-a letter to the people of China.

Dear China people:

Hello!

Some people say that language is the old capital of Yu Dafu in the autumn wind, the language is the quiet lotus pond reflected by Zhu Ziqing's bright moon, the language flows in Fan Zhongyan's works, and the language echoes in Xunyang's pipa girl's music [is it more cordial to change "language" to "you"] ... But I want to say that language is an indelible landscape in my life. Because of you, my life has become better! [The opening topic is broken and concise]

How many leisurely afternoons, I held a cup of fragrant teas, opened the yellowed pages, and quietly lay on the Gu Teng chair to have a distant date with you. [Simple words, beautiful artistic conception] Because of you, I began to be infatuated with Li Bai's romance, Du Fu's melancholy, Tao Qian's leisure, Yi 'an's sadness ... My wandering thoughts inadvertently got into your broad mind, and a colorful and gorgeous world appeared in front of me. Too many, the ups and downs of the official sea, the changes of the world, accumulated your profound heritage, cast your brilliant spirit! Silkworms in spring will weave until they die. You told me the persistence of "candles turn to ashes and tears begin to dry". You taught me the integrity of "I'd rather die than hold incense than fall into the north wind". When you lit the last match in the little girl's hand, I suddenly understood that love is our eternal pursuit; When you show me the last leaf that never falls, selfless love is deeply rooted in my heart. I have learned too much because of you. [The influence of moral sentiment]

How many poetic rainy nights, "the phoenix tree is raining more, and the dusk is dripping", Li Qingzhao's words have not been finished, and the night has replaced the dusk and occupied the whole sky. You and I had a long talk all night, and it was in this rain that we started. The rain wet the vegetation and rustled, which is "leaving the residual lotus to listen to the rain"; Rainwater flows into the pool and makes a tinkling sound, which is called "late rain rises in autumn pool". The rustling rain reminds me of the sadness that the window is not warm; The majestic sound of rain reminds me of the grief and indignation of "lying at night listening to the wind and rain" [from "rain" to "rain", from "rain rustling" to "rain majestic", the paragraphs are well-defined and the details are remarkable] Because of you, I even want to be a woman who walked through the rain lane, embroidering the red line of acacia on Luo's skirt and leaving a long and short taste on the woven Tang Fengcai brocade. It is not only a quotation, but also a practical use. It is absolutely impossible to be unfamiliar with the chest and not deliberately. Because of you, my temperament has been cultivated so ethereal and pure! [temperament cultivation]

Nothing can make me stay/except you/even if there are roses, shade and quiet harbor on the shore/I am a small boat that is not tied.

Oh, China, China. With you, my life is better! If I really am a ship that is not tied, then the end of my journey is on your vast chest! [Speak your mind and be sincere]

People who are obsessed with you

X month x day

General comment: "Reading is like a book, writing is like a god", which is the feeling after reading. Indeed, if you don't read widely and don't read poetry books, it may be difficult to ask for quotations from others. It is precisely because there are poetry books in the abdomen that the language of this article is beautiful and elegant, both bookish and poetic. Not only that, many writers' works seem handy, but they are actually ingenious: after using "someone said" to elicit their feelings, and then point out the topic, the article set up two situations: "leisurely afternoon" and "poetic rainy night", withholding "because of you" from two aspects of quality and temperament respectively to express their gains and feelings, and then get together in time to use a song. The whole article is done in one go, without branches or vines. It can be said that this article can be regarded as a masterpiece of composition in the examination room in terms of content, language and structure. Coupled with the standard writing and beautiful handwriting, it should be reasonable to be judged as a perfect composition. (Lianyungang Foreign Language School Wang)

Selected works II. (60 points)

We live tirelessly in this city as vast as the sea, seemingly calm but ups and downs. The surging thoughts in the corner gradually linger when the sun rises. Why are the footprints of the past still shining on the blue horizon? (The language is profound and beautiful)

Because of you. (Quote the full text, point the topic, and set a suspense)

one

Dreams once hidden under the dust have merged into a grand feast and a golden bonfire in our hearts to commemorate our lost childhood. I lived in my grandmother's house in kindergarten and met you who lived next door-smiling. You are two years older than me, and you always like to take me to play. When I was a child, I always said to you, "Sister Yan, I want to drink Wahaha." You always give me everything. Remember the board we drew together? You use blue chalk, mine is red, and the first word I write is your name. You taught me with your hands, and I giggled because of your compliment.

