I take my high school as an example to understand what you said. High school is the most turbulent period in my heart. On the one hand, in order to have a good future, I have to force myself to study, so I pretend to be a person who keeps learning to do homework, sitting in the classroom, others are chatting, I am writing homework, sitting in the library, others are wandering and I am doing homework. Relying on this disguise, I hinted to myself: "I love learning and I will definitely get good grades." On the other hand, I was constantly beaten in the face, and my academic performance and mistakes in answering questions told me: "No matter how hard I work, there will be no return." I racked my brains and couldn't find a way to improve my grades at all. I began to guess the eyes of others, thinking that the eyes of others were relaxed and pleasant, thinking that they proudly laughed at my futile efforts, and at the same time, I tried my best to stabilize myself and continue to pretend to be doing my homework.
From my story, it can be seen that it is not necessarily how many vicious words others have said, but my inner confusion and fear have been shaking. Later, I established various psychological barriers. For example, I think others are superficial, I think others only see the surface of complex phenomena, and I think I despise explaining anything to others. With psychological barriers, I am farther away from the crowd and become more withdrawn.
I am now reflecting on the topic of "inner strength", and I think it is still an illusion. No matter how strong and firm a person's heart is, it can't compare with steel. Based on this understanding, I would like to make two suggestions. The first is to reduce conflicts and avoid their sharp edges. For example, if you are afraid of other people's eyes, then avoid it, choose a place with few people, and choose to do things at night with few people. If you really can't hide, pretend you are doing something else. When people ask you, you lie to others. After reducing your inner contradictions in many ways, do your own thing secretly. For example, Xueba will choose to get up early, not necessarily pretending. In the morning, others are still groggy and have little gossip. Admit that your heart is made of tofu, then foster strengths and avoid weaknesses and work hard.
The second is to make yourself stupid. People are frustrated and easy to think. Severe paranoia is like the waves of the sea. How can your little heart resist? For example, if your academic performance is not good, think about whether there is a problem with school education. For example, your life is so hard, should you change your life trajectory, so think about the meaning of life. For example, you are always unsuccessful, should you blame the failure of family education, which leads to your incomplete personality? There may be problems in school education, and the meaning of life may not be figured out, but neither can our little brains. If you have to think about it, you are torturing yourself. Therefore, we need to make ourselves stupid, the reality is not satisfactory, and tell ourselves that we have not paid enough. Don't worry about returns, because giving is not necessarily proportional to returns. It's simple to tell yourself that the future is unpredictable and live your life slowly. Stop your thoughts in time, calm your heart, and tell yourself stupidly that it is good to do the things in front of you.
Good luck!
People who care too much about others' opinions are kind and sensitive.
There is a flattering trait in interpersonal relationships. When dealing with contradictions, such people tend to ignore their own value feelings. I would rather grieve myself than help others. After a long time, my personality becomes more introverted and my mood becomes depressed. An unhappy person can't bring happiness to others. You find that your grievances have not brought you a comfortable relationship. The less you have yourself, the less they value you.
Sartre, a French existentialist philosopher, once said, "Others are hell". In reality, we are often involuntarily, and this obstacle is the vision of others. The eyes of others are terrible. They unscrupulously interfered with my choice, which made me hesitate and even forced me to make a choice I didn't want.
Everyone is unique. Don't think that the good feeling of being loved, trusted, powerful and fulfilled is given to you by others, and you need a specific person or thing to get it. Just like the feeling of being hurt, that event or individual is just a medium, and the whole process is just a game. It is you who project the power and sigh that originally belonged to you to the other side, and take them back in another package after secondary processing. This is what countless masters have been telling people that all your essence is sufficient.
It's just that when you grow up, someone may cut off your wings, making you unable to believe your feelings and be yourself. But when you grow up, you can still grow up Breaking the curse of "caring too much about others" is simple. Tell yourself that you are not RMB, and you can't be liked by everyone. Besides, there must be some people in this world who can't like you no matter how perfect you are. It's no big deal not to be liked by some people. Don't try to please others, but take care of yourself
Finally, I send you a word from psychologist Adler: Because you want to be recognized by others too much, you will live according to others' expectations, and you will abandon your true self and live in others' lives. Don't live to meet other people's expectations. When we choose a free lifestyle, we must have the courage to be hated by others.
Practice a strong heart, don't care what others say, it's hard to say it, it's easy to say it. It's hard to say, because if you don't start with the change of ideas, but realize it through psychological exercise, you need to experience many setbacks, pains and hardships, and countless hesitations and collapses; It's easy to say, because as long as you change your mind, start with small things and accumulate bit by bit, you will change yourself unconsciously. When you become a Buddha, you become a demon. Whether you are strong or weak, whether you care or ignore it, is actually between one thought. Life should be simple and not complicated. Here are some simple ways to do it.
