanted to remind my readers that life is meaningful, so we should face it and not let "if" paralyze it. As Bernard Shaw wrote: "Everyone's mission lies in the power of nature, and the universe will never make a person who is confused by misfortune and bitterness happy." "However, as a member of the privileged class, some words said by reporters will make people listen to hypocrisy. Only by confessing my misfortunes and weaknesses mercilessly can I make the information credible, and the message of hope is what I want to convey. Because I lost my mother when I was a child, I tried ahead of time, which will hit everyone sooner or later: lovelorn. In Lonely Dreamer, I said that not being loved is a great pain, but it is not the most painful. The most painful thing is not to be loved again. Like a piece of bad candy, you taste it and spit it out. It is the fear of being abandoned that prevents us from abandoning ourselves. When I explained these concepts to the public, I met with faces and confusion. So I blame Jung. In order to stop being afraid of pain, it is essential to get rid of it. Every day, millions of people are trying, either busy praying and doing all kinds of good deeds, or anesthetizing themselves with drugs and extreme experiences. But as jung said, painful memories can't be eliminated, and what can be eliminated is the pain related to memory. Today, I can no longer think of my mother in pain, because I have accepted an unspeakable fact in my heart: everything that happened is correct and perfect. It is not unfortunate that pain happens to us, but it gives us an opportunity to understand the part of the problem that we have not solved well. Why do we like stories so much? Because their backlight reveals the secret of existence. At the beginning of the story, the hero didn't know who he was. Stick to your dream, but deny it, or even know nothing about it. It's the narrator's turn to replace the rules of the universe, or, as you wish, let God come forward and put the hero through a series of tests, so that he can reveal himself to others and himself. If nothing has changed in your life or something has not changed from birth to death, it means that life is of no use to you. When I was a child, they gave me a sweater with a sentence written on it. The legendary King Arthur said to the knights of the Round Table: "We are forced to wander around the world looking for adventure because we can't live in our own hearts. "That was an instant idea. The adventure hailed as a heroic feat by the world is just a miniature version of the real adventure: the adventure that everyone has completed in his own heart. Our society can no longer feel great adventure. We are dragged, living in a lifeless today, poisoned by the fear of losing what we have, and many of those things are dispensable. We are proud of low-level emotions, and even such magical words as "detachment" have been given negative meanings. Emotions are despised. Emotion is intense and short-lived, and will fade after the impact. On the other hand, emotions are slow and profound, sometimes annoying. But when it comes to the universal language of the mind, it is not expressed by words and reasoning, but by symbols. That is the language of music, pantomime and fairy tales. Jung's "voice of God" is the intuitive communication of our stiff muscles. The voice kept muttering about what to do. When a person or a choice suits us or doesn't suit us, it tells us. It reminds us that life is meaningful, even if we don't like it, it is always meaningful. A revelation, telling our true inner voice, although Belphegor hinted at us, is probably just a comfort. Intuition never lies and never goes wrong. In order to listen to intuition, we can't cover it up with the noise of thoughts and emotions. The problem is that Belphegor is afraid of intuition. In order not to let you feel intuition, it can try to invent various pastimes and even applaud the funeral. Our brains know everything, but they like to pretend not to know. My brain suppressed the truth of my mother's death for forty years, pretending to believe my father's fairy tales, and he was a man who had never read a novel in his life and was full of reality. In our bookstore, there are so many story books on the shelves, but none of them are narratives. I grew up watching Napoleon's biography. My father worships the French emperor and hopes I can be like him, not just bald. One day, I gave him a copy of War and Peace. I leaned forward and said, "This is a novel, but it's about Napoleon. "He started reading this book to make me happy, but after reading hundreds of pages, he couldn't stick to it." It says here that Napoleon was in a camp sometime one day. No, here is 30 kilometers more than there! ""Dad, this is a novel! " "What do you mean? You Tolstoy should collect information before writing these stupid things. "In order to protect his son, he pretended to have a hard time with War and Peace and novels. In fact, he fabricated a story about his mother's death, and I was the only one who believed it. When others learned the truth, they didn't tell me anything: because when I was young, they felt safer not to tell me, but when I grew up, they imagined that someone had told me, but I didn't want to tell them about it myself. Maybe it will only happen in a conservative city like Turin. In Rome, sooner or later, someone will lean out of the window and shout to me, "Massimo, wake up! ""Then enter a description of the details. Nobody knows. What I want to tell you is that even if no one has said anything, I know it in my heart. It was I who suppressed the whispering truth of the Voice of God. Do I want to know the truth? Yes, but not nine years old, but before forty-nine. Bad things are essential, but they are also dangerous. In the long run, people will become cynical or pessimistic, because it conveys a terrible belief that the world will not change. To this end, I would rather have stories about good things around me, stories about people who bravely face bad things and win, because people never stop believing that dreams can change the world. Only those who dream well can absorb the energy of the universe, that is, the energy of love. But we stopped dreaming. We no longer do inflections of verbs in the future tense. However, the future tense is gone, and the present tense is the first to die. I don't know if it is accidental. The only person who is still doing future tense displacement is the person in love. Have you ever heard them talk? When you were lovers, did anyone hear your conversation? Lovers keep planning because they are exposed to the energy of love. When you become a prisoner of any kind of passion, you have that kind of energy. So I suggested that the pharmacist tell his granddaughter the truth: Mother swallowed a poisoned dream because she was out of touch with love. This fact was accepted and recorded painlessly. She has a nutritious and light dream at the dinner table every day. So, I promised my thief friend that he shouldn't feel guilty for stealing my snowboard. He is only the person who is responsible for the wrong behavior. Even with his generous friendship, he still made a mistake. So, I answered the young innkeeper: pain revealed the power of love to him. His girl has been waiting for him and forgave him, but she is not a weak person. On the contrary, she is strong and will not give up her dream because the man she loves hesitates. She knows, "If a dream is your dream and you came to this world for it, then you can hide it in your heart and hide it behind the dark clouds of skepticism all your life, but you can't get rid of it." This dream will constantly send you disappointment signals, such as boredom or lack of enthusiasm, in anticipation of your awakening. " Jung didn't say this, I wrote it myself. Someone said it earlier and better than I did, and that was william shakespeare, on that midsummer night. Sweet dreams! "After Dreams" was written for the Rome International Literature Festival. On the evening of June 20 12, the author read aloud in Marcelo Cathedral, which was the summer solstice. * Formerly known as Che tempo che fa, Italian TV 3 is a very popular celebrity talk show, covering hot topics such as current affairs, politics, economy, culture, sports and entertainment.