We danced together on grandma's tricycle and caught watermelon worms in the backyard ... The pain of my parents' divorce was drowned by the cicadas that summer, and my childhood became happy and beautiful because of you. Because the smile says, "Even if you are hurt, smile bravely."

two

I always think of the long time hidden behind the green leaves, just like the falling leaves in autumn. That year, through my efforts, I finally got into the same school as you. You are in grade three and I am in grade one. You often come to see me and bring me a lot of delicious food. I listen to you, too. I have been studying very hard. Now, I will think of our past endlessly. The summer you left, you said to me, "Dreams only favor those who are prepared." I nodded with tears. In this way, you entered the ideal high school as you wish, and I continue to struggle here, remembering your words and writing.

Smile, today, I am really happy. Sitting in the examination room of the senior high school entrance examination, my pen is full of affection. Because of you, my youth is more persistent and devout.

three

The leaves on the branches are blown by hot air, and the green flowers are shallow in the sky. In the harvest season in June, the author used "lush bloom" to symbolize his hope for early harvest. )

Because of you, my life is no longer dim.

Because of you, my heart is full of hope.

Because of you, sitting here, I am no longer lonely. ...

Smile, my wheat field has also produced golden ears of rice, and I am free to fly in this journey.

Because of you, because of you. (Concise, point out the main idea, so that the feelings of the full text have been sublimated. )

Comments: What impressed me most about this composition was the candidate's language. There is a fresh wind in the faint sorrow. Stories in memory are told, seemingly unremarkable, but each sentence contains the author's true feelings, sincere and touching. "Because of you, the pain of parents' divorce was drowned; Because of you, my youth has more persistence; Because of you, there are golden ears of rice in my wheat field. "Everything is just" because of you ",which shows the deep influence of" you "on" me ".The whole text is closely related to the theme, with clear center and accurate causal relationship. The article is well organized and clear in paragraphs. In a short article, the functions of beginning and end, summary, topic selection, echo and emotional sublimation are put in place, and the main part in the middle is naturally divided into three parts in chronological order. This composition, both in language and conception, reflects the examinee's profound writing skills. (Lianyungang Foreign Language School Wu Yang)

Selected works 3. (59 points)

I don't know the sweetness of coffee or the boldness of wine, but I just like your fragrance and sweetness. [Use contrast at the beginning to set suspense and reflect the position of "you" in my mind]

Some people say that pessimists like you and optimists like wine. I don't think so. Because you have something extraordinary, quiet and elegant that wine doesn't have. You often appear on the warm little coffee table and listen to stories. Or the long-term military camp life among comrades-in-arms, or the affection between teachers and students, or the reunion after a long separation ... [parallelism, arousing readers' infinite reverie] It is a kind of lasting happiness to be around you. But wine is different. It only appears before and after the farewell dinner. Otherwise, how can there be the sadness of "advising you to drink more wine" that makes people forget the pain of leaving when they are drunk? I don't like parting, so I like you.

Sometimes I will look at you quietly. You dance freely and gracefully in boiling water, more than flying in the sky. Watching the lake slowly turn into elegant green brings my thoughts back to the beautiful scenery of the West Lake, the freshness of Longjing fields, and sometimes even a wisp of jasmine fragrance floats over my nose. At this time, I feel comfortable as if I were melting. Watching you sink into the bottom of the cup, I often think that I, like you, dedicate myself to the outside world, show my true self to others, help others with my own strength, and make the society as fresh and warm as this cup of green tea. [Many language highlights in this paragraph slowly show the image of "you" to readers. ]

What is happiness? It is happiness to have you in hand in winter. It is happiness to have your company in the lonely night; When a person is frustrated, it is happiness to have you around to consider every bit ... You are always by my side silently, haunting me with your warm breath, and at this moment, how much I want to be with you, find myself, find my dreams and sadness?

Tea, you, gave me every warmth selflessly. I can't enjoy drinking 3,000 poems like a scholar, and I can't fully understand you, but it doesn't matter, because I know you, and you have something unknown, so you don't need to understand it deliberately.

Because of you, when my life lost its color, it gave me a little new green. Because of you, I will contribute more actively to others. Because of you, I found my true self and gave it to others. 【 Reveal the theme, concise language. ]

A few pieces of tea, a few pots of hot water, a few wisps of fragrance, a few wisps of fragrance ... let me propose a toast to you.