1. Believe and accept yourself. There is no absolutely powerful heart. Behind every seemingly powerful heart is actually a conscious commitment to one's own responsibility. Even after many unknown sufferings, a person's heart is still very calm. Because you believe in yourself, you don't care about all kinds of noises in your ears, because you know that there are always many people in this world who like to point, because they are full and have nothing to do. Because you accept yourself, you have accepted all the tests of this world. You know success or failure has nothing to do with the world.
2. Small things are honed and persevered. The key to making yourself stronger is self-confidence. Self-confidence can only be based on more experience and reflection. Because people may encounter their own thorny, difficult, confused and thorny things at any time in real life, if you avoid difficulties abnormally, you will be extremely painful every time you encounter difficulties. If you usually pay attention to the reaction between drops and form a habit, then when difficulties come, you will naturally make a habitual reaction, and you will feel extremely proud and happy after solving the problem, and enjoy it.
3. Be diligent in summing up and focus on the present. Learning is the most effective way to change psychological quality. Through learning, you will not only effectively improve your ideological realm and observation perspective, but also experience life and realm that you have never experienced before, and even put yourself in others' shoes in the process of life, thus greatly enhancing your tolerance and understanding of others, thus increasing your resistance, tolerance and even blindness to others' words and eyes. In addition, you can only concentrate on doing your own thing now, and according to your own judgment and mind, turn a deaf ear to other people's words and eyes or be arrogant. All actions as long as you don't regret, don't regret, and complete your own ideas are the greatest respect for yourself. Respect for yourself needs no reason, let alone others making irresponsible remarks and pointing fingers.
The heart is the source of one's strength. To make yourself strong, you need inner cultivation, and you should do the following three things:
First, let yourself be quiet. When you are sad, find a quiet place. Listening to music, eating some delicious food and watching a romantic poem ... The most beautiful appearance of a person is that he is leisurely and full of light. Do something that touches your heart. All the glitz and noise bow their heads before meditation. A quiet soul can take you through all the storms in life. Quiet people are the most powerful people.
Second, learn to be yourself. This kind of life is your own, and others are just spectators. Because I am the protagonist, I can act as I like. Because others are just spectators, let him go. Remember: you are the protagonist, don't make yourself a supporting role. Don't dwell on other people's emotions, let alone torture yourself with other people's ideas. See through, the world will be clear.
Third, learn not to care. Never let others say what you want to hear. The world is not so beautiful and people's hearts are not so pure. Not every gust of wind will blow through your mind. No matter how good it is, it can't escape other people's gossip. Only by caring less will you be happier. Let go, don't care, be broad-minded, and life will be less painful.
Nothing can break, it will only make you stronger. In fact, there is no pain in life for nothing. All the ups and downs are to shape a more tenacious and unyielding you. Everything will pass. One day you will know that everything is the best arrangement.
How to exercise a strong psychological quality, no matter what others say?
Strong psychological quality is an integral part of a person's overall quality.
Natural quality and acquired quality are gradually developed under the influence of environment, education, practice and activities, and psychological quality is a combination of congenital and acquired.
Psychological quality "cognitive ability, emotional quality, will quality, temperament and personality" and many other aspects.
Psychological quality comes from innate and acquired perception, from the perception of life and from the constant experience and accumulation of life.
How to strengthen one's psychological quality?
Learn to control your emotions. There are many unpleasant things in life, and you have to face all the right and wrong. Frustration and confusion often appear. We should try our best to control our emotions, make our hearts stronger and more mature, and improve our psychological endurance.
Know yourself correctly, know yourself and affirm yourself. From knowing and understanding yourself, there is a saying that the biggest enemy in life is yourself. If a person really knows and understands himself, he will keep himself in order, take the initiative in life, realize his own shortcomings, affirm his own strengths, and make his mind healthier and stronger.
Communicate with others more, be good at observing and thinking, enrich personal experience and knowledge, and overcome your lazy thoughts. Observe and think about your behavior from life, keep yourself on the right path of life forever, make your thoughts more active and colorful, and make your soul more full and clean. Overcome your own shortcomings, change yourself with objective and advanced consciousness, and let your quality stand in front of the truth forever.
Strong psychological quality, from continuous learning, from constant self-confidence and adaptability, more optimistic and calm in the face of life, have enough confidence and ability to adapt to life, and give everything for yourself!
