I saw a question on Zhihu: Don't let the children lose at the starting line. Is it the biggest lie?

One of them praised the answer:

This sentence is not a lie, just using the wrong object, let the children not lose at the starting line, not toss the children to death, but toss themselves to death now, because the starting line of the children is you, and your economic ability, knowledge and morality determine where your children start, where they run and how they run.

To tell the truth, it really hurts to read this answer.

Many times, we have been worried about the starting line, afraid that our children will be abandoned by their peers, and then, whether we like it or not, we will give our children various training classes crazily, which will put a lot of pressure on them.

Children are naughty and willful, as long as they study hard; Children are arrogant and unreasonable. As long as they study hard, they are psychologically fragile and will lie. As long as they study hard.

At first glance, as long as children study well, everything will give them a green light.

I attended a customer appreciation meeting. Because it is Sunday, there are many children there.

When eating, a child is arrogant and unreasonable, putting all his favorite foods in front of him. He even spits when other children want it. When the adult pointed out his mistake, he was very dissatisfied.

Not only that, but his mother also has them:

The child is so normal, there is no need to make a fuss The children are doing well in their studies, and we are very satisfied.

God, what kind of logic is this, so your children can do whatever they want by studying hard?

You can't reason with such parents at all, because there is no reason in her world. Such parents will never raise promising children.

2

The child is a blank sheet of paper. It's up to you how to color.

The German philosopher IELTS Bells said:

Education is a tree shaking another tree, a cloud pushing another cloud, and a soul calling another soul.

What kind of parents you are, what kind of person your child will become. If you are arrogant and unreasonable, then children will be arrogant and unreasonable. If you don't have good qualities, then children certainly don't.

CCTV once had a public service advertisement of "transmitting love": after seeing his mother washing his feet, his young son clumsily carried a basin of water: "Mother washed her feet".

The advertisement is short, but it has a great meaning. It was the mother's love that passed on to the little boy, letting him know the power of love, so he would do such a move when his mother came into the room.

If you want your children to be good enough, please make yourself good first.

I saw one picture after another before. On a rainy day, a mother tilted her umbrella to the tramp around her, and then covered her son with her left hand, and she was soaked to the skin.

This picture touched me deeply. I believe that when children grow up, they will remember their mother's teaching and feel the power of their mother's love. This power is silent, but it is unforgettable.

Many parents have been complaining that their children are disobedient and feel that they owe themselves a lot, but their hard work is not understood, but have you thought about it? These are what you want to pay, not what they want.

You are lying on the sofa playing with your mobile phone crazily, but you want your children to do their homework. Is this realistic? Parents' words and deeds hide their children's future. What kind of parents you are, what kind of children you are.

three

A few days ago, a reader complained to me: the child is getting more and more disobedient and really tired.

Through detailed communication, I finally know the crux.

The reader has done a lot for his children. In order to give them a good starting point, he spent more than 2 million yuan to buy a school district to let their children go to the best schools.

At home, he specially installed a great study for his children and bought many books for them. When they walked in, they felt as if they were in a small library.

But he has done so much, and his children's academic performance is not good. Not only that, he often fights with his classmates.

I asked him if he usually studies with his children. He said:

No, I am a lout. I just let him study by himself. I just watch TV and play mobile phone on the sofa.

Not only that, this reader often drinks with friends at home, takes the children out, makes trouble without reason when he meets something, and starts work if he doesn't agree with a word.

He asked me what to do.

I said, "You deserve it. It's your own fault that the child has become like this. If you want to make your child better, change yourself first. "

You and I, as well as many parents around us, feel that we only need to prepare superior living conditions for our children, which is obviously deceiving ourselves.

The child is disobedient, and you have been complaining, but you never find the reason from yourself. Is it particularly sad?

When the problem becomes more and more serious, you will be anxious to find a solution, but you don't know it's too late.

four

There is a movie in India called The Starting Line. The story of the film is simple: just a couple who run a clothing store, trying to get their daughter to squeeze into the upper class through a prestigious school.

They think that when a child enters a prestigious school, there is no limit to his future life.

However, you should know that there are not only ordinary universities in life, but also social universities, which not only have achievements, but also have three views on character cultivation and morality. These are all important chips to decide a child.

Every child's acceptance of knowledge is different. You don't have to study hard, but you must have good quality and excellent morality, because this is a lifelong matter.

In modern education, it is particularly important for parents to learn to look at themselves. Smart parents will never blame their children, but look for reasons from themselves. They will try to make themselves better and set a good example for their children.

After all, children are ordinary. She may not grow up as you expected, but so what? Isn't it a kind of happiness to cherish the time together?

It is not easy to be a good parent, and it is even more difficult to set an example for children.

First, you need to make yourself stronger. You should learn to restrain yourself and don't play mobile phone frequently in front of children. You should stick to exercise, let your child know the benefits of exercise and tell him the truth of growing up.

Secondly, we should have good study and living habits.

A good habit is especially important for children. The most effective way to cultivate good habits is to set an example.

Third, we should have a good attitude.

You know all the stories that encourage seedlings, so don't make this mistake again. It is natural to have a clever child.

But many times all we have is an ordinary child, and we don't need to be anxious when he grows up.

If you can be strict with yourself and be an excellent parent, then your children will be very promising, and the person who will achieve your children will be you rather than others.

I wish your child a good starting line.