General comment: whether a thing is wonderful or not depends on whether you feel it with your heart. After reading the whole article, the author's talent aura jumps from the paper, and this talent aura is the result of the author's intention: the author's talent is not only manifested in the rich and varied vocabulary in the article, but also in the clear structure, harmony and unity. The author's aura is inseparable from his familiarity and obsession with tea in daily life. This paper shows that the author has rich literacy and can experience wonderful people from tea. I believe his life will be more exciting! (Lianyungang Foreign Language School Zhu Wei)

Selected works 4. (59 points)

Because of you, the waves are rough;

Because of you, there are stars;

Because of you, there is a trickle;

Because of you, there are many fruits. [With a set of parallelism sentences, the article looks very atmospheric]

You, tolerant, a wise man who leads an honest and clean life. Because of you, the sea is magnificent, the stars are shining in the sky, the rivers are flowing smoothly and the crops are bumper. [Repeated use of parallelism enhances the expression effect]

You've always been a loner, and you don't like noise and wealth. Your simplicity makes people really treat you. You educate people with compassion, wash dirty thoughts and purify dirty hearts. Where you are, the seasons are evergreen and the birds are singing and the flowers are fragrant. You erased the injustice in people's hearts with a sincere heart. The concise and fluent language shows the young author's profound literary accomplishment.

When a young man accidentally stepped on a beautiful girl's slender foot on the bus, your arrival turned anger into understanding. The young man said "I'm sorry, please forgive me" and blushed like a ripe persimmon, [figuratively speaking] while the girl gently said "it doesn't matter", and the embarrassing scene suddenly became harmonious; When the waiter in the restaurant spilled wine on the guests' clothes in a hurry, you came quietly again. This kind of communication, the original resentful eyes became clear and Wan Li, and the flustered expression turned into a sincere smile. [Two examples positively illustrate the role of tolerance]

If it weren't for you, Cao Cao would have been destroyed by Guan Yu, and there would be no three pillars in the future; If it weren't for you, Meng Huo would have been a ghost under Zhuge Liang's sword, and there would be no obedience from the ministries led by Meng Huo in the future; If it weren't for you, Wei Zhi would have died at the hands of Emperor Taizong dozens of times, and there would be no rules of chastity. [This section illustrates the consequences of intolerance from the opposite side]

You never expect anything in return. You just want people in the world to live in harmony. Enough!

Your existence is a bridge of spiritual communication between people, a hub of mutual communication, and an emotional stimulant ... [summarized in vivid language]

You, with a big belly, can tolerate the injustice of this world;

You, skilled and good at doing things, are a bridge between the East and the West.

It can be said that "I am not afraid of broken bones, but I will stay in the world and be tolerant", and the same is true for you. [It's wonderful to collect the full text with couplets and poems]

General comment: This is an exam composition that wins by language. Beautiful language, elegant and fluent, with everyone's demeanor. It's like drinking a cup of fragrant tea, savoring it carefully and having an endless aftertaste, so it stands out from many compositions. The article uses many rhetorical devices, such as parallelism, metaphor, personification, quotation, etc., which makes the article magnificent, beautiful in language and brilliant in literary talent. "My mind is full of poems and books". It is inseparable that the young author can write such an atmospheric article in a limited time and read widely in peacetime. (Sydney Ganyu Foreign Language School)

Select 5 excellent works. (58 points)

Through glitz and erosion, through sadness and helplessness, through vicissitudes of life, your figure vaguely appeared in my sight. You, a big tear in the prosperous Tang Dynasty, because of you, I see the long river of history shining; Because of you, I feel the sorrow of people with lofty ideals under the decadent dynasty. ...

Let me tell you slowly, I think I understand you. (transitional nature)

Pushing open the ancient and heavy historical door, your white clothes are fluttering, your green yarn is dancing with the wind, and you are holding a hip flask and drinking a cup of lonely wine. (Use the technique of sketching to portray the characters vividly. Except the moon, who knows what's on your mind at this moment? The moonlight is ethereal, clear and transparent, and the red everywhere crushes this precipitated dream. You shouted, "I'll drink a pot of wine from the flowers alone." No one accompanied me until I raised my cup. I asked the bright moon to bring me my shadow and let the three of us. " When you laugh, tears fly. Carrying your ambition, flying in the long river of history, hanging on the branches of history, condensed into crystal amber. (reading the poet's loneliness)

I saw it, I saw it, because of you, I think the most touching and helpless shell on the historical and cultural beach is yours. Because of you, my heart hurts. You are brilliant and ambitious, but because the dynasty is so decadent, you can only write down the harem gossip that "the clouds want clothes to make you look good, and the spring breeze blows the threshold to show off China". (Reading out the poet's impatience)