When it comes to sports, it's not just theory, but doing and practicing. This truth is the same as physical exercise. It is impossible to run a marathon without running every day. It is impossible. The methods of psychological exercise mainly include meditation, meditation, meditation and yoga. Psychology introduces these methods, which are called mindfulness. But can you cultivate a strong psychological quality just by doing these exercises? The answer is no, which most people don't know. Meditation exercises can improve psychological stability. On this basis, we need to learn more psychological knowledge, apply it to our own lives, combine it with practice, become a part of our hearts through constant experience and perception, and acquire strong psychological quality.
The founder of "Three-way Body-Mind Healing System" has more than 65,438+00 years of meditation experience, successfully achieved self-healing, solved his own physical and mental troubles, and had a very detailed and in-depth understanding of the process of body-mind transformation. We deeply understand that when people are in deep pain, it seems that they can't tell their own direction in the dark. What they need most is care, companionship, encouragement and correct guidance. We have helped patients with severe anxiety and depression who have been taking drugs for many years to recover in a short time because we can provide personalized and targeted methods and personal guidance. Three kinds of body-mind integration therapy help you acquire strong psychological quality!
People will encounter all kinds of different things in their life, and even some things are unexpected and sudden, which are difficult to handle and accept.
Facing the sudden arrival of these accidents is an important period to test a person's psychological quality.
In fact, the strength of psychological quality can be strengthened not only through exercise. To improve people's psychological quality, first of all, we should learn and master all kinds of social life knowledge, including party discipline and state law, philosophy, politics, economy, military medical care and so on. All fields should be involved. Only when the knowledge is strong can the heart be strong and the ability to deal with all kinds of emergencies be possessed. Second, think more. Thinking is a process of digesting on the basis of accumulating knowledge, just like eating too much in a person's stomach. If you don't digest it, you can't stand it. It's bad for your health. Only by thinking and digesting what you have learned often can you give full play to the role of knowledge in real life. Third, accumulate more. Accumulation is to store what you have seen and heard in your life and what happened to others in your brain and memory. One day, you will find yourself in a similar situation, and you won't panic. To put it bluntly, you will turn other people's lessons into your own experience. This is the process of strengthening your psychological quality. Fourth, be calm. Life, no matter what happens at work or in life, sometimes happens suddenly. At this time, you, big or small, must not be anxious. You must be calm, think carefully, analyze the ins and outs of things and find the root of the problem. This is a process of psychological maturity and a basic sign of maturity.
No exercise!
If you fall from the point where everyone thinks you are excellent and worships you to the bottom, start a low-level industry that others think is very low, and become a pawn in the eyes of a "gentleman". In order to survive, you can tolerate other people's gossip and strange eyes!
Well, congratulations, you already have a strong psychological quality! Moreover, you will have unexpected gains: all kinds of monsters will be exposed at this low stage, and the former friendship is so fragile in front of reality! Some people or things will slowly unveil the veil of hypocrisy, and you will see who is real and who is fake!
Expressing personal views is somewhat one-sided, but I hope to answer a little.
Personally, I think a strong psychological quality can be exercised from two dimensions:
One is external experience, we are experiencing new things every day in social activities, and there will be situations that we didn't know before. Some people choose to escape or muddle through, some people choose to face but not summarize, muddle along, some people face but summarize, and constantly revise in the summary; Slowly, the experience will be enriched, knowing that you have handled it well, you will naturally have a strong psychological quality and stay calm in times of crisis;
The second is mentality. To put it bluntly, some people take themselves too seriously.
For example, between boyfriend and girlfriend, some people will have experienced such a thing; The girl told the boy that if we ate delicious food at night, the boy would take the girl to the best restaurant to eat the best food, but he found that the girl was not happy, and the boy thought the girl was melodramatic, but the real situation might be that the boy cooked the delicious food for her himself. Right? It is conceivable that quarreling is inevitable. Then why? Because boys put "themselves" first in some aspects, they don't really consider what girls really need. He takes it for granted that girls will be happy and girls will recognize themselves, but the result is the opposite;
In fact, when we socialize, we should really care about what others think of us, but have we considered other people's feelings before what others think of us?
People who are really psychologically strong may be those who have no "self" psychologically. They live freely, because with the desire to be recognized, there will naturally be disappointment that is not understood;
To sum up, it is difficult to have a strong psychological quality, but we must work hard. There is no harm in experiencing more things, but you must learn to reflect and correct. Think more about others, not too much about yourself, and you will be very free;
Pure personal opinion
Accumulate all the hardships and setbacks you have experienced, and cultivate a supercilious attitude. What else can you do? Of course, you should learn to adjust yourself at ordinary times and have a good attitude in order to last long.