It seems natural for children to make friends, but it often takes practice for children to make friends correctly. In addition, although people used to think that children would not begin to develop real friendship until school age, current research shows that children can develop intimate relationships as early as 1 year old. When children reach the age of 3-4, it is very important for them to establish such close relationship, which will make children feel comfortable in the first few years of school, which they need very much. Not surprisingly, most families' calendars are marked with dates when children invite friends to play together.
Nowadays, interpersonal skills have been listed as one of the basic IQ of children. As Ma Laudis Kalandan, a clinical child psychologist at the University of the Philippines, said, "A child with low social skills has greater defects than a child who has never been to college."
Cultivate "small diplomats"
After a child is born, it is like a blank sheet of paper. All the patterns were drawn by parents one by one. So is interpersonal skills. So, how can parents teach their children the basic skills of interpersonal relationship-
Start with the basics
Lerner Tua, a child psychologist, said that we should start with the most common basics and teach children to say hello, please, thank you and respond. In other words, we should start from the most basic. Children often imitate the social habits and ways they see. Among them, what they learn most is the habit and way of parents receiving visitors at home, so parents should always pay attention to their social ways. It is normal that children are impatient to listen to their parents and like to interrupt their parents and let them share their views. When talking to children, parents should take turns to talk, listen to him more and preach less.
How to speak?
The dining table is a good place for parents and children to communicate. Parents should try to talk about some casual topics, such as "What do we want to do this weekend?" If the child has no suggestions, you can make suggestions. However, it is best to let the child speak his mind, and don't put him in the position of a bystander or an echo.
Theresa Fogg, a doctor of mental health in Singapore, said: "Jokes will ignite children's interest in speaking and make them free. In short, children should be allowed to talk about anything they like, which is to encourage their creativity and oral expression. " You can also talk to your children more about your feelings. Children often want to express their feelings in conversation, and parents should always tell their children their true feelings.
Overcome shyness
Never underestimate children's shyness, which is a huge obstacle for them to make friends. Research shows that about 1 1- 15% of children tend to be too shy.
Very serious parents often make shy children more timid and stutter. At this time, if parents forcibly correct it, the child's stuttering will intensify. Parents' constant nagging or using high-handed means to correct their children will only make him more afraid. In fact, any threatening behavior, such as scolding, satire, sarcasm or nagging, will not only not help the child at all, but will make him shrink back even more and turn him from shyness into a serious psychological obstacle.
Protecting a shy child is not defending him. Some parents often answer questions for their children in front of doctors. Dr. Lu Li Fang, a Singaporean therapist, said: "At any time, parents should not intervene."
How to overcome children's shyness? Parents take their children to social places step by step, which can help him solve the problem of timidity. For example, a mother can take her daughter to a meeting or a park, introduce her to other children, and suggest that her daughter show her toys to each other.
It can also let children relax among their peers. Let some people she knows first, or invite some people she can trust-friendly neighbors, helpful uncles, especially friends' children, and let them approach your children slowly. In short, parents should create more opportunities for their children.
The interaction between children will completely change their shy temperament.
Let the children play a role.
If you want to take part in the piano performance, your child may start practicing a few weeks in advance, which will enhance your self-confidence. However, many parents neglect to give their children practical opportunities to participate in large-scale invitational competitions. They don't know that such an opportunity will be deeply rooted in the children's minds.
It is important to give children a chance to play a role. Experts say that such an opportunity, like any key on the piano, will play a wonderful sound. If your child wants to attend an activity, such as a wedding, parents should tell him the general procedure of the wedding and its "plot" and allow the child to go by himself.
Dress and clothing should not be ignored. Dr. Lu Lifang said: "Clothing is very important. If his clothes are untidy, other children will notice and even talk about it. This will affect children's confidence. " There is also a very important note. Ma-Laudis Kalandan, a child psychologist in Manila, specially reminded that when teaching children how to communicate, they should not change their basic personality, nor should they deliberately pursue their excellent social skills. If he has only one or two unrestrained friends, that's fine. It is important for children to communicate well with their friends.
Some creative suggestions-simple ways to make friends
Using these creative skills, they can help your "little diplomat" make friends and experience the fun of friendship.
Learning in class-Irene scarf, Colorado
In order to help my 3-year-old child make friends, I attended a parent/baby course in the local community center. We met some mothers and their children there, and we will be invited to join a mother's group soon. This really helps me a lot: we spend two hours together every week. As mothers, we talk to each other to help solve each other's worries about raising children, and the children also play together. This is a good way for my daughter to play with the children of my favorite parents.
Nearby-Carolyn Lewinsky of Massachusetts
If you just moved to a new community and you want to help your children make friends here, then one of the best things you can do is to take your children for a walk in your community. Moreover, when you are walking, it is more helpful to stop and chat with neighbors who have children about your age. Once you know these parents nearby, you should pay attention to what activities the children in the neighborhood are taking part in, such as swimming or attending preschool. Then, you can let your children take part in the same activities and try to arrange to share the car with your neighbors to pick them up.
Love of Books and Learning —— Catherine Riddle, New Jersey
Many bookstores and libraries have storytelling activities, which is a good way for children to make friends and meet their mothers. Remember, once you start taking your children to such activities at a fixed time, you are likely to meet the same group of people often, so you can take the initiative to start talking with others and write down their phone numbers.
Join a health club
When I joined the fitness club, my son and I made many new friends there. I found my own time there, where my son played with other children of the same age in the nursery. My son has established a good friendship with other children, and we regularly participate in group activities with other parents and children. I am also very happy to be friends with other mothers.
How to guide the baby to play together
Babies and toddlers don't play together like older children. In fact, letting these little guys play together is probably a complete failure-they will ignore each other most of the time. But don't worry: although toddlers generally don't cooperate with each other, early children's games are very important for developing children's social skills. Here are some ways to ensure that the little guy can benefit from playing with other children:
Growing up.
At the beginning, only one child was arranged to play with another child at a time. Letting too many toddlers play together will make your children very uneasy.
Play together for a while.
Some babies and toddlers only cooperate and play together for a few minutes. If your child becomes grumpy or obviously unhappy, say "goodbye" to other babies and take it home directly. Moreover, don't ignore each other just because the children are together, so don't let the children play together; You know, babies' social skills will eventually be developed.
Come prepared
Babies who eat properly and have enough rest are not easy to lose their temper, which is why it is usually better to let the little ones play together in the morning. If you want to go to other people's homes, it's also a good idea to bring some children's own toys.
play games
Parents can guide their children to play together and play some simple games, such as building blocks or putting the ball in the basket. In addition, there are many boxes for children to put their toys in, so that children can pour out their toys and sort them-this is the favorite game for toddlers.