A dynasty is in decline, and the tragedy of the prosperous Tang Dynasty is being staged. You, a man abandoned by the dynasty, how can there be a day when "I put on my first spiked shoes and climbed the ladder of blue clouds"? Even if you have a lot of lofty sentiments, "We are all lofty and distant ideas, who wants to go to the sky to embrace the bright moon", you can only leave an endless lament, "Since the world can't satisfy our desire, I will let go of my hair tomorrow and go fishing" ... (Read the poet's frustration)

Because of you, I no longer only see the surface of history, but only pay attention to your lofty sentiments. There is Fan Zhongyan's "People don't sleep, generals have white hair and tears"; Wen Tianxiang's "Mountains and rivers are broken and the wind is floating, and life experiences are ups and downs." Du Fu "There is a war outside the Great Wall, there are mountains outside the Great Wall, and there are tears at the railing." ... behind many declining dynasties, your enthusiasm can only be turned into an eastward river ... thank you, let me learn to look at history calmly, examine and think about everything in history. ...

Because you, my fallen immortal Li Bai, have brought me an unrestrained history of poetry, and I am no longer naive; Because of you, I will have a deeper understanding of other people with lofty ideals, feel and absorb their spirit and integrity, and nourish my life ... (Since the poet, the author has read more people and learned to look at history calmly and examine and think about everything in history)

Let me tell you, because of you, I have strengthened a belief. It's windy Raise the sail. Look, it's the other side. Let me feel your heartbeat in the cross-flow of the sea and unveil the veil of history. ...

General comment: the article takes Li Bai as the object of confide, and leads to the understanding of Li Bai with "Let me confide to you slowly": the poet is lonely, impatient and frustrated, so he has read more people and learned to look at history calmly, examine and think about everything in history, and his writing is very hierarchical; Detailed descriptions, vivid metaphors, quotations of famous sentences and the staggered use of long sentences and short sentences show the candidates' profound knowledge of using language. (Ganyu Foreign Language School Yin)

Selected works 6. (58 points)

Turn over the wind chimes in the window lattice, and in the long rhyme, my thoughts [see below, "missing" is more appropriate] calm down and brew a cup of fragrant tea. Looking at your photo, I drink with my neck upturned and my tongue is covered with quiet flowers. Draw a sweet memory with tears, yes, because of you. [Beginning with doubt, fascinating]

What do you remember? A jingling bicycle.

When I was a child, I was ecstatic every time I saw you push that painted bike out of the yard. Put on your schoolbag and skillfully jump on the crossbar in front of the car seat. In this way, gently lying in your arms, the tied beard gently sticks to my forehead, [inadvertently, a familiar action reveals a deep father's love] gently sticks to my heart. "Tell a story." "Well, tell you an idiom story. Said there were many blind people in the past, they ... ""Blind people touch elephants! Dad, you said that last week. " "Oh, that's ... chestnuts in the fire! There is a monkey ... "I lifted my little face with satisfaction and imagined the plot in the story. 365 days a year, [this sentence can be deleted] my father's knowledge is not high, but for three years, he sent me to school every day, with stories every day. Yes, he always has an idiom dictionary in his bag. Those stories are lively and interesting. I don't know how many late nights, he was thinking hard about what made those withered idioms so charming. Because of you, I am knowledgeable.

What do you remember? Clap for you.

I want to cry on the day I learn Peking Opera. That tone, that rhythm. I didn't succeed, but I still remember that day, when I put on the head of a phoenix with pearls, I pointed out that my lips contained Dan, and I hooked Ye Mei. Verbs such as "point" and "hook" are properly used, concise and clear 】 The sleeves are gently shaken, and the lotus steps are lightly moved. There is only one you under the stage, full of love, like a child, and your palms are red. Nobody wants to listen to me, only you. Because of you, I am full of confidence.

What do you remember? Ginkgo soup for the third day.

You bought ginkgo biloba and said the kernel was poisonous. So he picked up tweezers, peeled them off one by one, concentrated and took out the core. [Describe the details here, saying that your father's care and patience conveyed his father's love] You were busy making a bowl of ginkgo soup all night. "I don't like ginkgo." "You try my father's cooking. You must like it. " "That thing stinks!" "You try it first." Seeing him peel ginkgo hard, I made an exception and took a bite. "Oh, great." He put rock sugar, which was not bitter at all, except for a bowl of incense. Ginkgo is floating like a flower. He planted it for me, planted it in my heart and quietly bloomed. What a poetic metaphor, concise language and rich connotation] Because of you, life is not bitter.

"Come on for the senior high school entrance examination!" He blushed and said timidly to me. He can't say sweet words, but only knows to inject love into my heart bit by bit.

Take me across Qian Shan and pick the first sunshine smile; Build a ladder with me and hold high the pride of the moon. Yes, because of you, with these vows; Yes, because of you, my father. [The ending is implicit and meaningful, deepening the theme]

General comment: Father loves mountains. On the road of growth, we can't do without the care of our parents. An old bicycle reminds me of my father's efforts to tell stories to himself when he was a child, and "I am knowledgeable because of you"; Repeated loving applause made me "confident" when I sang Beijing Opera for the first time. A bowl of gingko soup, with strong fatherly love, is "injecting love into my heart bit by bit", which makes me feel that "life is not bitter". Throughout the whole text, the little author connected three warm pictures in memory with beautiful language and father's love as the core, which was touching and showed the little author's solid basic language skills. This article was rated as the first class. (Ganyu Foreign Language School He Tao)

7.(56 points)

The night gave me black eyes, but I used them to look for light. [Unnatural connection] Finally found you.

-inscription

You said that you were a flower in your last life and it is open to me today;

You said you were obsessed with waiting, and meeting was just a fate.

I suddenly want to write a poem, like three years' accumulation, and I am about to go to generate at this moment, but when I think of you, Peng Pai's heart is comforted ...

The lack of excitement since childhood made me like walking alone in the shade, just wanting to leave the deserted house. Every time I see a little girl with two ponytails happily crowded in front of the lollipop counter and spoiled her mother to the fullest, my heart is shaking. Did I flirt with my mother like this when I was a child? Will I also take my mother's skirt to buy a skirt on weekends? I lost my memory. [Comparing the little girl in front of me with the "I" when I was a child highlights that "I didn't feel happy when I was a child] The adolescence of Tete made my desire for happiness stronger and stronger, but my mother's going out to work again and again completely destroyed my hope. Maybe it's your inner guilt. You often call to make up for the time you can't spend with me. [Improper compensation and time matching]

Finally, one day, you called and said you wanted to go home, but I didn't feel anything. After only a few "uh" and "ah" calls, I hung up. At home, you and I are still speechless. You sit quietly and knit a sweater carefully. Needless to say, it must be for autumn [delete "for autumn"], but at this moment, your face is full of calm, comfort and happiness. On reflection, I suddenly understood, [it changes a little fast and seems abrupt] In fact, you have been giving me happiness, giving me caring calls and giving me beautiful and warm sweaters. And I always accidentally let them slip away, and then I am immersed in great loneliness and pain. Yes, I am happy, because I am sick and you can't sleep, so you buy a ticket to go home and see me all night; I feel depressed because I failed in the exam, and you will call me to encourage and comfort me ... [the little author realizes what real happiness is]

In an instant, my memory bloomed and the petals swayed gently, bearing my happiness. Time can't weather my memory, but it can make it blossom. Poetic language gives people a sense of beauty.

I see, because of you, I have happiness. This kind of happiness is not as vigorous as I thought. It permeates a greeting and a phone call. I quietly looked at my mother's serene and happy face. Although happiness will still slip through my fingers, it will not be earth-shattering and shocking, but it will save my mind and let me enjoy happiness on the road of people's hearts ["people's hearts" should be changed to "life"].

Knowing that everything is perfect and transparent, the curved moon flashes silently, allowing lonely people to reveal their thoughts on life; Because it has the same goal as * * *, its light is calmly displayed. My pursuit, because of you, revolves around me

In the season when the grass grows and the warbler flies, the running water flows down and touches my feet. Looking up at you, the gentle sunshine sprinkled on your concerned face, and I flew over happily, splashing a splash. You smiled and waved and let me walk gently. Yes, time has blossomed my memory and made me feel your greatness. Because of you, I feel the fragrance and happiness of love. 【 Coordinated head and tail, rigorous structure 】

General comment: This is a very successful examination composition. The author knows very well that if you want to write a good article, you must choose what you are most familiar with and write your own unique feelings and experiences. The reason why the article can be written so outstanding is precisely because of this. In addition, the wording and sentences in this article are also unusual. Profound and poetic language makes people respect after reading, and the use of various rhetorical devices also adds a lot of charm to the article. It is rare to write such a good work in the examination room! (Sydney Ganyu Foreign Language School)

Please don't copy mine ~

Replicator ...

Practice! ! !